Wolf said:
This is true and also hilarious haha.
- The million dollar question, but how to achieve this?
Fundamentals, experience/confidence and being her type
I've made a point of taking your advice by telling every girl I find her attractive or I like her... often a follow up to an indirect opener. Then I suggest we get to know each other, and I'll ask more casual questions whilst building up touch. However, I hit a plateau where I don't escalate touch beyond a certain point, likely due to risk of being rejected or causing a scene. I need to learn to get out of my head and be truly free from outcome. If Chase or any top artist were any of us for the day, they'd still be successful at leading, influencing and seducing. This shows the potential once mastered.
During the day, unless you're already on a date, don't worry too much about touch. You want to establish just enough touch so that it's not weird when you do it on the date and that you solidify a little bit of a connection. But you don't want to go any further than that unless you have a chance to go all the way with her then and there.
Helps prevent ASD and it's normal to touch a little bit when you meet a sexy stranger. But you don't want to become the handsy guy. I've had successful daygame stops where I didn't touch her at all (success meaning I got her out on a first date later, which is all daygame needs to do unless you can do a date then and there).
So I wouldn't worry too much about it until you're already on the date.
- Should my questions / statements be sexual based, as well as comfort ones? (Besides telling her I find her attractive).
I wouldn't. Just direct enough to let her know the reason that you're talking to her at all (you find her cute, stunning, your heart skipped a beat or even that you find her to be the most attractive creature you've ever laid your eyes on and you can't help but want to bend her over. Whatever the reason is, make sure it's authentic and that you honestly feel it, because then there's a much better chance that she'll feel it too.
After that, just do some get to know you stuff for 5 to 10 minutes or so and propose a date. If you know that she's free the rest of the day go for the date right then and there. If you don't know or are unsure, feel free to still go for it. Women like bold men. But if you know that she's got stuff going on then just propose a date later on down the line. Make sure to make it a specific date though, none of that let's get a coffee sometime so what's your number stuff. It's cool to propose sometime and let her build up some compliance and then go for a specific date, but don't leave it there.
Example: Even if you do say let's get a coffee sometime (acceptable as long as you keep going) and she says sure. Then if you already know she's free on Friday, suggest Friday at 2 pm or whatever time. If you don't know her schedule then ask her when she's free. You can also suggest multiple times and let her pick from them but I've never done that, I have always preferred to ask when she's free and go from there. That's just a personal thing and from talking to people that have done both they both work. Just choose your style.
After you get the date setup it's only natural to exchange numbers at that point. But if you schedule a date for later that day you might want to experiment with not getting a number, I've had success with this too (on accident I might add, I just forgot lol).
So yea, make sure that you have a real date setup when you walk away and the last thing you wanna do is get her number AFTER setting up the date.
- And do you suggest romantic lines (your eyes are windows to your soul), simple compliments (I love your hair, it's beautiful), or what I'd like to do with her? (I imagine your lips would be incredible to kiss).
That's a personal style question and all can work. Again, it's all about your personal style that is true to who you are and what you are feeling.
The most direct I've gotten on the approach is something like "You have an amazing ass" because that's more me. I love getting super direct but I like to save it for the date when we're already alone and I know that she's attracted to me. Once that happens I will sometimes get insanely direct with what I want in that moment in time.
Just telling a girl that you thought she was cute and you wanted to meet her works.
Hell, not being verbally direct will work as well. Just as long as you're direct in other ways, like your touch or your body language.
Sometimes I'll do over the top stuff because that's what I want to do in that moment. It's fun for me and it's true to who I am. As an example I love over exaggerating things when I'm with a woman, it's just fun.
Her: You're such a dork
Me: Oh my gawd! *clutches chest Fred Sandford style* Here comes the big one. Oh god! You're so mean!
Or even something like
Her: You're cute
Me: *puts hand to face and pretends to blush* oh god, stop it. You're making me blush, you know I can't handle all of this attention, stop it.
And I'm playful in my words and tone as well, which isn't as easy to demonstrate over text. But there's lots of inflection in my voice and it's suuuuuuuuper obvious that I'm just goofing around.
All true to who I am and works very well for me.
But if you were to catch the Wolverine doing stuff like that then he wouldn't ever get any pussy, because it's not true to who he is.
All of that to say that you have to find your style that's true to who you are and what you're feeling. But also feel free to experiment with different stuff until you find an approach and style that you can fall in love with.
- What's the best way to initiate holding her? And a kiss? These are now my main sticking points.
I don't bother much with holding her. But with the kiss my go-to is just to look at her in her eyes for a moment, put the tip of my finger on her chin and guide her face into mine.
Sometimes, if she just won't stop talking I will interrupt her and tell her that I haven't been paying attention for the last 30 seconds or so because there's a thought in my head that I can't stop thinking about.
Her: What?
Me: Kissing you, and then go for it
Women will make it abundantly clear if they don't want it. They'll jerk their head to the side, or back away or any number of things.
If she sits opposite first, it's easy to sit next to her, but if it's after and she sits opposite, likely the only way is to touch her hands / arms (hard if they're far), or move her to a dance floor / another room / bar / a walk outside if we finish our drinks. I notice many girls make plans after a date these days, so I should probably ask her plans early on into a date so it's clear how much time there is to escalate. And to likely start building kino almost immediately during comfort, as opposed to talking for the first few minutes without any touch. I may try mutual touch, where you place the girls hand on you. I also think I need to find healthier drinks, if I start having frequent dates, or do other things with some girls besides bars.
Sitting opposite is easy to get over. Just proceed into the date as normal for a little while, let her get comfortable. If it doesn't feel too forced then you can go for a hand hold or even just tell her "give me your hand". If she asks why you can tell her the truth, it helps you understand her better when she's speaking, or makes you feel more connected or whatever you wanna say. It's more important that you say it with complete confidence in who you are though, so if it sounds sappy then you'll probably want to avoid it if you're more of a beginner cuz it won't come off right.
Another thing you can try that I've done a few times, ask her for her hand if she's across from you or even if she's not and you need to break the touch barrier. She asks why and you just shrug your shoulders and say 'cuz' or 'iunno'. The way I've done this is to look at her eyes with a little smirk on my face and tell her 'cuz I want it'. Just make sure it's fun for the both of you (both of you being very important and took me a little while to understand in the beginning, it's not all about her).
Then start telling a story about something, or someone that you have a picture to go along with on your phone. If you can tell that she's really into you, tell her to come over so you can show her. If she's closer to neutral then just go over to her and show her. Boom, you're now sitting next to each other within 5 minutes of the date or whatever into the date.
Absolutely, there are some stunning women who use it... often due to lack of time or opportunity to meet someone. I've used it a lot myself. Though I feel the hottest women online are harder to get than in person, since there's a great deal of competition.
Without a doubt, but it also depends on your type of women. My type of women aren't the typical blonde bombshell types of women. I like them a little more hipster-ish that don't take themselves or life too seriously and the like. If they have an artistic pursuit of sometime all the better. So for me, it was easier to find those introverted hotties online than in person sometimes back in the town I was learning all of this in (twas small in comparison to where I am now). Luckily I'm in a bigger area and it's not so much of an issue.
But yea, all that to say that it absolutely depends on your type of girl and what type of man she wants. Varoon had a recent article that's not really wrong, but I don't think covers everything about online dating. It can work and be a real type of game, just the same as daygame or even nightgame. It all depends on what your type is and what her type is.
What I also don't feel gets a fair shake is the fact that even the blonde bombshells will be use online dating sometimes. It's just that they don't stay on it for very long (and the longer they use online dating the crazier they are, this is something that I have noticed). So when people say that only the crazies use online dating they're not entirely wrong. The crazies use it consistently. The hotties will get on a few times and leave, and probably come back a few months later or even a year later. The hotties are inconsistent, but the crazies are on there for a long time.
So you have to be fast and you have to photograph well.
I imagine this makes the mum or grandma feel good haha. An excellent technique.
To tell ya the truth I'm not sure what really happens in their minds. But I have noticed a trend (though I don't have the numbers to say this is a phenomenon that happens everywhere) where the mom's jump on really fast to be my wingwomen whereas the grandmas like to grill me first. Not sure if it's just age, or if it's because of a generation gap (so if I hit on someone with a really old mom would the mom still be on my side right away or would she need convincing?)
I suspect it's because of age, but I doubt I'll ever be able to say for certain
I agree that this is the best way to make it appear natural. Thank you, Regal Tiger!
No worries broheim, we're all here to help however we can
I'll do this. I realise "sticky eyes" is a good technique, where you turn your head slowly, pause a second, and slowly partially face the girl. Allow a slight smile to form gradually on one side of your face. Squint your eyes slightly whilst looking into her eyes deeply. And then slowly pan away, pause again, and finally look away and slightly upwards. It's as if your eyes are attached by glue. I understand in theory, however it's harder in a high pressure environment where you're thinking of conversation topics / the next move, or the girl is rushing to get away upon opening her. I assume if you move her for an instant date it would be easier.
Can't say for sure, honestly. Eye contact is something that I haven't played with much other than looking into her eyes for a deeper connection. The few times that I've noticed myself doing something with my eyes it's usually something that's just a part of me (like an over the top, uber dramatic eye roll, or even looking at her from the corner of your eyes with a smirk are the things that come to mind right away).
So when it comes to techniques, I only notice after the fact and since I'm in the moment and just something I do it's hard for me to break it down. So I would refer to Chase on that one who has mastered the art of breaking this stuff down.
Don't be, we all have busy times. I can tell even through a computer that you're a good person. I hope it goes well for you, buddy... I'm rooting for you!
Thanks
As an update, I approached a girl and 2 friends appeared. Despite this, I continued to touch her and made it clear I liked her. They were surprisingly warm to me and engaged in a fun conversation about honestly very little haha. The girl said she had a bf, but still looked at me and interacted / laughed a lot. She would only take my number, which I called her out on not texting. We hugged and I said she's lovely, kissed her cheek, and said to text as she won't regret it. Though unlikely, I felt some interest from her, so she may have a bf. And I'm pleased I was bold.
Sadly this is a part of the game my friend. You'll find women that are very into you, but life circumstances interfere and it's not always a boyfriend. There's a girl I met back in November that we just instantly clicked with.
We stayed in contact for a few months and she drove 3 hours to come see me. We ended up sleeping together but I think she regretted it as she started talking about God and all of that stuff. She also started talking about how she's always jumped from guy to guy. She was happy that we slept together but I knew that I'd never see her again. And she never responded to any of my texts afterwards.
So even instant connections can have life interfere, which is why GC is all about moving fast. Because life has a funky way of sticking itself in everybody's business and fucking shit up.
But it sounds like you're moving in the right direction and you will have successes. If she was into you then you're at the very least some things right and that's all you really need. The more you get yourself locked in and your techniques, styles and what have you locked down you'll get more and more successes.
You'll get there
I approached one woman directly with, 'Hi, I have to tell you I love your shoes, they look great on you'. I know I should then say my name and ask hers, but she thanked me and walked away too quickly. Practice makes perfect, and not every shot will hit (people vary). I tend to only approach directly if there are few people within ear shot, so I need to get out of my head more. I also need to make more statements than questions, add more opinion (I avoid it a bit to retain mystery), or allow her to talk more... the first was suggested by a girl I picked up today.
Most definitely want her to do most of the talking, especially in the beginning. Mixing in statements with my questions was one of the hardest things for me to work in, but just keep at it and you'll get there.
Statements are fun little connection things, I've found and allow you to release some of the pressure that question give. Like, you ask her about her passion and she mentions how she loves blank. If you love blank you can say no way me too! And even insert something you love about it. If it's something that you don't like you can still spin it around into a connection by telling her how awesome it is that she has a passion and that you know exactly how she feels.
If the conversation is going well, you can let it sit for a second and almost always she will feel compelled to ask you about your passion, or she'll be so excited she will launch into more about her passion. Both are good for you, especially when she notices that she's been talking a lot and turns around to ask you about your passion later.
After that you're free to go into it a little bit, mostly about how it makes you feel doing or reading or whatever it is that you love and then very quickly turn it right back around on her. How you like how she lights up talking about whatever it is that she likes. Sometimes you can even use that moment to go in for the kiss with the technique I talked about earlier.
Look into her eyes, pause and let the tension sink in for a second. Slowly move your finger to her chin and slowly pull her into you. It's a great way to solidify the connection a little bit and even get her more excited (just don't make out with her, that releases the tension). I'm talking about a 2 second kiss at max like what they do in the movies, except shorter.
This may sound weird, but I find that it allows me to really feel her passion and she can feel mine. Plus, it can have the fun effect of transferring some of that passion about her thing onto you. Just don't go overboard with the kiss and make sure to change the topic quickly.
I like to break off the kiss after a second or two, look her in the eyes and then ask her more about whatever it is that she was talking about.
On a positive note, I spoke to a woman for ages with an observational approach. She told me she's in a serious relationship, but went for a drink with me right there and then (I said another time, and she said she can now). We had a long interesting chat and I found a new bar to take girls to. She told me my approach with her was good (asking if you can hire the court or how it works), suggested if you feel good within yourself you come across better as you can often feel this vibe, and agreed to potentially be my wingwoman / try other bars, assuming her bf allows it. A very nice woman.
Sweet! Feedback like that, especially if it's by someone who can be that kinda honest with you is awesome!
Life holds many surprises and we will both move forwards and improve!
Glad to hear it, keep at it
