Dealing with aggressive guys coming on to your girl (rednecks, lower class etc.)

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Now I hate to single out any social group but what I have found is that rednecks and men from lower class areas in general (ghettos) are different when they come on to your girl or pick a confrontation with you. Quite a few I have witnessed for myself will actually start touching your girl right in front you, ignore you when you are there, and if it escalates will throw the first punch.

One of my friends is a somewhat nerdy asian guy who is dating this cute redhead and a few days ago I was sitting with him at a restaurant. This black guy with tattoos who looked like he was right out of a rap video (doo rag, chains, baggy clothes, etc.) started hitting on my friend's girlfriend. So my friend put his arms around his girlfriend but this guy does not get the message at all, he keeps going with the smile on his face and he starts touching the girl's thighs.

Now this guy was pretty muscular so my friend cut in and started talking to his girlfriend anyways but this guy does not get the message and he raises his voice to get the girl's attention. So my friend's girlfriend is ignoring him but the guy keeps on talking and getting touchy with her. My friend's girlfriend asks him to stop doing that but the guy replies with something like "baby why u gotta do that? you with jackie chan over there now". Then my friend calls the guy out and says "he's black so he can be a racist" out loud. Restaurant staff intervene and it gets resolved with the guy storming out angry.

This isn't the first time though, I notice that guys from lower class background in the US are usually more aggressive, looking for a confrontation, and more bigoted too (whether they are rednecks or some guy from the ghetto).

Now I grew up around some of these guys in Kansas but back then I didn't have experience with girls.

Given that a lot of these guys:

- usually have nothing to lose (have been to jail a few times)
- are looking for a confrontation
- will likely hit you or use violence

these aren't your normal AMOGs or whatever you call them. So how would a guy who is well off and has something to lose deal with guys like these coming on to his girl?

 

[Franco]

Re: Dealing with aggressive guys coming on to your girl (rednecks, lower class e

Proactivity,

Generally, I pay no attention to what guys do to my girl unless my girls asks for my help or starts giving me the "help me!" look. It's best just to let her try to handle it first (if she's willing), and then if she asks for your help, you have to be calm, BUT you have to man the fuck up and say something like, "Hey, my girl is calling me over here because you're bothering her. What's the problem?"

You absolutely want to point out the fact to him that YOUR girl had to call YOU over because HE was bothering her. This makes him look awkward and creepy, and it's usually enough for him to back off, especially if your girl looks pleased that you said it. It shows him that she values you standing up for her, and that she appreciates you as a man.

If remaining calm and rationally pointing out to him what he's doing wrong isn't enough to humiliate him, you need to raise your voice to a level where everyone else in the vicinity can hear you. Once the guy realizes that all eyes are on him, he'll be even MORE likely to back off. If at that point he still doesn't back off, you need to hold your ground and stare firmly at him until someone intervenes (like with what happened to your friend). I would say that 99 times out of 100, someone will intervene before something serious happens, but be prepared to properly defend yourself if the guy decides to throw a punch.

SUMMARY: The idea is to try as best as possible to make the confrontation very public so that there are witnesses and people seeing what's about to happen. The more of a public spectacle it feels like to him, the more he begins to worry about what will happen if he makes a violent move.

- Franco

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Re: Dealing with aggressive guys coming on to your girl (rednecks, lower class e

true but what if you are dating a girl that is usually shy and kind of afraid to speak up especially if the guy is intimidating looking? (doesn't come down to race at all, I am talking guys who are muscular with tattoos and look like they can fuck you up, could be a skinhead, gang member, or anything)

 

[Franco]

Re: Dealing with aggressive guys coming on to your girl (rednecks, lower class e

true but what if you are dating a girl that is usually shy and kind of afraid to speak up especially if the guy is intimidating looking?

Believe me, if your girlfriend is nervous, she'll make some effort to get your attention for help.

The strategy remains the same. The only other thing I can recommend is that you don't go to locations where guys like that will show up. I try to avoid taking my girl anywhere where she could be in serious danger. Also, if you have the time and patience, you can start taking self-defense classes for some confidence (and maybe even convince your girl to do the same).

EDIT: You can carry a pocket knife around with you if this is really a huge concern, but I'm always cautious about carrying a potential weapon on me because things could potentially get nasty. It's best just to avoid locations with guys like this.

- Franco

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Re: Dealing with aggressive guys coming on to your girl (rednecks, lower class e

as always, thank you franco

I don't know how I would have reacted in my friend's situation TBH

 

[Drck]

Re: Dealing with aggressive guys coming on to your girl (rednecks, lower class e

It's true, they have nothing to lose. They also have bigger balls (and bigger muscles), and they are loud. They are not afraid and they are assholes. They are dominant. They also have lots of confidence. Nice Guys are having very difficult time dealing with them, they can't fight them and many times they can't find balls to be assertive either.

And they are very attractive to girls too, just because of all of that, because nobody dares to fuck with them...

Thus, if you have no muscles, no confidence, no dominance, no assertiveness and no balls - you will be always perceived as the weaker one, and although she will never admit it, she will always secretly desire that stronger man... Man who takes over without asking, man who ravishes her without feeling sorry for her, man who does what he wants and thus swipes her from her feet...

I'm not saying that we all should become rednecks, but there is lots of to learn from these guys...

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Re: Dealing with aggressive guys coming on to your girl (rednecks, lower class e

It's true, they have nothing to lose. They also have bigger balls (and bigger muscles), and they are loud. They are not afraid and they are assholes. They are dominant. They also have lots of confidence. Nice Guys are having very difficult time dealing with them, they can't fight them and many times they can't find balls to be assertive either.

And they are very attractive to girls too, just because of all of that, because nobody dares to fuck with them...

Thus, if you have no muscles, no confidence, no dominance, no assertiveness and no balls - you will be always perceived as the weaker one, and although she will never admit it, she will always secretly desire that stronger man... Man who takes over without asking, man who ravishes her without feeling sorry for her, man who does what he wants and thus swipes her from her feet...

I'm not saying that we all should become rednecks, but there is lots of to learn from these guys...

swear you have some sort of a cuckold fetish

 

[Estate]

Re: Dealing with aggressive guys coming on to your girl (rednecks, lower class e

I find this happens in the States a lot, not with any particular group of men.

I can go to a bar with male friends and not be bothered all night.
If I go to a busy bar with a girl though, she'll be bumped, grabbed, grinded while I'll be pushed, shoved, drinks spilled ---- "Oh sorry Bro, didn't see ya there!".

A piece of "Bro-code" we always knew growing up was that you just don't mess with another guys girl. like if you see a couple at a bar, if you approach or make moves on her, you'll be swiftly taken outside and have your ass kicked. It's just not what you do. Here though, I can pretty much guarantee that if I leave to go to the bathroom, the bar or wherever for even a second, she'll be hit on by the nearest guy. Funnily enough, he'll stand there next to us and won't make a move except the elbows and nudging to me until I actually move away.

I feel it all comes from insecurities but it's pretty standard procedure around here. I usually ignore it as much as possible. It seems like a cop-out if the guy is being particularly agressive but they usually like the reaction, then essentially do what would be known as "amog" in old PUA circles... they get you all hot and bothered, they'll smile and keep their cool and make you look like the ass instead of themselves.

If they are being particularly annoying I stop ignoring them and go in super friendly.... turn grab them for a needlessly strong handshake... if he's chatting to my girl.. "Oh, how do you two know each other...", "Um..." "Oh yeah, cool, anyway, we're busy man, nice to meet you." and ignore...

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Re: Dealing with aggressive guys coming on to your girl (rednecks, lower class e

Estate bro, BBBBAAAAAADDDD idea to take your girl out to a bar here in the US. I understand you're Irish so things work differently here but in the US if guys go out to bars and clubs then every girl there is fair game. My suggestion would be to pick a way better venue to take your girl out to than a bar here in the states because bars and clubs are prime game spots.

 

[Estate]

Re: Dealing with aggressive guys coming on to your girl (rednecks, lower class e

I'm not taking a first date to some place I have to shove my way through but if I want to go to a bar I'll go to a bar.

It might be something extra to deal with but should I wrap a girl I'm seeing up in cotton wool and never leave the house or go meet friends? Ummmm...

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Re: Dealing with aggressive guys coming on to your girl (rednecks, lower class e

Well jeez, its not like they have parks, malls, special events going on in a city, movies, social gatherings at peoples houses, etc.