Daygame interaction time and process

[ChrisXKiss]

No, the real difference is that older women are more confident, and therefore can handle a less confident guy, whereas a younger girl is less confident, so requires a guy who is more confident. If there are two anxious/uncertain people in any kind of interaction they will bounce off eachother, there has to be some center of gravity for attraction to occur.

Maybe this is just the uncomfortable truth that I have to accept, that I don't come across confident enough in my approaches, which pushes the younger girls away but lets the older ones feel at ease.

I surely don't feel this during dates though, or when I get to know girls more, I mean I don't think I come off as anxious and uncertain most of the times.

So it has to be about the energy I have when I approach. I am sometimes too focused on how to approach well, and get a good reaction and hook in that makes it look I am trying to get something out of the interaction and I am not confident enough. But the reason this happens is because when I confidently approach with a genuine compliment I still don't get good reactions and wonder what else to do.

I feel the the issue is that I do treat them in a way that feels incongruent with our difference in life experience.

There is an adjacent dimension to younger women I haven't mentioned yet. Which is that they need to know that you are aware of the gap and that you don't take it seriously, and the best way I've found to do this is to not take them seriously.

So this is something I should probably pay attention to. I do feel that when I can't take them seriously I don't enjoy them much in a way either.

The 21 year old I slept with last month for example, she was having quite a deep conversation with me during the date. I still had the general frame of being more experienced, explaining things to her and giving her some advice about how life is, but you could say that she was a person I took seriously because she was working with herself and had a unique approach to life, so I appreciated that and felt like wanting to take care of this little thing and help her grow.

But it is true that when I approach or interact with younger girls outside, most of the times I feel we are operating at different frequencies. I want to appreciate them as people, because I feel that even their playfulness and girliness has some unique depth that I love and want to explore, but it feels like that just the fact I am so interested to explore who they really are and their feminine potential feels too much to them initially.

So I'd say in the end that it's not that I deeply see them seriously or like people that are not silly and cute, I surely don't think they are above me because they are young and cute, it is just that I want to connect deeply and appreciate their yet unrefined energy, which is something that especially initially may come off as too serious.

I've got to really figure out the correct vibes to have when approaching and I think the rest of the technique will be fixed by itself, meaning the teases, the smiles etc.

Probably I should just accept that they are into grounded solid men that treat them like the cute little girls they are, internalise it, not try anything particularly fancy on top of it, just go in and play with it.

 

[Will_V]

I feel the the issue is that I do treat them in a way that feels incongruent with our difference in life experience.

What would feel congruent?

The 21 year old I slept with last month for example, she was having quite a deep conversation with me during the date. I still had the general frame of being more experienced, explaining things to her and giving her some advice about how life is, but you could say that she was a person I took seriously because she was working with herself and had a unique approach to life, so I appreciated that and felt like wanting to take care of this little thing and help her grow.

Well that's great, you're getting something of what you want in her. I also am attracted to younger girls who are ambitious and conscientious, I'm not really attracted to immature young girls with boring personalities even if they're hot. I'd rather do the seduction dance with a girl I find captivating in some way, where there is a more powerful intimacy.

I've got to really figure out the correct vibes to have when approaching and I think the rest of the technique will be fixed by itself, meaning the teases, the smiles etc.

Probably I should just accept that they are into grounded solid men that treat them like the cute little girls they are, internalise it, not try anything particularly fancy on top of it, just go in and play with it.

This is how I would do it. For every guy there is a way that works best. For me the game of seduction is a process of internalizing principles and becoming a man I want to be, which takes time and involves a lot of influences. That's why I'm not very good at offering specific techniques, though I try since they can be useful for grasping a principle, but the principle and the worldview is what matters in the end, that's what will stick with you and lift up other aspects of your life as well.

 

[KnownUniverse]

those teenaged chav/hood rat girls that walk around in track pants and sweaters are easy. I can look at them and they will come over to me. I know straight away those girls are "underage" because they are out on a friday/saturday night but they aren't dressed to get into any venues.


Some of them a pretty though--definitely model material but i prefer girls in their early - mid 20s.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

What would feel congruent?

This warm authoritative energy you mentioned. I feel I either approach in a grounded way and treat them warmly, but it feels like I treat them as equals, or I go in more playfully with a funnier vibe, and it looks like I try to be one of them when it doesn't fit.

I think my issue is what I described, that I have not really been in positions of authority in my life, so I struggle to grasp how exactly to treat someone in that way but keeping the warmth without making them autoreject.

Also when I approach a young hot girl that believes she is higher value and that everyone chases after her, how to show quickly that I am not like the other guys and it is worth it for her to stay and pay attention to me.

Because even if I believe I have a lot of value and want to evaluate them, which I feel is a good frame, often they don't even give me enough time to interact with them and they don't qualify.

At least that is the feeling I get, that the bigger the age and experience gap, the more you have to feel as the confident one as you mentioned, that tries to figure out if this cute girl is worth his time.

 

[Will_V]

This warm authoritative energy you mentioned. I feel I either approach in a grounded way and treat them warmly, but it feels like I treat them as equals, or I go in more playfully with a funnier vibe, and it looks like I try to be one of them when it doesn't fit.

I think my issue is what I described, that I have not really been in positions of authority in my life, so I struggle to grasp how exactly to treat someone in that way but keeping the warmth without making them autoreject.

Also when I approach a young hot girl that believes she is higher value and that everyone chases after her, how to show quickly that I am not like the other guys and it is worth it for her to stay and pay attention to me.

Because even if I believe I have a lot of value and want to evaluate them, which I feel is a good frame, often they don't even give me enough time to interact with them and they don't qualify.

At least that is the feeling I get, that the bigger the age and experience gap, the more you have to feel as the confident one as you mentioned, that tries to figure out if this cute girl is worth his time.

In my experience, the foundation for my sense of authority is to have absolute dominance over my reality. That means I'm not doing crap I don't like, I'm not lost or drifting, and I'm truly happy with the core components of my life - which to me is my physical and mental capabilities, and the path my life is moving forward along. If that's not all in good shape and I know it's my fault, then my whole frame simply gets weak.

It can be hard to regain that if you've spent a long time going somewhere you didn't really want to, but life is a training ground, you teach yourself every day to be who you want to be, and to have self-respect, by doing all the big and little things in such a way as to be satisfied with yourself.

If you never had a position of responsibility over anyone and it interests you, it's a good idea to find some opportunities. For example I think you spent a lot of time dedicated to study, maybe tutoring would give you a purpose of that kind in a field you feel dominant in.

I generally think that if you pursue your natural curiosities and proclivities, you end up more or less where you will be most happy and where you fit best in relation to other people. Removing inhibition is much more constructive than trying to create a new person out of nothing.