FR Daygame: have you ever got called out for an approach!?

[average_daygamer]

I was in my small approaching city today. I was planning to head to London but cancelled as for some reason I wasn't feeling it.

So instead I hit the gym and then the streets for some daygame. It was packed in my small city, I did 5 approaches today and backed out of a couple potential sets as well.

However, one thing happened near the end, when I went for my sixth approach which has only happened a couple of times before.

I was eating fizzy sweets and I just see this chick walking with a cleavage top. I thought to myself "come on, 1 more approach. You like boobs after all". So I went up to front stop her but got the distance wrong and kinda almost walked into her.

What can I say, I had been walking around for hours, it was sunny and I was tired and distracted from putting the sweets in my mouth.

She gave a shocked/disgusted reaction and lurched away a bit. Just as I dealt with the blowout a group of lads were walking past and one of them said "Yo, leave her alone G, fuckin' hell" to which I replied "You gotta shoot your shot" and walked off.

In the distance I hear the bro saying "what did he say?" His friend elaborates and says "He said you gotta shoot your shot" then the bro says "Yeah but not by walking into her".

Now this is a very minor incident and I was tired and caught off guard without enough time to coordinate the front stop.

I have had a couple worse incidents and this incident was minor, no aggression on either side, no hint of aggression, very minor.

But it got me thinking, some of the experienced players on here must have been challenged from time to time, I would love to hear them!

 

[StrayDog]

after reading a number of posts I am begning to wonder if perhaps you are not meant for a more direct style.

could be the reason you are getting these kinds of blowouts. coming across incongruent with your core personality.

it's just a theory. but have you considered doing a more indirect/sniper style game?

 

[average_daygamer]

after reading a number of posts I am begging to wonder if perhaps you are not meant for a more direct style.

could be the reason you are getting these kinds of blowouts. coming across incongruent with your core personality.

it's just a theory. but have you considered doing a more indirect/sniper style game?

I have thought of it, yes, but you need to be very creative with the indirect approach.

I actually don't like the direct appearance based compliment as I find it cringy and unimaginative.

But the problem is, I am not witty when it comes to thinking of what to say.

My personality doesn't like the idea of these compliments as they seem insincere. But what other reason could you give to stop a girl in her tracks and also not leave her totally confused as to what the interaction is about.

In this case it was more that I had to rush the stop without enough space more than anything.

 

[StrayDog]

But what other reason could you give to stop a girl in her tracks

Honestly, I wouldn't focus so much on street stops. Or at least while they are walking super fast. Maybe it's just cause I've never lived in a place with high foot traffic, but I've never understood why so many days gamers focus on street stops like this.

Personally I like super markets/stores/shopping centers/cafes/bars

I focus on approaching women who are not moving around too quickly, and I have an arsenal of situational openers.

You can do this in parks or on busy streets too, but you just have a different mindset than you would with street stops.

You think about approach angles differently, and where you place yourself and how you open. Or how you enter a space/move through a space. It's a very different approach. But one you get the mindset down it will probably be more congruent with your more introverted personality.

It's more of the "meet smooth" model, where you are aiming to make it feel as though you two just kind of crossed paths.


Then maybe every now and then I'll go a little more direct if I don't really see any other option. But that's rare. Also direct for me is more of a genuine compliment, than some canned line about how she's looking good.

Or maybe I'll just say something like "you seem like someone I'd like to meet really quickly". Something simple.


I rarely do street stops. Only when it feels perfectly right. That said, there are ways to be more indirect with a street stop.

I have thought of it, yes, but you need to be very creative with the indirect approach.

To a degree maybe, but not really. Once you have a handful of openers that work well in various situations, it's all pretty routine.

And I've done a lot of foot work for you so you don't have to

aside from my #1 shopping opener "I can tell you are putting a lot of thought into this decision"

There is also my nurse opener "I've got a quick question you can probably answer. Do different colors of scrubs have different meanings?"

or "do you get to pick what color of scrub you wear"

There's also a great opener for women wearing an interesting color
"I've got a quick question, what would you call this tone of blue?"

Then when she answers you can tell her it fits nicely with her outfit, or something of the short "ah, emerald green. well you wear it well. is this something you always wear or you were feeling particularly emerald today?"

then you can pivot into something like "oh yeah, it's amazing how wearing different colors totally effects how I feel that day" yada yada.

Some other opens

"congratulations on" fill in the blank. "congratulations on being the most laid back person on this park bench right now" and so on.

"I just want to appreciate" fill in the blank "I just want to appreciate how much you are enjoying this book right now"

"I can tell" fill in the blank "I can tell you are very comfortable under this tree right now. it looks like you found a good spot for yourself".

I have tons more openers but I can't exactly think of them right now

The main key to pulling off these openers is that you are doing the sort of self contained slow mossey (pace can vary) as though you are just taking in your environment, not really searching for anything, and then you just happen to notice her.

You open with your body turned away from her, and you turn your head to face her. You do the body rocking thing where you are signaling that you can walk away if the conversation doesn't land. Then as she hooks more, you turn your body more towards her.

But the problem is, I am not witty when it comes to thinking of what to say.

You don't have to be witty at all.

In fact, I had the opposite problem of being too witty. I would either go over girls heads, or become dancing monkey flexing how sharp my mind is.

I actually had to simplify/dumb down my game big time.

Instead of say that you have to be

A: observant
B: Simple to follow
C: be chill
D: know how to progress conversational topic/change threads

eventually you get a routine for escalating towards a number or what not.

so examples of all these

A: all of the openers I mentioned "I can tell you're really enjoying this spot in the sun"

or "I bet that's a great spot to people watch. you look like you're enjoying yourself"

you are simply observing and reflecting that back

so in conversation say she says she just got back from a trip to bali with her friends

"oh wow, that sounds adventurous. I bet you had a blast"

observant

B: that last example I gave about her trip sounding adventurous, simple to follow yes?

or say after you do the shopping opener and she says she's making sure she gets the right bread for her sandwiches. I might do something like

"oh yeah, I love putting a sandwich together. You get all the ingredients. Then you have to layer them right. then once you get to decide if you want to cut it in half or not"

Simple, yes? I am literally just talking about making a sandwich.

easy to follow.

This is true even when I'm being more flirtatious. Say she has hooked and there is some good momentum in the convo "you seem creative. I like that. creative people always have an interesting point of view. you might have to share some of that creativity with me sometime. I bet you have some good insights"

See, this is nothing too clever. It's very straightforward.

C: be chill. this is really just your presence. holding yourself relaxed. not talking too fast. reading her body language and not being invasive with yours. Only getting closer once she's receptive. That sort of thing.

D: progress the conversation. This just comes with time. You start to be able to recognize when it's time to move things forward, or change topics and such. You start to make a routine of it.

Over time you can start to work little flirtations in and do things to spike attraction. Ask for compliance that sort of thing. But you don't need a lot of frills.

In fact. I would avoid anything too fancy.


I don't know if any of this resonates with your personality. Maybe there is some other approach that might work better for you. But I do think that you need to switch your style to something that is a little more natural to your personality. I think that's part of why your are getting weird reactions.

You're trying to do a style that doesn't really fit you well. Women pick up on that immediately