Dealing with Braggarts in a group

[Coconut]

Would it be good to call out bragging guys when you are talking in a group setting?

Because I feel by calling them out on bragging they can always frame you as jealous and it becomes some sort of frame war where both you and the braggart are losing face in the group.

These brags are framed in a way that they are a subtle negative to everyone listening.
Example :
"People somehow always follow me in a group, I don't know why"
"People always find my words valuable whatever it is"
"I am surprised by the effect I have on people I am talking with".

If not calling out and what would be a strategic way to go about this?

 

[Alpha13SC]

Why would you call them out? If they came across as too bragging, chances are other people fell the same.

 

[Tim Iron]

This reminds me of an over-aged Latino braggart who is on this forum.

 

[Coconut]

Why would you call them out? If they came across as too bragging, chances are other people fell the same.

I am worried about the group dynamics, does not calling out the braggart acknowledge that the guy is higher value than us.
As in he is powerful enough that even if he is being a try hard no one wants to speak up?

 

[Alpha13SC]

I am worried about the group dynamics, does not calling out the braggart acknowledge that the guy is higher value than us.

This is not actually true.

As in he is powerful enough that even if he is being a try hard no one wants to speak up?

Read my previous reply.

Of course I would call somebody out if he s full of bullshit or if he s done some remarks towards me and it can affect my social value. But beside that, why would you worry about somebody s else social value?

 

[Skills]

Would it be good to call out bragging guys when you are talking in a group setting?

Because I feel by calling them out on bragging they can always frame you as jealous and it becomes some sort of frame war where both you and the braggart are losing face in the group.

These brags are framed in a way that they are a subtle negative to everyone listening.
Example :
"People somehow always follow me in a group, I don't know why"
"People always find my words valuable whatever it is"
"I am surprised by the effect I have on people I am talking with".

If not calling out and what would be a strategic way to go about this?

just pump them and exagerate:

"look at youuuu"
"you a pimp"

so ridiculous exagaration, they will get it...


example 1.- cause you are the man, you are pimp, why would anybady not want to follow such a cool dude like you, when i grow up i want to be like you.... (it has to be ridiculous exageration)

example 2.- you are a wizard, you are a jedi you should write a book would be a best seller.... look at youuu

example 3.- of course you are a extremely charming, i am taking notes... you are the man....

etc...

 

[Regal Tiger]

My cousin's friend had a constant one-upper, so I started "one-downing" as an inside joke. And it actually became a fairly decent go-to technique to get some self-deprecating chuckles out of people.

My cousin: I'm so pumped! I landed this contract and it's going to be awesome!
--> just sharing good things that happened to him

Cousins friend: Oh yeah? That's cool but I just got done closing 3 deals and I'm feeling awesome!
--> always has to one up people

Me: Oh that's great dudes! I just found 5 dollars on the ground so I'm right there with you! Best day ever I reckon
--> the vibe/energy you're going for here is that you have to be genuinely happy about your 'good' news, and a little over-the-top to make sure people don't think you're a schmuck. They have to understand that you're kinda joking and not being serious



While I haven't read any research or anything about how/why this works, so I can only guestimate based on my gut feelings (so keep that in mind that this is all only anecdotal and me trying to figure out why it works on my own):

I think if you do it with someone who is just sharing good news, it highlights a little bit of a difference and puffs them up while also sharing good energy while you one-down them. It also increases your availability and relatability a little bit since it is self-deprecation humor. It brings you back down to earth (but again, I'm only hypothesizing here). Finally, it's so out-of-left-field and random that I can't think of a time where I didn't get a laugh out of somebody

But if you do it with someone who is one-upping, then it subtly calls out what they're doing while also making you the person who "get's it" and makes them the person who "doesn't get it" (but again, strictly a hypothesis). I also noticed with my cousins friend that he wouldn't like what I did, but you could tell he couldn't quite understand why he didn't like it. But, he was socially smart enough that he wouldn't double-down on top of me because then it would make him look stupid.


Either way, it's become a go-to technique for me and seems to always land well in these two scenarios.

 

[Tim Iron]

@Tayo dude i put you in my ignore list but like a faggot, you seem to be taking inderectly shots at me:

- be very specific and copy and paste a post were i was BRAGGING....

meanwhile i went to your archive to see what type of clown or troll i am dealing with which is what i recommend with dealing with trolls, amazing findings:

0 practical post
0 lay report
0 field reporst
0 evidence you have met anyone in the community....

Dude i don't brag, what i can do you can't you will never be able to do, this not bragging this is a fact, keep being WARRIOR keyboard on the interest, dude, your trolling is weak and pathetic, so since you did not could not control yourself i am taking you off the ignore list and i will go mano and mano with your trolling... Dude i have gone into puahate and deal with actual good trolls, your trolling is weak, not funny, not amuzing.... I will not report you lets go.... Give me what you have.... Again i encourage people to go to your starting post to see your weak ass stuff.... Don't call me latino address me by skills is ok.... no need to be indirect i am man and could handle, clown....

p.s. my apologies tayo i saw a post about fucking VIDEO GAMEs, no wonder what you have hard on with me https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/who-played-super-nintendo-snes-a-lot-here.7861/ this is the faggot calling me out... nice post keep up the good word... lets go dude....

The master and "slayer of the pussies"!

 

[Dash of Englishness]

Yeah, I do hate that moment when your only comeback remark isn't great... so you hesitate on saying it for all of half a second and then decide to say it anyway! They will most definitely pick up on that hesitation. And if you hadn't hesitated, would it have went down better? Depends on who's the stronger frame.

But what I would say that it doesn't really matter if you can't think of the perfect comeback in the moment. However it is important to note their remark to yourself because there's a very good chance you could their very words against them later. If, lets say, 5 minutes later the same person says something that contradicts their previous remark, be ready. For example, if the bragger later starts walking after someone else when the group leaves, maybe you could say "no no Josh is the leader, remember, we must follow him!". As you'll probably know, James Bond is very good in this way.

If it's the same people you are dealing with who do this, try and get a sense for their way of doing it so you are prepared next time. They may even say the very same thing the next time the group meets. People can be very predictable. If you can call them out graciously, without showing that you're angered then great. After doing so, then quickly move the conversation on and act as if what you just did wasn't a big deal. If you can't think of how to move the conversation on then just refer back to the last thing the group were taking about as if that's the main thing on your mind. If the bragger then decides to take issue with you correcting them, then they are the one making a thing of it, and then (assuming you're right, and that you know why you're right) you are free to have all the fun you want. The thing I've noticed about myself is that, if it's a pre-prepared remark that I will be less likely to make eye contact than otherwise... because you're more in your head. So remember the eye contact.

Another thing - in my view one should try an earn compliments. If I like to think of myself as the funny one in the group I shouldn't get to say it about myself. And I don't know for sure that I am right until I hear someone else say it about me. So if someone randomly says "people always find my words valuable", you could jokingly say "oh there's no praise like self praise", and then hopefully the others in the group will laugh at the dude's fragile ego.

 

[Glow]

i do quite similar to skills

Would it be good to call out bragging guys when you are talking in a group setting?

Because I feel by calling them out on bragging they can always frame you as jealous and it becomes some sort of frame war where both you and the braggart are losing face in the group.

These brags are framed in a way that they are a subtle negative to everyone listening.
Example :
"People somehow always follow me in a group, I don't know why"

thats nice man, i always follow other people in a group even my 3 year old niece tells me im a retard and to stop copying her moves .. can you teach me?

"People always find my words valuable whatever it is"

Youre awesome man. Im the opposite. People always look at me like im gollum from lord of the rings when i speak...

"I am surprised by the effect I have on people I am talking with".

me too. most people literally move away extremely FAST.. after i say something to them then avoiding me

If not calling out and what would be a strategic way to go about this?

its called self-depreciation as a tactic
you do it with a rockstarish on top of the world i dont give a f attitude - calm and self laughingly
it has sensual effects on girls listening too..

 

[Ree]

This is not actually true.

Read my previous reply.

Of course I would call somebody out if he s full of bullshit or if he s done some remarks towards me and it can affect my social value. But beside that, why would you worry about somebody s else social value?

im leaning towards this,if some guy wants to brag,i dont think id feel the need to vut him down to size,how is he hutting me?

 

[Skills]

im leaning towards this,if some guy wants to brag,i dont think id feel the need to vut him down to size,how is he hutting me?

Yeah it depends on context, i have been in couple of situations when a dude was bragging to a girl... in order to put himself above and make me look inferior.... In this case is good to be quiet cause the dude is hanging himself to the target, so the more he does this, the more overcompensating, try hard he is.... so the move is stay quiet and tilt your head.... Sometimes mumble "a rich man does not need to say he is rich" from mystery... But again, women are repulse by this.... here is a sample of one of my reports:


"The 8 gets into a ridiculous fight with some dude on the topic of her (as a nurse that makes tons of money, traveling nurse) makes more money than guys, cause some retarded dude trying to pick her up said that he can not be with the girl that makes more money than him.

She is getting all worked up about that stupid argument…

I tell her to come with me, and i say, looking at her eye and both hands in the shoulder “look at me, look at me (eye contact seductively) “why are you getting all worked up over some retarded fight with a dude that has a stone age mentality, that is his way to get reactions out of you, he has weak game, you need to pick and choose your battles”, i am calling her out, and is kind of a display of leadership and skill.

Then I go into story telling with the story of the sun vs. the wind “once upon a time there was the sun and the wind challenging each other on who is stronger, the wind was blowing as hard as he could and the more he blew, the more the dude grab his coat, till the win gave up…”
now was the sun turn, he came with a big smile and it was too hot, so the dude took of the coat” get the point, is not worth arguing with a fool…

Now the dude tells her that he makes more money than her (of course he is full of shit) and she asks how much? (yep there are this idiots with that level of game.I say dude women don’t give a fuck about that shit, what are you trying to impress her with money, just show drive and ambition blah balh, she jumps in and agrees with me. Then she asks me to break down the psychology behind it etc… I tell her that guys trying hard to impress is a turn off, a rich man does not have to say he is rich blah blah blah, just lol I do this in front of the dude.

I know I got this 8 in the pocket"

Tales from the club.- former fuck buddy cock blocked me :-( - The Skills Method

So I was again at pizza place after the club, doing street game, a girl i fucked before (6) comes with her friend (8) out of town (Chicago) nurse, out … Continue Reading →

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