Daygame interaction time and process

[ChrisXKiss]

I've generally looked into a number of infield daygame videos online and the respective processes of the people in them and one thing that I have always found strange compared to my real life experiences is how long these approaches last.

A lot of times it's something like a 10 minute chat and then a close. During this time of course you can run a full process of opening, teasing and flirting a bit, connecting over some things, qualifying her, hitting a high note and seeding a date more naturally.

What I have experienced though throughout my day is girls that just have to go somewhere. Whether it is work, meeting friends, catching a bus, they almost always feel busy. I'd say the longest daygame interactions I've had have been when she is waiting for something longer like public transport or a friend, when I jump in the public transport and we talk as we go to our stations, when she is having some sort of work break by herself, or when I start walking with her for a bit. These are the minority though.

I count as interaction time by the way, the time till the ask for a number or an instant date, so basically I am talking about girls who are not free for an instant date then and there. These I obviously invite to one if I have more time myself, but the ones that are not available immediately feel very difficult to run an organised game in 2-3 minutes top, in order to get a solid number.

I'm generally approaching in the city so maybe it makes sense that the girls are in the city because they have something to do there and not randomly, I just always wondered how you are supposed to apply a full daygame process in a fast paced environment.

The way I do things now is I open with some sort of compliment, if she responds I ask about her vibe now, and then I may make some teasing comment on it, a cold read about where she is from or how she is in life, I ask about her interests, qualify them and share something from myself that makes us similar and then ask if she is generally around and recommend we catch up some other time when we are both more free.

The thing is that all this feels like it has to be done very fast, so I don't have enough time to take a pause and let the tension build and the interaction take a breath. Sometimes it even feels I have to rush through all the steps if for example her bus comes in 1-2 minutes, and I don't want to simply go neo-direct.

I've had success with these kind of short interactions by the way, many numbers, a bunch of dates, some lays, what I am thinking about though is how to maximise what I get out of them. Because trying to prolong them when the girl is clearly going somewhere doesn't work and feels a bit uncalibrated.

Maybe it's about fundamentals mostly? That the girl is instantly interested so use the 2-3 minutes to build some comfort and show that you are normal enough to go to a date with. Or she will even stay a bit more by herself if she is not in a huge rush and likes you.

What I struggle to see is what techniques would be able to work with a girl that is not at least quite a bit into you from the get go, and would be applied in few minutes time with great effect.

 

[Atlas IV]

If she's in a hurry to get somewhere, it will feel forced if you try to rush through all that conversation stuff you mentioned.

I'd just go with one of the things you mentioned (e.g. an assumption about what she does or is doing), then something like: "Listen, I see you're in a hurry. I've got to run as well. But (I think you're very attractive and) I would love to grab a coffee with you sometime." (SOI optional.)

Straight to number close. Build some rapport over texting, then soft close her again.

Make sure there was strong eye contact and hold her hand a little longer with the handshake. That will be plenty enough to establish some sexual tension, even if it's only a 1-2 minute interaction.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

If she's in a hurry to get somewhere, it will feel forced if you try to rush through all that conversation stuff you mentioned.

Yeah that’s a good point I’ve also felt.

I didn’t want to obviously ask her out very fast without getting to know her a bit, but I guess trying to get to know her in this short amount of time is more uncalibrated than telling her to meet again faster.

Maybe the last part about what she is into is the strangest one to get into in this scenario. At least that’s what I have felt when I go for it.

Some light flirtation, and good first impression should be enough.

Straight to number close. Build some rapport over texting, then soft close her again.

This is also interesting. I had been trying to use Chase’s template and send a scheduler text but it felt very off with most of these women.

At the same time I have not found a surefire way to go for rapport via text and have them answer.

A lot of these numbers feel not invested enough to even start the texting.

Not sure how much more I can do game wise to get them invested enough in these 2-3 minutes, though.

Make sure there was strong eye contact and hold her hand a little longer with the handshake. That will be plenty enough to establish some sexual tension, even if it's only a 1-2 minute interaction.

I suppose this solid first impression is the most you can go for, together with calibrating your talk to the time you both have, so that it doesn’t feel rushed but natural.

I have been wondering a bit about eye contact in fact. Mostly how much you have to keep looking at her in the beginning.

I don’t have a problem to just look deep in a woman’s eyes generally, that said I have noticed that I tend to break eye contact to the side after the approach to release the tension and make her feel more comfortable with being approached by a stranger.

Not sure if this makes me look less masculine, the goal is to make her feel safer and open up to talk to me, and I have felt that going for a lot of eye contact right away shows too much intent and maybe even gets too intense for her.

Is this something we want in general? Maybe I have to warm up my eye contact can’t say for sure, I generally struggle with the balance of coming in smiling and open while staying masculine and sexual.

 

[isildur1]

If she’s in a rush I try and close on social media - instagram / WeChat then use the pics I have on there to build rapport along with texting - can be an optimal way to reduce flakes - along with stories

Don’t worry about the interactions being too short - I believe Paul Janka built his entire pickup career on short interactions , worry about the things you can control- fashion, opening with confidence , good social media and stories etc. will play a bigger role in your success

 

[Will_V]

I've generally looked into a number of infield daygame videos online and the respective processes of the people in them and one thing that I have always found strange compared to my real life experiences is how long these approaches last.

A lot of times it's something like a 10 minute chat and then a close. During this time of course you can run a full process of opening, teasing and flirting a bit, connecting over some things, qualifying her, hitting a high note and seeding a date more naturally.

What I have experienced though throughout my day is girls that just have to go somewhere. Whether it is work, meeting friends, catching a bus, they almost always feel busy. I'd say the longest daygame interactions I've had have been when she is waiting for something longer like public transport or a friend, when I jump in the public transport and we talk as we go to our stations, when she is having some sort of work break by herself, or when I start walking with her for a bit. These are the minority though.

I count as interaction time by the way, the time till the ask for a number or an instant date, so basically I am talking about girls who are not free for an instant date then and there. These I obviously invite to one if I have more time myself, but the ones that are not available immediately feel very difficult to run an organised game in 2-3 minutes top, in order to get a solid number.

I'm generally approaching in the city so maybe it makes sense that the girls are in the city because they have something to do there and not randomly, I just always wondered how you are supposed to apply a full daygame process in a fast paced environment.

The way I do things now is I open with some sort of compliment, if she responds I ask about her vibe now, and then I may make some teasing comment on it, a cold read about where she is from or how she is in life, I ask about her interests, qualify them and share something from myself that makes us similar and then ask if she is generally around and recommend we catch up some other time when we are both more free.

The thing is that all this feels like it has to be done very fast, so I don't have enough time to take a pause and let the tension build and the interaction take a breath. Sometimes it even feels I have to rush through all the steps if for example her bus comes in 1-2 minutes, and I don't want to simply go neo-direct.

I've had success with these kind of short interactions by the way, many numbers, a bunch of dates, some lays, what I am thinking about though is how to maximise what I get out of them. Because trying to prolong them when the girl is clearly going somewhere doesn't work and feels a bit uncalibrated.

Maybe it's about fundamentals mostly? That the girl is instantly interested so use the 2-3 minutes to build some comfort and show that you are normal enough to go to a date with. Or she will even stay a bit more by herself if she is not in a huge rush and likes you.

What I struggle to see is what techniques would be able to work with a girl that is not at least quite a bit into you from the get go, and would be applied in few minutes time with great effect.

Short interactions are fine. A lot of mine only go a few minutes. In fact, in some ways I think it comes across as more normal for her to run into a guy where you are both busy but you quickly grab the number for a better time, vs a guy who is ready to spend 20 minutes talking to a random girl on the street who has less free time than he does. The busyness disparity can sometimes be bad for the dynamic.

It also gives her a sense of anticipation - she got the dopamine hit of the approach but there wasn't time for much more, so she's at least curious to meet you, vs her meeting a guy who tries to cram a whole date's worth of getting-to-know-you into 10 minutes when her head might be somewhere else. Anticipation is always better than a low-quality experience.

I also believe that a woman knows within a minute (probably less) whether she wants to meet you again, and so there isn't a whole lot of need to work on her during the approach, as long as the structure is there.

The key things IMO are:

1. Maintain a fairly high energy.
2. Make sure you qualify her on something you genuinely like about her.
3. Express curiosity to get to know her more, and seed the date.
4. Frame it as if you have to run, not her.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

If she’s in a rush I try and close on social media - instagram / WeChat then use the pics I have on there to build rapport along with texting - can be an optimal way to reduce flakes - along with stories

Don’t worry about the interactions being too short - I believe Paul Janka built his entire pickup career on short interactions , worry about the things you can control- fashion, opening with confidence , good social media and stories etc. will play a bigger role in your success

Yeah I've heard of that guy, but isn't the idea that he was also extremely good looking? I mean for me personally I always felt that something was a bit off with his face but I guess the important part is how women see him.

And the thing is I don't use social media, I've had a facebook since some years with 2-3 pics, that I use to talk to some friends but nothing else. I still wonder how much difference creating and maintaining a proper instagram would make.

I dont' really care about doing it unless I am convinced that it will really improve my results. I have no interest in posting just to post, if someone needs to know what I am up to they will be close enough to me to know that.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I also believe that a woman knows within a minute (probably less) whether she wants to meet you again, and so there isn't a whole lot of need to work on her during the approach, as long as the structure is there.

This is a very good point that I tend to forget. In a sense I feel that I have to run a correct process for her to get interested in meeting again, teasing a bit, achieving some high notes, qualifying and closing smoothly, and when this does not organically happen, it's like I have to make these things work in this short amount of time. Because if I don't, it will be off, and she will feel that I only like her for her looks and we don't vibe well enough to meet again.

But really I feel that it is more about having the right energy, be normal and calibrated and not overtly try to make the interaction special. If it works out that you do more you do but you don't force them.

1. Maintain a fairly high energy.
2. Make sure you qualify her on something you genuinely like about her.
3. Express curiosity to get to know her more, and seed the date.
4. Frame it as if you have to run, not her.

The last part is important to remember. I tried sometimes lately to slow down the interaction, create some silence and a vibe, and she suddenly broke it off saying well I have to go. I still closed then and got the number, but no response after that, and I feel it is because of this dynamic that I didn't calibrate to how busy she was and she felt like I'm too eager to stay there without caring about her situation.

I want to ask about the fairly high energy though, how do you mean that? I suppose it's because if she is busy she needs something of higher energy to grab her attention, I just don't want to make it so that it's an obvious pick up, I've felt that it puts more pressure on her.

Maybe I just shouldn't mind and be more commanding, loud and expressive. I still have girls that don't stop and just keep walking, so I could focus on eliminating that.

 

[Will_V]

This is a very good point that I tend to forget. In a sense I feel that I have to run a correct process for her to get interested in meeting again, teasing a bit, achieving some high notes, qualifying and closing smoothly, and when this does not organically happen, it's like I have to make these things work in this short amount of time. Because if I don't, it will be off, and she will feel that I only like her for her looks and we don't vibe well enough to meet again.

There's a kind of structure that needs to be there, especially she needs to feel that there is something you genuinely like about her that you're interested to find out more about later. I think it's good to find a way to get to at least a couple of questions about her that go beyond what people would ordinarily perceive or be interested in about her, i.e. not just what she does for work but what sort of girl she is.

If your impression is strong enough, the shortened approach can feel like a sort of takeaway for her that leaves her very curious and hungry for more. Girls will often respond to the icebreaker very fast when a shorter approach goes really well.

But really I feel that it is more about having the right energy, be normal and calibrated and not overtly try to make the interaction special. If it works out that you do more you do but you don't force them.

Yes, being slightly more authoritative than usual (with a high positive energy) tends to work best in these shorter interactions, rather than trying to make it feel special. You sort of trade off a little bit of the romance of it for pure energy - because romance takes longer to develop, which is time you might not have.

The last part is important to remember. I tried sometimes lately to slow down the interaction, create some silence and a vibe, and she suddenly broke it off saying well I have to go. I still closed then and got the number, but no response after that, and I feel it is because of this dynamic that I didn't calibrate to how busy she was and she felt like I'm too eager to stay there without caring about her situation.

Yeah, sounds like a case of dissonance and lack of pacing, where she's still thinking about all the stuff she has to do while also trying to figure out who you are, while you are trying to make this slow seductive bubble, and the whole thing falls apart. You have to match her pretty closely in terms of energy. That's why you can come in to a girl sitting in the park with something veery chill and lowkey, but if you do that in the mall it's not gonna hook. People generally match their psychological state to the energy of their surroundings, so you have to be pretty close to that and gently take things where you want it to go.

I want to ask about the fairly high energy though, how do you mean that? I suppose it's because if she is busy she needs something of higher energy to grab her attention, I just don't want to make it so that it's an obvious pick up, I've felt that it puts more pressure on her.

Maybe I just shouldn't mind and be more commanding, loud and expressive. I still have girls that don't stop and just keep walking, so I could focus on eliminating that.

Yeah it's a subtle thing, you have to be relaxed but pacing her, matching her state. That way she immediately feels connected to you, like you are not something foreign to the surroundings and her expectations. Otherwise her immediate reaction is to avoid you as an unknown entity.

And if she's a busy person, coming across like a busy person yourself, taking the number and telling her you have to run but you'd love to see her again, can help to make her feel like you and her are on a similar wavelength, because you're basically embodying the same state she feels herself.

With girls everything is about synchronicity and rhythm. When these break, she feels confused, but when they're there, she's a happy girl.