Long-Term deep dive in long term relationships

[TylerDurden]

Hi, I was wondering how deep diving and getting to know a girl work in a long term relationship, they seem to be a vital spet in generating attraction and in making a girl feel good with you, but what if you know a LOT about her already, is it possible to add emotion and meaning to everyday simple stuff?

 

[trashKENNUT]

Hi TylerDurden,

Hi, I was wondering how deep diving and getting to know a girl work in a long term relationship, they seem to be a vital spet in generating attraction and in making a girl feel good with you, but what if you know a LOT about her already, is it possible to add emotion and meaning to everyday simple stuff?

Deep diving and getting to know a girl shows that you care about her, but relationship between men and women has always been about sex. History has put it this way, Religion put it "Consummation". It's better if you gradually reward a girl everytime she puts a smile in your face, IF you were to put meaning to everyday simple stuff, you will get worn out. Plus you two must have your own lifes before and after becoming lovers.

i mean that's how you like each other in the first place, individuals at first
Zac

 

[Chase]

TD-

Deep diving is really a "getting to know you" technique. Once you already know her, there isn't much need.

You can still have interesting conversations in relationships, though they'll tend to be more about something that one of you ran into that day or a couple of days ago, or about some psychological phenomenon you noticed people have or something people do... those sorts of things.

Very occasionally, you may get into a "deep dive scenario," where she's telling you about her childhood or you're talking about yours, but I wouldn't advise actively seeking this out. Let it happen naturally if it's relevant to whatever you're talking about, but don't be always trying to steer your conversation toward deep diving, otherwise it'll get old pretty fast.

Chase

 

[BarryS1]

My question is similar to the OP’s. How do you increase a connection while in a relationship?

Like Chase said, after deep-diving, inspiring, and escalating on the girl, I have a really good grasp about who she is. If the connection is good, my attraction for her hovers about the same level. In the relationship I’m in now, conversations are around the same topics that brought us together in the first place. The only time when I use deep-diving if she brings up a topic bothering her (that’s serious to the relationship) or something interesting.

I’m in my first exclusive relationship and feel like there is more work to do after connecting, having sex, and setting relationship boundaries (once she pushes for it). I followed Chase’s advice for linearly investing in the girl as time passes. Currently, I’ve been seeing the girl for 4 months with 3 months dating and 1 month being public/exclusive.