Deciding on what to do with two girls.

zeroman2

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 11, 2018
Messages
99
Hi Beginner Here

Kind of a long story so strap in.

So these two girls I work with for a dinner theater.

Girl #1 I met doing the audition for the dinner detective. There was instant chemistry. So when we both got the parts and met up doing our nights we started talking a little bit and I added her on Facebook. Turns out she has a boyfriend so I didn't do nothing about it. Then one day for one of our dinner theaters we work very closely that day. At the end of the night I asked her for a ride home she said yes. Doing the ride there I contemplated on invited up but my house was a mess and some part of me didn't want her that she on her boyfriend for me (my thoughts are extremely different now I should have done it with her that night in hindsight which I will explain later). Months later doing quarantine I went on to check up on her she said she broke up with her boyfriend. Knowing this is my perfect opportunity I started talking her a little more and we talked on Zoom. I asked her out over text however she declined. You would think I would just give up and move on but here's the thing she has been so compliant about everything except a date. So I just told myself if I ever am alone with her again I'm going to make my move. (Also just a side note there's also another guy in our dinner theater that's also after her and he has a girlfriend. But I feel like she gravitates more to me than him)

Girl #2 even though we met at the dinner detective as well we didn't start talking to each other until we met at another event. But once I met her again I got her number and tried to ask her out over text (which I learn to never do) she ignored my text. I thought nothing of it because I was lukewarm with her at best. Months later doing quarantine maybe out of boredom I decided to give her a text to see how she's doing. She texted back and for a while we started texting back and forth. I tried to ask a lot again but she ignored it again. During the text she was more interested on my life instead of trying to talk about her life which I was trying to do. After a while I just figured if she's not willing to move forward with me then I'm just wasting my time so I stop texting her. (Also to let you know she's not very compliant)

Now it all comes ahead when the dinner theater starts open up again and now I have to see them both. I decided to go with girl #1 because she's way more compliant, I have a better chance with her, also I like her way more. However girl #2 Would always want to talk to me and ask me if I'm going to the show that night. Also not to mention the other guy is hitting on girl #1 all night so me and girl #1 barely talked but the chemistry was still there.

Now we move forward to this upcoming weekend when I'm going to the dinner theater and me and girl #1 are going to spend a lot of time that night but also girl #2 is going to be there as well.

My Questions

1. How do I make a move on girl#1 when girl #2 going to be there (assuming of course she has feelings for me)

2. What is Girl #2 deal? Does she like me? And if she does why she doesn't want to move things forward?

3. As always is there anything I can improve on
 

ulrich

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Oct 21, 2019
Messages
1,651
1) Do your move on girl #1 regardless if she “has feelings for you”.
She seems to be interested in you but her shields are up for some reason and honestly it is not a good use of your time obsessing on what that reason could be. There’s a big chance her reasons are out of your control.

I wouldn’t push too much on trying to get a “date”, instead focus on isolating her first (“let’s have a quick chat, I haven’t seen you in some time”) and if that works out try to get her into a quick instadate (think of a couple of options in advance).

2) I don’t think girl #2 is that much into you.

She texting you and asking you about your life while sharing nothing from hers seems to me as a test to see if she still “has you”.
If you invited her out on that convo (can’t tell for sure from your post), then you basically confirmed that she got you.

I wouldn’t pay too much attention to her unless she starts reciprocating.

3) Honestly it seems like you are doing a good job.
You are not obsessing, you are placing more consideration on their actions than their words, you are paying attention to crucial points and you are asking for help before things get out of hand.
Keep at it.
 

Will_V

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
1,539
Hi Beginner Here

Kind of a long story so strap in.

So these two girls I work with for a dinner theater.

Girl #1 I met doing the audition for the dinner detective. There was instant chemistry. So when we both got the parts and met up doing our nights we started talking a little bit and I added her on Facebook. Turns out she has a boyfriend so I didn't do nothing about it. Then one day for one of our dinner theaters we work very closely that day. At the end of the night I asked her for a ride home she said yes. Doing the ride there I contemplated on invited up but my house was a mess and some part of me didn't want her that she on her boyfriend for me (my thoughts are extremely different now I should have done it with her that night in hindsight which I will explain later). Months later doing quarantine I went on to check up on her she said she broke up with her boyfriend. Knowing this is my perfect opportunity I started talking her a little more and we talked on Zoom. I asked her out over text however she declined. You would think I would just give up and move on but here's the thing she has been so compliant about everything except a date. So I just told myself if I ever am alone with her again I'm going to make my move. (Also just a side note there's also another guy in our dinner theater that's also after her and he has a girlfriend. But I feel like she gravitates more to me than him)

Girl #2 even though we met at the dinner detective as well we didn't start talking to each other until we met at another event. But once I met her again I got her number and tried to ask her out over text (which I learn to never do) she ignored my text. I thought nothing of it because I was lukewarm with her at best. Months later doing quarantine maybe out of boredom I decided to give her a text to see how she's doing. She texted back and for a while we started texting back and forth. I tried to ask a lot again but she ignored it again. During the text she was more interested on my life instead of trying to talk about her life which I was trying to do. After a while I just figured if she's not willing to move forward with me then I'm just wasting my time so I stop texting her. (Also to let you know she's not very compliant)

Now it all comes ahead when the dinner theater starts open up again and now I have to see them both. I decided to go with girl #1 because she's way more compliant, I have a better chance with her, also I like her way more. However girl #2 Would always want to talk to me and ask me if I'm going to the show that night. Also not to mention the other guy is hitting on girl #1 all night so me and girl #1 barely talked but the chemistry was still there.

Now we move forward to this upcoming weekend when I'm going to the dinner theater and me and girl #1 are going to spend a lot of time that night but also girl #2 is going to be there as well.

My Questions

1. How do I make a move on girl#1 when girl #2 going to be there (assuming of course she has feelings for me)

2. What is Girl #2 deal? Does she like me? And if she does why she doesn't want to move things forward?

3. As always is there anything I can improve on

Agree with Uriel, it seems to me like your attainability with #2 is too high and she's asking you questions to prove whether you're worth pursuing. If I was you, I would play games with her on text, maybe a bit of push/pull or teasing, or even just ignore her. And in person, I would parade #1 in front of her and do more push/pull. She needs to get emotionally into your frame.

For #1 I would do deep diving in person to create more connection.
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,092
Hi Beginner Here

Kind of a long story so strap in.

So these two girls I work with for a dinner theater.
See bolded part....Don't date women you work with.


Part 2 : Don't spin plates with two women who are in the same social circle.

This situation is a Lose-Lose scenario. Someone is going to be hurt and disappointed and it will affect you and the quality of oyur performance. . Depending on how long this DT goes on you can always re connect after you are not cast mates. You will always have that in common.
 
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