Day game problems

[trilegius]

Ok guys,I started three days ago to hit the street cause my goal is to get rid of this approach anxiety that I have and I don’t want to waste more time.

So I succeed to get out of the house three days in a row which is pretty good because I am such a procrastinator so that is a little progress for me,but I realized I’ve got some problems.

I live in a city with about 147.245 people and the first issue I run into is that, it takes a lot of time of walking around until I find a girl that I’m interested in.I guess that is the disadvantage of daygame in a relatively small city.I’d like to know how you guys manage to not get in your head when you,keep walking around for such long periods of time?

I wanna tell you that I have no problem asking people for the time or direction,I get a little nervous but it doesn’t compare with the kind of nervousness that I get when I want to approach girls,and not just girls on the street.I also started in sales and I will soon start cold approaching on the street to get new prospects,I only did cold calls so far,I guess that will help a little with approach anxiety.
Another issue that kept me from approaching these three days,was that when I saw a girl that I liked there were other people around,like for example at the bus stop or in the park and also on the street of course.Now I understand that probably a lot of people won’t give a fuck about me approaching a girl,but still I have this internal resistance! I’d like to know how you guys overcome this one, it is a pretty big one for me!

I also run into girls that were talking on the phone or wearing headphones,fucking technology How would you guys handle these situations? Can you interrupt a girl when she’s talking on the phone?
And in the park for example there are very few girls alone,they are usually in groups of two or three.Now I’m a beginner, I can’t approach single girls yet,groups are out of my reach for sure.

And the last one,I don’t want to seem like I’m looking for excuses or something, and I asked many questions already,but what would you guys do when a girl that you like walks past you, and you failed to act because you were in your head or simply too nervous? Would you turn around and try to open her even if she passed you by?
I’m waiting for your advice guys and I also want to add that my fundamentals need some work too,but my social fundamentals need the most attention.I don’t really think that my looks get in my way,my fashion needs some work,and my voice too, it tends to crack especially when I’m nervous,I also stutter when I’m nervous.I will also try to go to other daygame venues like malls and library.Tomorrow I will hit the streets again,hopefully I’ll succeed to approach!

I’m waiting for your wisdom guys!!!

 

[Bboy100]

If you can't take action, you're probably trying to do too much all at once. Overcoming AA is like starting out weightlifting. You want to do lots of reps of very light weight just to get your muscle tissue used to lifting in the first place. Worry about making your muscles bigger later.

So in cold approach it would look like this:

Think of something you would be comfortable doing with a girl. Would it be just being in the same space as them? Making eye contact? Saying hi? Asking them how their day is going? Having a 20 second conversation? Opening direct (i.e. telling her she looks cute), doing something bold and unusual?

Wherever you are, push SLIGHTLY past that. So, if you're comfortable with saying "Hi", then maybe you would want to try to move on to "Hi how are you?". That's probbaly going to be ever so slightly uncomfortable. But still mostly manageable. Then, like I said at the start, do it a LOT. So do it with 20 or 30 women in one outing. It doesn't have to be hot women. You'll feel AA even with girls you're not attracted to. Once you're comfortable with "Hi how are you?" Move onto something ever so slightly more difficult. So it might be something like

You: Hi, how are you?
Her: Pretty good
You: Nice day out today isn't it?


Then you would go about doing that x20 or 30. Rinse and repeat this process till AA is completely gone and you can have any type of conversation you'd like. I struggled with AA for three years, and this was by far the most painless and effective method I've discovered.
Also, this might sound like a lot of work, but its really not. It usually only takes a couple outings to kill AA with this method.

As for the rest of your problems with the headphones and other people around and all that...that's all in your head. I used to have the exact same thoughts as you. I could write a whole essay explaining why those things are irrelevant and have you totally logically convinced. But unfortunately, that wouldn't help. Cause the thing is, you can't really think your way out of thoughts like those. The good news is, as you begin to take more action and push barriers, those limiting beliefs will disappear on their own.