Dating problem with the Irish

[Stewart Rod]

I don’t think there are many Irish guys on this website, but in Ireland, hooking up is very much based around;

who your friends are, and whether you drink

as opposed to;

what are your achievements, and how much money you have.

Obviously looks and personality count in any case, but in Ireland seduction is overly dependent on alcohol. Regarding myself; I have friends, but I don’t belong to a group if you know what I mean - my friends are sort of ‘here there and everywhere’. And maybe I’m wrong in saying this, but (in Ireland), I think even more so the case, that a lot of it’s to do with getting in with the popular guys (sports I guess), and working your way up. And it's probably that way until you reach your mid to late 20s.

So in other words, approaching strangers on the street (which isn’t my cup of tea either) would be even more unorthodox in Ireland (than the states). Thinking about it… I don’t know, maybe if an American were to come to Ireland, and was happily oblivious to our social norms; then he might be in a better position to try day game. But even still, I’d expect any success he’d have would simply be down to the fact of him being “an American”. If an Irish guy tried it, the woman would naturally be very suspicious, and he’d be judged very harshly. I can honestly put my hand on my heart and say that “day game has never been tried in Ireland by Irish men”

Not to mention the fact tinder and social media make this problem even worse. Even on this website, within the last year, you can clearly see that more and more of the threads are to do with tinder and texting.

I often find myself reading through the various pieces of advice (in the articles on GC), and thinking “okay, that’s applicable”. But then when actual examples are given, of what to say, I simply couldn’t imagine myself saying those words. And it’s not just because it wouldn’t suit my character. It’s more than that – it’s because the Irish work differently. It might be something to do with the fact that women view sex as something bad (catholics are full of guilt), and therefore can’t do it unless they’re drunk. Not many people are even religious any more, but the mentality still lives on.

So, in spite of the fact I’ve had a few lays, any time I’ve actually tried to be persuasive or persistent, it hasn’t worked. For example, I would like to get laid and know that’s it’s related to an achievement (that I might have worked hard to get). So I don’t always feel I’m in a position to apply any of the tactics I’ve learned. Needless to say, I don’t drink. I often feel smart because I don’t drink, so this can be ironic for me!!

 

[journeyman]

Stewart here is my thoughts for your problem.
I think that in all developed countries, it is socially acceptable for people to :
a) chat with strangers
b) go out on dates

And that is all you need to implement GC material. You don't need to always be stopping strangers in the street which might come off as awkward, but you can chat with strangers (cute girls) at the bust stop or at a supermarket etc etc eventually persuading them to go out with you. How extensively have you tried? Have you been out doing cold approaches often?

I am not trying to be hard on you, but since I don't know about your situation I have the feeling that you are trying to rationalize your problem into having the society against you instead of admitting that you need to get better. This is the easy thing to do for your ego but it is in no way correct. You might want to focus on improving yourself before classifying a whole nation as non responsive to your charms.

Also you mentioned

hooking up is very much based around;

who your friends are, and whether you drink

as opposed to;

what are your achievements, and how much money you have.

If that was true and hooking up was about how much money you have or about your achievements then this site would be total bs. Thankfully it is not true and if you can become a sexy man, then you can hook up reguraly without having a lot of money or significant accomplishments.

 

[ray_zorse]

sakbishop's 100% on the money, except to say that stopping women in the street is also fine, I often do it just to stay in practice, compliment her and then send her on her way. See this thread.

I don’t know, maybe if an American were to come to Ireland, and was happily oblivious to our social norms; then he might be in a better position to try day game. But even still, I’d expect any success he’d have would simply be down to the fact of him being “an American”. If an Irish guy tried it, the woman would naturally be very suspicious, and he’d be judged very harshly.

Complete BS, I was talking to a Japanese guy about this just recently, bartender knows I daygame and asked if I had had any dates lately (I had been pounding this girl all day, who I'd met that morning, and had dropped her at the station on the way to the bar, had pussy juice all over my dick, though I didn't mention any of this), dude next to me commented how the girls in the bar were eating out of my hand... convo like this

Him: JP girls like foreign men
Me: true, although to a JP, no-one could ever be as good as another JP
Him: yes, but you are very handsome
Me: haha sure, but not next to you, you look like a fuckin rock star (it was true)
Him: anyway, JP aren't allowed to break social rules
Me: yes you are, have you tried it?
Him: but people expect foreigners not to know what to do
Me: I see, although everything I do with girls has a purpose
Him: so you honestly just walk around starting conversations with people?
Me: sure, they love it, makes their day more interesting
Him: but that sounds very difficult
Me: the only really difficult thing is I don't speak the language all that well, but it's a good way to improve
Him: but JP guys could never do that
Me: yes you can, you already speak the language, easy
Him: anyway, girls my age aren't that hot
Me: haha any age is fine, if she takes care of herself which basically all JP women do
Him: but you are so young
Me: I bet I'm older than you (turns out I'm 39, he's 32, haha)
Him: girls only want a young, handsome, fashionable foreigner like you
Me: dude, I'm older than you, not as good looking, fatter, and I have 3 sets of clothes and a travel iron in this backpack right here, and I barely speak the language... girls don't care about any of that stuff, it's only important to act like a boss
... I check my dictionary and coin the term "bosu no gyogi" (boss behaviour) and go on to describe it with examples ...
Him: I don't know...
Me: well look, (bartender) has day off on Sunday, if you're free then then let's all go talk to some girls, I will show you step by step
Him: mmm hmm (claims to be busy, bartender also flakes on me when I call by Saturday evening to confirm arrangements, claims he has to drink with some dudes...)

Bottom line, can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Luckily, that's not you, Stewart Rod

Your comments about women and sex are also typical for someone who hasn't applied GC material yet. Actually my current gf is a devout Catholic who has told me she must pray to God for forgiveness every time we have sex, because we are not married. And as she's begun to trust me more and more she's shown me an intensely sexual side. Particularly last night -- this even surprised me since I went into the relationship with some misgivings about her attitude to sex. Afterwards she shyly told me that she appreciates how I always find a way to make her orgasm even if it's not working for her, and even more shyly, that she would like to try giving me a blowjob if I am really, really clean beforehand.

Women LOVE SEX... even more than men! If it appears not so, it's because she does not trust you yet. Precisely what you wrote, is the kind of attitude that makes women think "you are not one of us" and therefore hide their sexual side.

Ray

 

[Stewart Rod]

sakbishop's 100% on the money, except to say that stopping women in the street is also fine, I often do it just to stay in practice, compliment her and then send her on her way. See this thread.

I don’t know, maybe if an American were to come to Ireland, and was happily oblivious to our social norms; then he might be in a better position to try day game. But even still, I’d expect any success he’d have would simply be down to the fact of him being “an American”. If an Irish guy tried it, the woman would naturally be very suspicious, and he’d be judged very harshly.

Complete BS, I was talking to a Japanese guy about this just recently, bartender knows I daygame and asked if I had had any dates lately (I had been pounding this girl all day, who I'd met that morning, and had dropped her at the station on the way to the bar, had pussy juice all over my dick, though I didn't mention any of this), dude next to me commented how the girls in the bar were eating out of my hand... convo like this

Him: JP girls like foreign men
Me: true, although to a JP, no-one could ever be as good as another JP
Him: yes, but you are very handsome
Me: haha sure, but not next to you, you look like a fuckin rock star (it was true)
Him: anyway, JP aren't allowed to break social rules
Me: yes you are, have you tried it?
Him: but people expect foreigners not to know what to do
Me: I see, although everything I do with girls has a purpose
Him: so you honestly just walk around starting conversations with people?
Me: sure, they love it, makes their day more interesting
Him: but that sounds very difficult
Me: the only really difficult thing is I don't speak the language all that well, but it's a good way to improve
Him: but JP guys could never do that
Me: yes you can, you already speak the language, easy
Him: anyway, girls my age aren't that hot
Me: haha any age is fine, if she takes care of herself which basically all JP women do
Him: but you are so young
Me: I bet I'm older than you (turns out I'm 39, he's 32, haha)
Him: girls only want a young, handsome, fashionable foreigner like you
Me: dude, I'm older than you, not as good looking, fatter, and I have 3 sets of clothes and a travel iron in this backpack right here, and I barely speak the language... girls don't care about any of that stuff, it's only important to act like a boss
... I check my dictionary and coin the term "bosu no gyogi" (boss behaviour) and go on to describe it with examples ...
Him: I don't know...
Me: well look, (bartender) has day off on Sunday, if you're free then then let's all go talk to some girls, I will show you step by step
Him: mmm hmm (claims to be busy, bartender also flakes on me when I call by Saturday evening to confirm arrangements, claims he has to drink with some dudes...)

Bottom line, can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Luckily, that's not you, Stewart Rod

Your comments about women and sex are also typical for someone who hasn't applied GC material yet. Actually my current gf is a devout Catholic who has told me she must pray to God for forgiveness every time we have sex, because we are not married. And as she's begun to trust me more and more she's shown me an intensely sexual side. Particularly last night -- this even surprised me since I went into the relationship with some misgivings about her attitude to sex. Afterwards she shyly told me that she appreciates how I always find a way to make her orgasm even if it's not working for her, and even more shyly, that she would like to try giving me a blowjob if I am really, really clean beforehand.

Women LOVE SEX... even more than men! If it appears not so, it's because she does not trust you yet. Precisely what you wrote, is the kind of attitude that makes women think "you are not one of us" and therefore hide their sexual side.

Ray

Thanks for the reply,

I guess there aren't any Irish guys on this website.

Thanks for the vivid imagery of pussy juice on your dick, but the thread wasn't titled 'Dating problem with the Japanese'.

Women LOVE SEX... even more than men!

I'm guessing you heard that on GC.

I have tried approaching strangers (I wouldn't necessarily call it GC material though). During my time in the states, it was that little bit easier to talk to strangers... and a little can be a lot with this.

You don't know Ireland

 

[ray_zorse]

Hmm, I think the thread was titled "Dating advice with conservative Catholic women" was it not, and I notice you didn't respond to anything I said on that topic.

The points I wanted you to take away from my post were:
- Everyone thinks their culture is different, in every case I've looked at, it's not
- Even in a culture with incredibly strict social norms, GC material still works
- Girls in XXX culture are pretty much like any other girl, if approached confidently
- Guys are prone to making excuses and rationalizations why there's no point working to improve themselves
- Guys avoid doing stuff that feels uncomfortable (to them), even if someone else is doing it right in front of them
- The bottom line is not whether the material "should" work, but whether it works in reality -- hence the pussy juice image.

I was hoping that with a story in the third person "he this, he that, Japan this, Japan that ..." you would have more detachment and could appreciate the above points more easily, instead of "you this, you that, Ireland this, Ireland that ..." which might sound more accusatory. Anyway, draw your own conclusions, it's really no skin off my back. If I were you I'd be writing a hearty thankyou to sakbishop for his insights.

As a matter of fact I have been to Ireland and although I was not applying GC material whilst I was there, I certainly made a lot of friends without really trying, so I can say definitely that Irish in Dublin are very friendly, open people. So I would imagine that opening girls in the street would be no biggie at all. After the open I think it depends really on your ability to calibrate to the girl, one really can't generalize about culture.

Ray

 

[lao che]

I don’t think there are many Irish guys on this website, but in Ireland, hooking up is very much based around;

who your friends are, and whether you drink

as opposed to;

what are your achievements, and how much money you have.

it's the same for young people in England. if you don't do anything else.
hooking up is gonna be with your friends - probably mostly colleagues actually. hopefully some expanded social circle - with all the drama and gossip, bragging and embarrassments that come along with it. if you don't believe anything else is possible

believe me, i spent most of my early 20s way too drunk, going from pub to bar to nightclub, hoping i would 'get lucky'. trying, and sometimes succeeding, to fuck one of my "friends" or colleagues. but more often than not going home empty handed and waking up with significant memory loss, but a deep feeling of regret and embarrassment at my drunken behaviour.

you know who used to get laid the most back then? the designated driver. not the guy who was pounding enough booze to kill a rhino.

going out and not drinking, or, at least, only drinking one or two is attractive to a girl. girls actually really appreciate it if you can control yourself, not give in to peer pressure (like getting called gay or boring or whatever because you don't wanna get sloppy drunk) and be a fun, interesting guy without the need for alcohol as a crutch.


the other comments on here are spot on. yes, england isn't ireland, nor is japan. but game is game is game. yes, having something exotic about you, like being a stranger in a strange land, is an advantage, but being australian in japan doesn't mean hot girls just fall out of the sky onto your waiting boner. you still have to work at it.
the only reason i can think ATM why your situation is a little different is if you come from a small town. going out to meet girls in your own neighbourhood could be problematic. but, i come from a small town in england, there are thousands of girls a ten minute bus ride away in every direction.
in fact i never did anything like that when i lived in the UK - i was clueless back then and we didn't have the advantage of websites such as this. but i can definitely imagine myself now being able to talk to people in clothes shops or supermarkets or just at the park. in fact for sure me and my friends would talk to girls in the park before. one friend met his LTR there so ... you see! i just proved my point. and that dude is short and a quarter chinese ... and this was back in the mid nineties!

you have limiting beliefs, my friend. welcome to girlschase

 

[Chase]

Stewart-

One of our writers for GirlsChase.com, Alek, lived in Dublin for a year and reported it to be one of his favorite cities because of how easy he found it to pick up and get laid there. Alek exclusively does cold approach. I've also met a few Irish guys in my travels who honed their skill sets with women doing mixed warm approach and cold approach in Ireland. That said, Alek and the Irish guys I've met all have really great game and impressive fundamentals, and that kind of makes it easy anywhere.

(now, I'm not sure what town you're in. If you're in a small town of population 3,000 and there are 5 hot girls in town and they all have boyfriends, yeah... you're probably not going to get anywhere with pickup, or anything else other than playing the "wait and pray" game. If that's the case, I'd advise you changing locales toot suite, if solely for sanity's sake)

One thing worth considering, Irish guys I've seen in the States do tell me they have a much easier time getting laid there than they do back home. Part of that's the foreigner effect, but I wouldn't be surprised if the States is easier than Ireland. I know the States is easier than Australia, with the result being that the guys who get good in Australia are often lightyears ahead of their American peers in terms of how tight their game and fundamentals are. More competitive environment forces higher levels of improvement.

When you're in a tough environment (which Ireland may be - all my knowledge about it is second-hand), it just means you need to be smarter in how you invest your time and energy:

Navigating Highly Competitive Sexual Markets

Good luck. And report back. I'd be interested in seeing more stuff from more guys in Ireland... only have a few reference points myself and haven't visited yet.

Chase

 

[Estate]

How're ya Stewart Rod!

I'm Irish but I've been living in the States for a few years now. I knew about PUA years ago and yeah, it always felt "off" to deliver the lines in "The Game" to Irish girls. But over the past 2/3 years with the help of this site I've come on leaps and bounds.

Yes, I'm in the US but obviously I visit home and I ca at least give you my perspective.

- The "Irish girls are different" thing. Nope. I used think the exact same. Now don't get me wrong, there are certain personality quirks of Irish vs. America vs. anywhere else, but at it's core, people are people, women are women. This stuff works, I guarantee you. But focus on the fundamentals articles on this site, not learning "lines".

- The catholic shame thing? Nope. Look, it's 2015, and women like sex just as much as men. Women are not as forward in expressing it as men, that is universal.

- I have a few best buds I know since we were kids, we used go out drinking all through college with and we were AWFUL with women. After the last time I was home with the lads, on our last night, one of them said to me "When are you coming back? We have to go out meeting women like that again!". Honestly, we've had some of the most epic nights when I visit home now using all I've learned over in the States with Irish women.
One of the nights we were watching How I met Your Mother while pre-drinking and a guy who never approached a girl in his life spent the whole night playing "Haaaaave ya met..." with every girl who passed and it was so stupid it got TONS of girls talking to us. He was hilarious and having the best time I ever saw him have. He just stopped caring.

Ok so here's some things to think about:

- The culture DOES revolve around drink in Ireland. Guys WON'T talk to women until they're locked and sound messy. And they have NO game. It's purely relying on her being as drunk at 2am. I realized this is HUGELY to your advantage. If you've got solid fundamentals and can hold even a moderately decent conversation at 11pm without being pissed, you automatically stand out above EVERY other guy in the place. And at that time, they aren't even talking to girls. You have your pick of the bar.

- The bars in Ireland are REALLY well suited to this too. In Boston at least, unless you go to the douchey clubs, it's very much a sit at the bar and get "apps" setup. In Ireland everyone's standing and mingling. VERY easy to start conversation casually with having to elaborately "approach" across the room.

- About the "lines". I'll give you this one. The whole "I just thought you were cute and wanted to come say Hi" can flatter some American girls if they are interested in you. An Irish girl could well cock a smirk and say "Gooo waaaaaay with yourself, listen to yerman!!!". So just don't open that way. It's not about the "lines" or what you say. You can say anything. The point is, I've learned in America that bars are competitive, some guys DO have game without ever "learning it" online. They are forward and aggressive and say and do aggressive things. You HAVE to compete! In Ireland, the odds are totally on your side. Guys have no game, plain an simple, it takes 4 hours of drinking to get the courage to slur something stupid her way and hope it works.

- Day Game is an odd one. It's definitely more "normal" to "hit on" girls during the day here in the US. Having said that, drop all the canned lines. If you use some situational opener or just some kind of banter. It works a charm. I just think indirect game is your best option in Ireland. If you overtly hit on a girl up front, I agree, it's so rare, some girls don't even know what to do with it. I think the best course would be not to try and pull right there but find out where she's heading with the girls that night and get her number. From there, it's just social game and night game. Easy.

- To be honest, I think the last few times I've been home, the women in bars especially just seemed to appreciate that we could talk to them earlier in the night without being drunk. That we could chat and banter and be cool without being drunk. It all works to your advantage. Infact, the lack of competition at that stage of the night means you stand out a mile!

- What you need to work on is the articles Chase wrote way back, on fundamentals. These things are universal. If you're style, how you carry yourself and talk comes across manly and confident, you've got it in the bag. What you say isn't a big deal, you don't need to copy the lines verbatim from this or any other site.

I'm not really sure what else to say, I could probably go on and bore people. Haha. Anwway, the main point in all that was... it works. I KNOW it works, for certain. But every place in the world has it's quirks. Heck, even in the States you meet girls with all sorts of backgrounds and personalities you even begin to notice how what works for one type of girl, needs to be changed to suit another type of girl a little... but the core fundamentals are all still the same everywhere, I promise you.