Daygame-tell how old the girl is before approaching?

[average_daygamer]

Lads, 7 years in the game and this is a consistent problem.

How do you tell how olds girl is before you approach her?

I know this is a US based forum, and I have no idea what your high streets are like, but here in the UK there is a constant stream of mid teenaged girls walking up and down.

If you mix in girls in their 20s wearing the same clothes, it becomes impossible to know their age before running in front of them and stopping them. That is if you use the policeman style stop approach, which I am too afraid to use when I don't know how old the girl is.

This results in very inconsistent approaches on younger girls consigning bold approaches to nightgame only for the younger age category.

Since the small city (population <200k) that I approach in has two universities, I normally walk alongside and ask them if they happen to be at uni.

However this is of course flawed as not every 18+ girl goes to uni, some could still be at college in their late teens to early 20s. But most college students are 16-18 which is underaged. Also most average towns don't even have a uni so the opener wouldn't make as much sense but I suppose they could be at uni elsewhere.

To this day, I am not aware of a reliable way to filter for 18+ in daygame. Another indicator are tattoos (which I hate) but you do need to be 18 to get a tattoo in the UK.

But other than these tactics there really isn't anything. I know the sky won't fall in if I approach underaged but I would rather avoid it.

I have seen some stupid advice over on the seduction sub Reddit which is something like "bro, just go up and ask how old they are" which is of course the very thing we are trying to avoid! Asking random female strangers how old they are is almost as bad as simply stopping them in the street and telling them they look hot, hehe.

 

[Jacksonville01]

I run into this situation often and it’s not a big deal. The only real way to know how old she is… is by going up and talking to her.

Sometimes I just approach and ask directly how old she is. Other times, I use my opener and ask after. If she’s underage, she’ll usually tell me straight away.

If that’s the case, I just apologize, say I thought she was older, wish her a good day, and walk off.

It’s even happened in front of a girl’s mum once — and another time in front of who I think was her older sister and it was cool.

Most of the time, they seem flattered that someone approached and are just glad you didn’t try to carry on after finding out she’s too young.

 

[average_daygamer]

As I said, in a big city, it is not a big deal. Obviously word gets around in a smaller place which is best avoided. So do you do a full front stop? Again, in London where you game, it's not really a huge deal, if you can handle the cringe.

 

[Jacksonville01]

The only thing i can think of is having an indirect opener that makes them reveal that they are of drinking age or something.

 

[average_daygamer]

I had this problem again today. The sun was out and it was warm.

There were a few potential sets where I was very confused about the girl's age.

A couple of different sets with the girl wearing knee high boots and mature looking fashion but their stature and faces looked young. And I got the irrational fear that they were going to say they were 15 and just experimenting with fashion or a weird scenario I hadn't considered.

They were going up ahead and I tried following and drawing parallel to look over but by doing so felt creepy and thus in my head and aborted the approach.

Another one in a mini skirt who's friend I had just witnessed buying alcohol from a mini supermarket so I know they were 18 but due to all the younger girls around put me off and I was afraid people would think the mini skirt was a school uniform skirt!

Yes, the paranoia was high for some reason today. Whereas some days I am feeling much more opt

 

[Aussiedude]

I've approached a few girls who were 16 - 17. They didn't really care, some were pretty receptive lol. Either they told me their age and I was like oh ok, thought you were older. or they were pretty keen to give their insta and I can tell from their insta pictures. Wasn't a big deal.

Although doesn't happen too often, as the biggest tell by far is how they dress. It's always very teenagery.

 

[Will_V]

I had this problem again today. The sun was out and it was warm.

There were a few potential sets where I was very confused about the girl's age.

A couple of different sets with the girl wearing knee high boots and mature looking fashion but their stature and faces looked young. And I got the irrational fear that they were going to say they were 15 and just experimenting with fashion or a weird scenario I hadn't considered.

They were going up ahead and I tried following and drawing parallel to look over but by doing so felt creepy and thus in my head and aborted the approach.

Another one in a mini skirt who's friend I had just witnessed buying alcohol from a mini supermarket so I know they were 18 but due to all the younger girls around put me off and I was afraid people would think the mini skirt was a school uniform skirt!

Yes, the paranoia was high for some reason today. Whereas some days I am feeling much more opt

The issue you have here is that you think it's wrong to approach a girl and then find out she's too young. It's not wrong, it's just a part of life, girls don't have their ages written on their foreheads.

I suggest simply visualizing a good way to react to the news, such as "Oh ok, you're a bit young for me, have a nice day!" smile and walk off. And then approach every girl you want to, and if she turns out to be too young, do the thing. That's you expressing yourself honestly and openly, without ill intentions.

Especially when you find yourself repeatedly in a situation that messes with your head, I've found it's usually best to stop thinking tactically and strategically, and simply express yourself as innocently and openly and straightforwardly as you can. That way, even if it's not as smooth, it'll usually be received well, and will give you a sense of where the right path lies.

Another thing to note is that the act of going up to a girl and talking to her is not some kind of explicit sexual act in itself, it's simply an attempt to open communication, to enjoy her presence and beauty, to find out something about her. Opening a conversation with a girl who you thought was older, but turns out to be too young, is not a crime, any more than starting a conversation with a guy makes you gay. There's plenty of time in the beginning of any conversation to establish where the set of possibilities lies for where things may or may not go, before intention really comes into it. If you're having trouble with this, I would suggest you're probably going too direct.

Don't be afraid of your sexuality, but differentiate it properly from your actions. There is a big difference between having a residual sexual presence, the part of you that spontaneously stirs at the sight and smell of the feminine, and taking intentional sexual action. The former is continuously a part of you, it cannot be turned off, it pays no heed to social rules, and it is more or less at play during every interaction with every female who has been through puberty, regardless of your relationship, in your entire life. The latter is within your control, guided by conditioned behavior, social rules, and personal ethics. When you simply approach a girl to talk and find out about her, it's the former. When you take action toward taking her to your bedroom, it's the latter. Things should begin with the former, and only when you've established to yourself that everything is fine and that she's someone you want to and intend to lead toward your bedroom, should the latter come to the fore.

 

[average_daygamer]

I've approached a few girls who were 16 - 17. They didn't really care, some were pretty receptive lol. Either they told me their age and I was like oh ok, thought you were older. or they were pretty keen to give their insta and I can tell from their insta pictures. Wasn't a big deal.

Although doesn't happen too often, as the biggest tell by far is how they dress. It's always very teenagery.

That's the trouble though, I find they all tend to dress the same.

The issue you have here is that you think it's wrong to approach a girl and then find out she's too young. It's not wrong, it's just a part of life, girls don't have their ages written on their foreheads.

I suggest simply visualizing a good way to react to the news, such as "Oh ok, you're a bit young for me, have a nice day!" smile and walk off. And then approach every girl you want to, and if she turns out to be too young, do the thing. That's you expressing yourself honestly and openly, without ill intentions.

Especially when you find yourself repeatedly in a situation that messes with your head, I've found it's usually best to stop thinking tactically and strategically, and simply express yourself as innocently and openly and straightforwardly as you can. That way, even if it's not as smooth, it'll usually be received well, and will give you a sense of where the right path lies.

Another thing to note is that the act of going up to a girl and talking to her is not some kind of explicit sexual act in itself, it's simply an attempt to open communication, to enjoy her presence and beauty, to find out something about her. Opening a conversation with a girl who you thought was older, but turns out to be too young, is not a crime, any more than starting a conversation with a guy makes you gay. There's plenty of time in the beginning of any conversation to establish where the set of possibilities lies for where things may or may not go, before intention really comes into it. If you're having trouble with this, I would suggest you're probably going too direct.

Don't be afraid of your sexuality, but differentiate it properly from your actions. There is a big difference between having a residual sexual presence, the part of you that spontaneously stirs at the sight and smell of the feminine, and taking intentional sexual action. The former is continuously a part of you, it cannot be turned off, it pays no heed to social rules, and it is more or less at play during every interaction with every female who has been through puberty, regardless of your relationship, in your entire life. The latter is within your control, guided by conditioned behavior, social rules, and personal ethics. When you simply approach a girl to talk and find out about her, it's the former. When you take action toward taking her to your bedroom, it's the latter. Things should begin with the former, and only when you've established to yourself that everything is fine and that she's someone you want to and intend to lead toward your bedroom, should the latter come to the fore.

That's...deep.

But no matter how much you rationalise it, in the heat of the moment, in my daygame city, when my feet are on the ground, it doesn't help.

Just before catching the bus back home, I saw this semi goth girl whom I thought was at uni and had some quite adult looking attire, let's say.

Specifically a red thong pulled up higher than her jeans.

But when I looked back considering the approach, I noticed she was wearing a faded Spiderman backpack, which, in the heat of the moment, made me think "teenager".

And you know how teenagers dress and wear provocative adult fashion as well. So that put me off the approach.

So as much as you or I rationalise it, it simply doesn't help in the heat of the moment.

I could have asked if she was at uni, I guess. But the situation, in the few seconds it took for the sexy semi goth to disappear into the distance, made it impossible.

It's weird how no-one on here can relate, hehe.