Deep rooted negatives believes about Sexuality

[Witcher]

Hello Everyone,

Recently after a lot of observation, I think I finally found the reasons why I can attract girls and having good lifestyles with many women, I can't fuck them. It's not logistics, not society either even if I live in north africa etc..
I replayed a lot fo failed seduction and discovered that many times I failed to take thing further with no real resistance from the girls.

The fact seems that even if at surface level, and after a lot fo reading, I understand that Girls Like sex, the ASD and all the good beliefs. I still have deep rooted negative beliefs about Sexuality and still in my subconscious, fucking girls is bad.

These are the toughs that I observed frequently about girls and sexuality not when I'am talking about that with friends. They come when I am either very attracted to a woman or very angry at one for personal reasons:

I feel like guilt and shame for wanting to lead a girl that I like and who likes me in return to the stage of having sex. Another thought on the same kind is that reading a lot about alpha and how a man should be ( according to GC) and the fact that my sex experienced is really really small (Late 20s Virgin). This makes me think that I don't deserve pussy and I should not make this girl I like having the shameful experience to be with a “Normal guy” who hasn't a lot of experience with women.

The second one is that I can have the strange desire to seduce and fuck the girls with whom I had a personal problem with like broken friendship, sabotage at work etc.... Even If I wasn't attracted to these girls before.

The thing is, at an intellectual level and when I am in my normal state I don't have such thinking, but when I observe my toughs in a deeper way, this is the two commons ones. This I think makes me unconsciously sabotage myself with girls I like by not going further.

Toughts comments, suggestions on how to switch to healthier views?

Thank You

 

[andersen09]

There's two parts of understanding for human beings.

1. Intellectual (Think branches of the tree)
2. Subconscious (Think roots of the tree)

You could cut off the branch, but if the roots are strong, it'll just regrow the same branch.

So honestly, you're at a good position and you're self aware of what's happening to your body.
What you need to do is accept it like you're doing.

A. Yes it's my own beliefs that's holding me back

And B, after you recognize it, go through the phase of FORCING yourself to EMULATE someone being sexual and comfortable with it.

B. When you force yourself to emulate, your body will do its thing and go through the changes it needs to and become comfortable.

It's just like when a virgin is nervous about having sex.
But after 20 girls, your body learns it's not really a big deal anymore.

 

[Richard]

Changing your thoughts to correct an action is incredibly tough because there's never enough "force" to get the change to just stick.

The fastest way to change your thoughts is by taking direct action - you recognize that your thoughts are unhealthy, are holding you back, etc. so I'd recommend biting the bullet and fucking a girl the next time she wants to fuck you - the first time you do that you'll have slight cognitive dissonance and your thoughts will change to adapt to your actions. Fuck a girl again and it sticks even more, and by the third girl you'll likely look back at this post and laugh.

Anyhow, it sounds like you're protecting yourself (because you basically admitted to having low self-confidence) by saying "It's not okay to lead a girl to sex" as a means to really say "I don't want to disappoint this girl." Same situation though, if you want to improve and be able to give girls mind-blowing orgasms then you need to have sex - basically, it doesn't sound like it's the sex that's a problem, it's the negative repercussions you've built up in your head that is a problem.

Again, the shadows of doubt and everything fall away as you take direct action and that aspect of taking action is completely dependent on you, buddy.

-Richard

 

[heidegger123]

"I feel like guilt and shame for wanting to lead a girl that I like and who likes me in return to the stage of having sex. Another thought on the same kind is that reading a lot about alpha and how a man should be ( according to GC) and the fact that my sex experienced is really really small (Late 20s Virgin). This makes me think that I don't deserve pussy and I should not make this girl I like having the shameful experience to be with a “Normal guy” who hasn't a lot of experience with women."

I don't know how helpful other people here will find my advice, but I know that watching porn and reading a lot about female pleasure gave me the confidence I needed to have sex for the first time. I can tell you that some girls who are definitely more experienced than me can't even tell I'm less experienced. Often, it's not totally noticeable if you have the basics down. Maybe you're just the kind of a guy who loves the fundamentals.

Sex is going to be fun for the girl most of the time, unless you do something like thrust erratically all the time. So as long as you have the basics, their experience will be good. It won't always be AMAZING, but they'll definitely enjoy it, unless you're taking home a freak with a lot of kinks and high standards.

Anyway, I just know that when I had videos in my memory, it was easy to just imitate what the guys did. So maybe some porn will give you some ideas of what to do and make it so the girl will not really notice how experienced you are.