Deep Diving Wall / Girls acting weird

[Lawliet]

Deep Diving Wall

For me, I hit a wall when she says, "I don't know."
if TLDR report, please scroll down below to bolded and give feedback

Me: Really? What makes you want to take this class?"
Her: I'm not sure, I don't like biology but this psychology class excites me
Me: What do you like about this psychology class but not in biology?
Her: Well I'm not sure
Me: This is a neurology psychology class, so there's a bunch of anatomy in here too.
Her: Yeah...Hmm I don't know. I think it's about the fascination of brain. I hated the biology psychology class though.
Me: Fascination of brain, sounds like you're planning to be a neurologist
Her: I have no idea what I'm doing after graduation
Me: Nothing at all? I'm sure there's some ideas you have
Her: I don't know... (takes out her phone)

Thinking of going back to some threads, Can't think of a good one. Thinking to start a new thread...nothing popped up. But she already broke circle...then again I didn't think of anything else to go on either. Lost direction I guess?

Or this one
Me: What brings you here to volunteer at this event?
Her: I don't know.
Me: You don't know? Why are you here then?
Her: I don't know.

At the time, I came up with nothing.
Just thought of this now as I'm writing this:
In retrospect, tease! (cooperatively though! Don't damage her value and put yourself up)
Me: This is a new disease...and it's contagious...now I don't know either..
Her: Haha well I don't know, why are you volunteering here?

EDIT: Chase says it's a confused topic, drop it and move on.
Any ideas on coming up with ideas for which topic to go on? Right now, my conversations are rigidly stuck with dreams and goals with career. And stuff.


Funny thing was, when the girl from the first sample left class, she didn't even look back to say bye...
She didn't mumble bye when she got up.

Strange... some girls would turn to say bye and all I did was just opened them with situational opener without continuing onwards...
But some girls won't say bye, turns and leaves after chatting for awhile
Hmm...

Stay Awesome,
Lawliet

 

[Metalus]

I think its really hard to talk about conversations. The way you say something is way more important than what you are actually saying.
I dont even know the context or how you started the conversation.
When I read it and I put myself in her spot. I would probably feel like "why is he asking me this stuff ?" and
"yeah i simply felt like taking this class because it might be interesting i didnt think all that much about the biology stuff - who cares".

In both examples the other persons thought process is getting questioned (which makes me feel kind of awkward):

Me: This is a neurology psychology class, so there's a bunch of anatomy in here too.
Me: Nothing at all? I'm sure there's some ideas you have

Me: You don't know? Why are you here then?

Like in the first one it implies that she didnt think about that stuff at all.
In the second one it feels awkward for the person to answer that question. "Why are you here" has this feeling of "you dont belong here".

Still there are one million possible things that might have fucked up the convos. Maybe she was in a bad mood or whatever. You can never
know for sure. Just practice more and if u repeatedly get this kind of reaction you should ask again and try to find the spot that you are
missing. A conversation should be fun (not the same as making jokes over and over obv) and in the beginning of the conversation i think
its crucial to give the other person the feeling of being important - of doing something "good", "right". Just make them feel good and they will be willing
to talk about themselves for hours.

 

[Smith]

If a girl is not qualifying herself, check your non-verbals and fundamentals first. If that's good, then it's your conversation skills that need to be improved. From your example, you ask too many questions in a series. General rule of thumb is - asking questions = value leaching. It's not always the case, but most of the time in the beginning of the interaction that tends to be true. Relate more to her and you should be fine!E.g. when she tells you this class excites her, that's your cue to tell her what excites you about this class. "oh same, I love this class because XX"
Deep diving is not just trying to get to know her, it's also about connecting with her too.

 

[Lawliet]

Just for clarification on deep diving
So deep diving is not just about asking her questions and going deeper about her?
And also taking the focus off ourselves and talk as little as possible while getting her to share as much as possible?

 

[Smith]

If you read Chase's article on deep diving, I think one of the last point on deep diving is "relating to her", which is more important than anything. When I'm in a conversation, I don't think "oh now I have to deep dive her", it should come naturally when your intention is to get to know her. When you want to get to know someone, you naturally will ask a few questions about why and how they feel about certain things, then you'll share your opinions and feelings as well. It is YOUR opinion and hence showing your own personality, that makes a conversation interesting.