Daygame numbers going nowhere

[barneystin]

Hate to sound like a broken record here but i’ve been diversifying my game, doing more day game and online in addition to night game. Approaching a girl during the day is definitely more fun and thrilling and most of the time I have really good interactions - i even have girls giving me their numbers and telling me to text them but when I do, they don’t even respond to the opener

My usual opener is something like:

Me: My name (as soon as i get the number)
Me: it was nice meeting you! how did so and so go? (so and so is usually a callback to our conversation and i send this text when i have time to text after meeting them - usually like 1-2 hours after meeting)

I use a similar opener for night game but i’ve noticed that girls ghost most of the time. Recently, i had this text conversation with a night game girl i had a strong interaction with:

Me: my name
(next morning)
Me: hey pool girl, it was nice meeting you! how’s your day going? (we played pool together)

(No response for a day. At this point i’ve been getting ghosted by multiple other girls i had semi-strong interactions with so i got frustrated and double texted the next day)

Me: we should grab drinks sometime soon

Her: hey you cute but i’m pretty sure i could be your mom
Her: fun meeting you though

obviously the mom thing is an exaggeration. i’m 22 in nyc and most girls i meet are older than me.
But I noticed that she would have basically ghosted me if i didn’t go for the terribly-timed soft close and i would have assumed our interaction was as good as i thought

So i decided to start opening with the soft close (after getting them to agree to the date in person). I haven’t been field testing this for too long but it seems like i’m getting higher response rates

However i just had a girl i approached at a grocery store ghost on me after agreeing to the soft close over text so it seems like im back to square one


Our texting:
Her (me from her phone): <her name>, the cute Kiwi (she’s from new zealand)

Me: hey, it was nice meeting you

Her: Yesss!

Me: let’s grab that drink sometime soon

Her: Absolutely

Me: sweet, what’s your schedule looking like?

(no response)
Me, next day: hand wave emoji
(no response)

Me, 5 days later: if you’re too nervous, i’d understand

Not 100% confident in that last line, seems random and autistic but i’ve been watching a lot of Playing With Fire videos and it’s something he uses so i decided to try it out

Any ideas on what i might be missing? it’s frustrating having good interactions that go nowhere

 

[barneystin]

would have assumed our interaction was as good as i thought

*wasn’t as good as i thought

 

[Teevster]

There is a lot you could do better in your text - such as using callback lines - by referring to things you talked about in your initial interaction, or you could use intrigue "hey poolgirl, you have no idea what happened to me today" and bait her, and then tell her something cool. To me, your interaction seems a bit bland - just a dude building rapport.

But you are not doing anything wrong per se - you are just not doing anything right.

However, I think the right course of action is not to focus on bettering your texting, but instead focus on the foundation of your problems - your initial intection. See in most cases, whether or not she flakes is dependent on how good your interaction was prior to taking the number. If it was super spicy and perfect rapport, do you think you would have gotten as many flakes?

Unless anyone does anything blatantly wrong in their texting (which you don't), I think most of the time, the issue is not with the texting, but the quality of the numbers - did you colelct numbers from girls who were really compliant - that is, really interested in you?

This is the question that must be asked. If the answer is no, then there is your problem.

Focus on what happens before you collect the number. Focusing on textgame is in your case just an attempt at patching over a deeper underlying problem.

PS: Also for nigthgame, taking numbers is not the go-to because of how flakey they can be. Drop taking numbers during nightgame. It is a waste of time. After you take her number, she is likely to get drunk and be sucking some other dude's dick. You are forgotten on monday. I promsie you that.

-Teevster

 

[barneystin]

If it was super spicy and perfect rapport, do you think you would have gotten as many flakes?

what does a really good interaction look like? i think im doing pretty good with bantering and conversation. i’m introverted so i don’t really care much for conversation generally but i’ve put in effort to learn conversation techniques and i can pretty good conversation on dates.

idk if i can do more than that - at the end of the day, im not a clown focused on entertaining girls, i doubt that works too. The only thing that comes to mind as to why i’m not getting the results i want is that the girls might just not be into me but that also doesn’t make sense because they seem pretty into me while we’re talking

 

[Teevster]

what does a really good interaction look like? i think im doing pretty good with bantering and conversation. i’m introverted so i don’t really care much for conversation generally but i’ve put in effort to learn conversation techniques and i can pretty good conversation on dates.

What a good interaction looks like really depends, and the implied question here is way too general for me to write anything sensible.

The idea is not just having a good conversation - although that's the foundation, but you also need to go somewhere with it - not just "fluff" or "talk to girls". Are you stimulating her, are you setting useful frames? are you conveying attractive traits? are you building a connection (on a deeper level than "just getting to know each other)? If not, you are just fluffing and you are just some dude who chatted her up on the street whom she gave her number too.

Also introvert is not an issue. Some of the best people in this field are introverts.

idk if i can do more than that - at the end of the day, im not a clown focused on entertaining girls, i doubt that works too.

It works, because it stimulates and if you keep doing it, you can basically pull this way - it is a strategy. But not one that I personally like. It is also not a game plan suited for introverts. It can only work with extroversion and then to be a nightgame only thing (with the exception of Vince Kelvin lol).

That said, you still need to stimulate somehow - gladly there are other ways to stimulate. Stimulate is a mean to an end - it keeps her hooked. As she is "hooked" you get to set frames and convey attractive traits.

-Teevster

 

[barneystin]

are you building a connection

what does building a connection mean? what does it look like?

It is also not a game plan suited for introverts

Yeah it feels very incongruent when i do it so i hate trying to entertain. I definitely do the other stuff - setting sexual frames, showing attractive traits etc. It just doesn’t enough to get them to care after the conversation is over.

 

[Teevster]

Yeah it feels very incongruent when i do it so i hate trying to entertain. I definitely do the other stuff - setting sexual frames, showing attractive traits etc. It just doesn’t enough to get them to care after the conversation is over.

Best way forward is if you write reports detailing the interaction. Based on the info you have provided it is impossible to really say anything without shooting in the dark.

what does building a connection mean? what does it look like?

Generally, connecting on something personal, deeper and beyond the basic "just getting to know each other" level of rapport. Pacing, deep diving, elicitation of values, qualification, etc... are keywords to look into.

-Teevster

 

[Will_V]

Hate to sound like a broken record here but i’ve been diversifying my game, doing more day game and online in addition to night game. Approaching a girl during the day is definitely more fun and thrilling and most of the time I have really good interactions - i even have girls giving me their numbers and telling me to text them but when I do, they don’t even respond to the opener

My usual opener is something like:

Me: My name (as soon as i get the number)
Me: it was nice meeting you! how did so and so go? (so and so is usually a callback to our conversation and i send this text when i have time to text after meeting them - usually like 1-2 hours after meeting)

I use a similar opener for night game but i’ve noticed that girls ghost most of the time. Recently, i had this text conversation with a night game girl i had a strong interaction with:

Me: my name
(next morning)
Me: hey pool girl, it was nice meeting you! how’s your day going? (we played pool together)

(No response for a day. At this point i’ve been getting ghosted by multiple other girls i had semi-strong interactions with so i got frustrated and double texted the next day)

Me: we should grab drinks sometime soon

Her: hey you cute but i’m pretty sure i could be your mom
Her: fun meeting you though

obviously the mom thing is an exaggeration. i’m 22 in nyc and most girls i meet are older than me.
But I noticed that she would have basically ghosted me if i didn’t go for the terribly-timed soft close and i would have assumed our interaction was as good as i thought

So i decided to start opening with the soft close (after getting them to agree to the date in person). I haven’t been field testing this for too long but it seems like i’m getting higher response rates

However i just had a girl i approached at a grocery store ghost on me after agreeing to the soft close over text so it seems like im back to square one


Our texting:
Her (me from her phone): <her name>, the cute Kiwi (she’s from new zealand)

Me: hey, it was nice meeting you

Her: Yesss!

Me: let’s grab that drink sometime soon

Her: Absolutely

Me: sweet, what’s your schedule looking like?

(no response)
Me, next day: hand wave emoji
(no response)

Me, 5 days later: if you’re too nervous, i’d understand

Not 100% confident in that last line, seems random and autistic but i’ve been watching a lot of Playing With Fire videos and it’s something he uses so i decided to try it out

Any ideas on what i might be missing? it’s frustrating having good interactions that go nowhere

Completely agree with @Teevster, this is very likely about the interaction and not the texting. And you should really write field reports.

My sense here is that you're doing daygame like it's nightgame when they aren't the same at all. With night game there's already an atmosphere of sexuality and girls are hot and ready and often just want to find someone for the night. With daygame that isn't there, so you have to build a context for you and her being together. And that's through connection.

The way I do this is to quickly find out things about her, things about her identity and what sort of girl she is, that most other people - even her friends - don't know. Just by revealing those things she becomes invested in you and feels connected to you. And then qualify her on them, i.e., tell her why you like those things. Now there is a context for things - you like her for X, Y, and Z reasons.

Also, talking about yourself a bit is usually best as well, it's easy to go into interview mode and forget that it's a two way street.

Girls ghost often because in the moment they feel great talking to you, but later on there is a bit of a drop in energy and they're wondering 'who was that guy, I don't even know him, maybe he's a <insert some dark shit she saw on netflix>, I'm not so keen on this'. Because there is a lack of connection and you're just some rando, it's easy for her to skip it.

 

[average_daygamer]

There is a lot you could do better in your text - such as using callback lines - by referring to things you talked about in your initial interaction, or you could use intrigue "hey poolgirl, you have no idea what happened to me today" and bait her, and then tell her something cool. To me, your interaction seems a bit bland - just a dude building rapport.

But you are not doing anything wrong per se - you are just not doing anything right.

However, I think the right course of action is not to focus on bettering your texting, but instead focus on the foundation of your problems - your initial intection. See in most cases, whether or not she flakes is dependent on how good your interaction was prior to taking the number. If it was super spicy and perfect rapport, do you think you would have gotten as many flakes?

Unless anyone does anything blatantly wrong in their texting (which you don't), I think most of the time, the issue is not with the texting, but the quality of the numbers - did you colelct numbers from girls who were really compliant - that is, really interested in you?

This is the question that must be asked. If the answer is no, then there is your problem.

Focus on what happens before you collect the number. Focusing on textgame is in your case just an attempt at patching over a deeper underlying problem.

PS: Also for nigthgame, taking numbers is not the go-to because of how flakey they can be. Drop taking numbers during nightgame. It is a waste of time. After you take her number, she is likely to get drunk and be sucking some other dude's dick. You are forgotten on monday. I promsie you that.

-Teevste

I clicked on this thread initially because I also struggled with daygame flakes.

On my big pre Christmas push, I must have done hundreds of approaches and racked up 7 numbers and gave my number out once.

And out of them, about 4 didn't reply to my initial texts and 3 replied once or twice.

Anyway, on to night game (supposedly easier), there are a lot of hotties out, but they are preoccupied with going to a venue to drink alcohol and be loud and annoying. I don't go to venues because I don't drink alcohol, so what is there for me to do there?

So how do you approach? What do you say?

I find the compliment on appearance doesn't really land as they already know and expecting it. So what should I be doing? Asking if I can tag along? What would I talk about? That's why, even in nightgame, my end goal is always the phone number. But even recently I haven't been getting in interactions enough to even get to that part.

The last bus leaves to my home town at 11pm, so I can't stay any later until they get drunk enough to want to engage in male to female activities.

So what are my options for getting my first lay, or even any male to female activity? Because at this point, it looks like it will never happen.

 

[isildur1]

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getting the social media will keep the woman in your loophole for longer and you can re-hook dead sets - by only going for the number you're leaving yourself more vulnerable to being flaked on in the long term.

try closing on instagram, wechats (if theyre from nations that use them)

what are you photos like? are they enticing , creating excitement etc.

 

[KnownUniverse]

I had a ladyboy hit on me the other night at a bar. I couldnt tell at the time if it was a ladyboy or not. I'm not in asia so they are very rare here but i realised after talking to my friends nearby that it was. I gave her/him my number and instagram at the time.

Her/his textgame went like this:

her/him: hi?
me: hey, watsup.
Her/him: we met yeah?
I don't respond
her/him: (double text) can you send me your photo. (tripple text) haha.

Then he/she sent me a insta follow request and i blocked her/him.

I had no attraction to them after discovering they are a ladyboy yet i still responded the next day to their ping. Maybe i was open to see if they had anything interesting to say but the more they spoke the less desire i felt to interact and started feeling put off.

Who knows - maybe if they had the right game i could've been convinced into letting them blow me or something. All i know is that sending weak messages to someone you're chasing will only drive them away and make them lose respect for you.

 

[Teevster]

I had a ladyboy hit on me the other night at a bar. I couldnt tell at the time if it was a ladyboy or not. I'm not in asia so they are very rare here but i realised after talking to my friends nearby that it was. I gave her/him my number and instagram at the time.

Her/his textgame went like this:

her/him: hi?
me: hey, watsup.
Her/him: we met yeah?
I don't respond
her/him: (double text) can you send me your photo. (tripple text) haha.

Then he/she sent me a insta follow request and i blocked her/him.

I had no attraction to them after discovering they are a ladyboy yet i still responded the next day to their ping. Maybe i was open to see if they had anything interesting to say but the more they spoke the less desire i felt to interact and started feeling put off.

Who knows - maybe if they had the right game i could've been convinced into letting them blow me or something. All i know is that sending weak messages to someone you're chasing will only drive them away and make them lose respect for you.

This is freaking legendary.

Thanks for sharing.

Worst part is that the texting game from the transwoman is really top notch. Using open loops and curiosity to trigger a response. This is so clever.

Fun fact - my experience has been that transgenders tend to have a higher social intelligence than most people - and I think this is due to many reasons:
- Most work in social jobs - escorting, nigthclub hosts, performers, connectors, tiktokers, influencers, etc. These are jobs that force them to really developpe social skills
- Most are excluded from "standard" social gatherings - hence feeling excluded all their life, they make up for it with pristine social skills - similar to the tale of the PUA.
- Most live at night and live for and through their connections. They are ofte well connected in key avantguard circles, making them really socially savy (talking here about the "high end" trans).
- Most have to compensate for not being born a woman in order to attract straight men.

Now all these factors may not always be prevalent in all cases, but it suffices that 2-3 of them to be present for them to developp pristine social EQ.

PS: I am not here referring to some fat crazy cross-dresser with blue hair, but a transgender that really is TRANS, like going all the way in their transition and looking more or less like a woman. Too many gay men use the trans label to "score" social justice points. It is lame. These are not trans but histrionics.

-Teevster