Socializing Dealing with negativity during the outbreak?

[Fluxcapacitor]

Dudes! Currently where I live there's a few restrictions in place limiting what everyone can do. Due to this both friends and lovers are depressed, in moods and just exhausting to deal with. You might flip their mood one night and they're in a slump again the next day.

These people were all upbeat people, I try to remove negativity from my life where possible but they're really struggling with coping at the moment. I'm seeing a lot of victim mentality in them which is frustrating me even more.

It's tedious to repeat and I'm becoming frustrated with it. Not being able to meet people and not being able to go anywhere has really limited what I'm able to do. Part of me thinks should I even bother? It's not my problem and I've already tried being upbeat, being understanding, pacing their reality, listening, acting normal, giving them time, giving them space, and they've came to me I haven't bothered them so I'm out of ideas.

Anyone else dealing with this? Any ideas?

Thanks dudes!

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Hey man, I can relate there, in general society has had a down mood. Even a week ago when I went grocery shopping I almost got into a shouting match with a paranoid old woman who kept saying "get the fuck back!" multiple times. I have gained a good amount of weight this year too and dude I notice my friends are all on edge, even my matches on dating apps are moody lol. One of my old fuckbuddies I met earlier this year had a call with me and started to shout a few times during the call until I agreed and amplified and changed topics to cool her down.

Here is what I have done to get myself back on track:

1. Find something to work towards for your own self-growth, maybe it is taking a course in something you always wanted to take a course in or finishing a book.

2. Realize that social interactions might be minimal and find peace within yourself, plus, we're always here for you!

3. See the blessing in this time, it can either be a time for unwanted solitude or a time for having the type of deep reflection that sets you up for success.

4. Just know that this will end and see life for when it does end, light at the end of the tunnel. How the bars will pick back up and it will be more social again. Are you going to be at your best when it all ends? This whole period is a time to set up for that.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@Oh Pry dude! Thanks for the reply, you're right that society in general is in a down mood and I'm glad I'm not the only one having old people shouting at me to keep my distance! :') it's my friends and girls being on edge and overly moody that I find draining. I've changed topics but it's hard to escape the negativity. Everyone at my work is in good spirits so that's good to be around.

I think personally I haven't really dipped yet but I like your 4 points. I'm going to address each point

1) I've set a couple goals to work towards that's keeping me motivated

2) Is something I'm working on but thanks dude! It's been mentioned by other posters how good this forum and its members are and I agree there's a lot of great advice, experience and guys looking to help each other.

3) I feel geared up for success with point 1!

4) I think after I get rid of the rust I'll be at my best and I'm looking forward and motivated for it.

I know you'll be following your own advice so keep it up! Thanks dude!

 

[YS.]

Hey buddy,

Rather than give advice, here are a few things I do.

People are shocked I'm super positive and dominating the lock down in every way. (I don't even want things to open up lol that's how much I've been enjoying it.)

1) I realize isolation depression is normal. I don't identify with it. I try to meditate.

2) I never stopped moving. Figuratively. Keep doing shit. Take action. I joined 2 mentorship groups. Doing weekly calls, fixing up my social media game and online game. Doing a product lunch. Preparing material, editing videos, talking with my marketing director. Bro I don't sleep lol. I'm like 3 times as busy. No time to get depressed.

3) I exercise. Did bodyweight stuff for 2 weeks than got sick of it and bought kettlebells. Amazing. This is a crucial tip because you need to physically move for your body to not get depressed and lethargic. The best way to do that in the house is a brutal workout.

4) I try to call at least 3 gangsters every week to keep on touch. Make sure I post some memes on ig. Just to keep in touch. Never let myself feel socially disconnected. I do weekly calls with my best friends who are also business owners.

5) I took up new hobbies. Got into photography and something else. Just learning, doing, having that novelty feeling. It's all super exciting.

I felt 10x as good now as before the quarantine with every single metric bar social momentum and a little isolation depression/anxiety both are completely normal.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@YS. dude! Thanks for the reply you're totally crushing it! I thought I was keeping busy and doing well Haha. I'm doing a lot of what you've mentioned and I'm doing alright my issue mentioned in my OP is about my friends and lovers being depressed and dealing with their negativity.

I might convince them to be positive one night and they'll say they're going to work out or something and the next night their in a slump again. That's what's frustrating me dealing with that.

I possibly wasn't too clear in my OP but I love the energ and positivity I feel more motivated to work even harder thanks dude.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Anyone else dealing with this? Any ideas?

Tell them to jack off. That's all that we can do right now.

Tell them to have a meeting at Zoom. Altogether, in a cup. HAHAHAHA

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@ZacAdam dude! Haha telling them to Jack off has definitely crossed my mind! :')
I said half of me thinks should I even bother? I've tried and they're either too depressed or too deep into victim mentality to try and change.

 

[YS.]

@YS. dude! Thanks for the reply you're totally crushing it! I thought I was keeping busy and doing well Haha. I'm doing a lot of what you've mentioned and I'm doing alright my issue mentioned in my OP is about my friends and lovers being depressed and dealing with their negativity.

I might convince them to be positive one night and they'll say they're going to work out or something and the next night their in a slump again. That's what's frustrating me dealing with that.

I possibly wasn't too clear in my OP but I love the energ and positivity I feel more motivated to work even harder thanks dude.

Ah, shit man. Didn't read & understand clearly. My bad.

I never have those problems so it's hard for me to relate but I'll give it a go, maybe it's helpful.

You can always dominate the frame. Just infect everyone with your positivity, it's hard to get effected by BS if your life is at a 100. And then your friends would open threads at their forums "Dealing with positivity during the outbreak?" I mean, the strongest frame always wins. That means their negativity was stronger than your positivity. Get more pillars/strength/momentum outside of your friends to your positive beliefs/life/mentality.

You should also not look to passively take what they have but actively dictate the frame and the vibe.

"Hey motherfuckers! How y'all doing today? What a great day bro! Let's chat some shit. Have some fun." I'm semi exaggrating but you get the point. My positivity has so much momentum that it's hard for me to get affected by this (in limited doses ofc) and it's hard for other people to not be positive.

Did you ever feel super down, and then you had a girl who just fucking kissed you, showered you with compliments, made some jokes and told you she loved you?

If so, could you stay feeling down? I'd guess no. She didn't buy into your frame and become negative but made you buy into hers and influenced you. You can influence your friends also.

This is kinda cookie cutter advice because I really don't deal with this problem anymore; partly due to friend choice, partly due to super strong frames/being/personality but I hope it's helpful.

Cheers, man!

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@YS. dude! I think I'm dominating the frame but they're exiting out the window. I've had them straight up question "I know you're trying to help but I don't see this working" and "I think you're fighting a losing battle here" all times I ignore this bull shit and continue sometimes re calibrate if I thought I needed a change of approach.

They fall into my frame, I passively take what they give but redirect it to where I want it. They've started to reply slower and just killing positive energy. It's like they notice they're being positive and stop Haha. It kills the momentum and if they're positive tonight I guarantee tomorrow they're back negative.

Fortunately I don't need them for strength or motivation but I do feel like I'm wasting my time with them which I know is negative. They're usually fun upbeat people so this is well out of character.

Thanks for the advice dude I'll keep at it, I'm motivated from your post the energy is infectious due!