Dealing with angry and aggressive guys who might be jealous of you?

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Where do I begin with this. When I was in high school my parents were running into some money problems and the cost of living in California is bad so they sent me to a big public school in the rough part of town. Thanks to the guidance of my parents I was able to stay out of trouble and get into college. The high school I went to was huge (over 2,000 kids) and had a good mix of kids, most were from middle class areas and some were from more impoverished backgrounds. We had a few kids who were looking for a fight, had been in trouble with the law, and just wanted to start trouble. I did get out but some guys there that were in my classes hated me, provoked me, and one was jealous that I was dating a girl he liked. High school ended and I went off to college, a good college that I am happy at.

In college after screwing around for a bit with casual sex I decided to get into a relationship. The girl I am in a relationship with decided to visit my family and stay with them for the Christmas break. It was alright until I was in public with her at a mall, some of these guys who had some against me in high school saw me and then came up to me trying to "catch up on old times". I knew these guys were just looking to cause trouble as always but I smiled at them and said everything is good and was on my way. One of the guys (the main one who loves causing problems) grabbed my girlfriend by the hair and pulled her. She yelled and I tried to push the guy off but he punched me a few times and kicked me in the shin. A guy in the group tried to break it up and did because he was scared that her yelling would attract law enforcement.

Then this problem happened again a few days later. I was at a cafe with my girlfriend and one other guy from my high school shows up, looks at me, looks at her, and says that we cannot be dating. Decide to ignore him but then he starts flirting with her and playing with her hair. I tell him to get lost and he stands up and yells "and what you gonna do if I don't bitch!". It just escalates from there and the guy pushes me, I push back, he throws a punch that misses and some of the people at the cafe try to break up the fight.

Now I am away from that town and the less than pleasant experience but I know what caused most of those issues.

My high school was a mix of hispanic (mostly hispanic), asian, and black kids. I am one of the few kids from my high school that is doing well right now. Back in high school one time the talk about race came up and these guys were telling me how white girls wouldn't date my kind but I just ignored it. A few of these guys were used to being the center of attention in high school I guess but after it I think seeing me prove them wrong worked up some reaction.

These aren't guys who love to talk behind your back and gossip. If these guys find a reason to fight then they will fight and a few of them have been in jail before. I won't be taking my girlfriend to the town I took her to and I probably won't deal with these guys again but what is the best way to react to this if it happens in the future?

I felt so hopeless in the 2 confrontations I got into with them so I would like some advice.

 

[Light]

Hey buddy,

You made the wisest decision in ignoring and avoiding such messy situations.

But there WILL be times when a confrontation or a fight will occur, in which case, you MUST stand up to them.

The problem with these guys is that they will always keep coming to you because they know "They can get away with it".

Well, if I was in your shoe (which I have been in the past) - is that "you won't get away with it without at least a black eye. If I go down, I'll take one of you down too."

They will now know that even if you may be weak in comparison, at least you're not a push over, and they won't get away without you putting up a fight.

My advise? Take up Martial arts. That is not even a joke.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I don't see how martial arts will help me against angry guys who might have weapons on them.

 

[Ross]

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-b ... situations

Yeah, guys with weapons are no joke. I feel like you made yourself quite the easy target for those guys, because:

I knew these guys were just looking to cause trouble as always but I smiled at them and said everything is good and was on my way.

Smiling at them invites them in for an interaction.

One of the guys (the main one who loves causing problems) grabbed my girlfriend by the hair and pulled her.

Don't know how exactly this went down, but if you say hello then suddenly turn away they are left wanting more, so they go for more. Look at the article and find the section with how to deal with guys who approach.

Decide to ignore him but then he starts flirting with her and playing with her hair. I tell him to get lost and he stands up and yells "and what you gonna do if I don't bitch!".

I'd say do the same thing as if you were approached. Basically, tool him, as much as I hate to call it that. Most guys who are extremely aggressive don't have much wit, so they'll fall into the trap of falling off balance. I like to make ridiculous requests like, "Hey man, I just started this new online marketing business. All you have to do is pay an initial fee then you can start making 5gs a month! You in bro?" They'll now this is a hack-job and they'll start to argue with you about it. Eventually they'll get dismissive and leave if you continue making requests to hoist money off of them.