- Joined
- Sep 16, 2013
- Messages
- 154
I was going to post this in the general section, but I want techniques on how to deal with my extremely negative father. I moved out several times, and am crashing at my grandmas place right now, but she is batshit crazy and thinks the landlord is constantly coming in and stealing shit, and touching things and doing random stuff, when that's not true at all. She has a specially made key that cannot be reproduced (the army uses them, and the lock cannot be picked), there are cameras in her apt, no one is coming in end of story. Anyways, I have to live at home. My father always puts me down, and tells me I fail at life, and do a terrible job at things, even when I do a great job. I really don't wont to live at home because I feel like killing him. I feel like if I live at home, I will eventually do so, and just murder him, and I'm not kidding. It's very serious, very tense, and...horrible, but I have to somehow manage to put up with it somehow, besides living at my grandmothers, or spending the rest of my life in a federal penitentiary for murder (I'm seriously not kidding...).
He's an intense alocoholic, and he has simply lost his ways as a good man, because I'm sure he once was, perhaps a couple decades ago. It's like I'm living in North Korea. Even my neighbors agree, and frankly, everybody, thinks he is a terrible person to deal with. My mother as well. I don't know what else to say. My brother moved out with his girlfriend as soon as he could, and now he has his crosshairs on me. I have 2 years of college left, and was hoping I could go back for a year, get my dual diploma, then go to uni for 2 or 3 years and get my bachelors in my current field. This would take 5-6 years, which I recently realized in the past weak, that is completely unfeasible by living at home. So I have 2 years till my program finishes. Two years.
I have to have some techniques to deal with him. I've tried not talking to him unless I absolutely have to, but I always help him and my family out with things, and he also works at home, so I have to talk to him every day. I need to be able to talk to him, but also not feel terrible afterwards, or not have to really try to stop myself from walking to the kitchen, grabbing a knife, and plunging it deep into his chest.
Hopefully some of you have experience dealing with this kind of person and can help me. It's really affecting my psych, and I believe has a strong roll to play in some of my past (and sort of present) episodes of persistent depression.
He's an intense alocoholic, and he has simply lost his ways as a good man, because I'm sure he once was, perhaps a couple decades ago. It's like I'm living in North Korea. Even my neighbors agree, and frankly, everybody, thinks he is a terrible person to deal with. My mother as well. I don't know what else to say. My brother moved out with his girlfriend as soon as he could, and now he has his crosshairs on me. I have 2 years of college left, and was hoping I could go back for a year, get my dual diploma, then go to uni for 2 or 3 years and get my bachelors in my current field. This would take 5-6 years, which I recently realized in the past weak, that is completely unfeasible by living at home. So I have 2 years till my program finishes. Two years.
I have to have some techniques to deal with him. I've tried not talking to him unless I absolutely have to, but I always help him and my family out with things, and he also works at home, so I have to talk to him every day. I need to be able to talk to him, but also not feel terrible afterwards, or not have to really try to stop myself from walking to the kitchen, grabbing a knife, and plunging it deep into his chest.
Hopefully some of you have experience dealing with this kind of person and can help me. It's really affecting my psych, and I believe has a strong roll to play in some of my past (and sort of present) episodes of persistent depression.
