Developing Outcome Independence

[Bboy100]

Hey guys,

So, recently, I've been reading a lot of the stickied LR's on Girlschase. And I realized among other things there is one HUGE difference between myself and those guys. They literally could not give a fuck about what happens in any given situation with any given girl. When I read the LR's, it seems to me like the whole date or the whole interaction is like a game or a joke to them. Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if one of them told me they cared more about what's for dinner than they did about the actual outcome of the date.

Me personally? I feel FAR more outcome independent now then I did 2 or 3 months ago. So I'm making progress. But still, every time I go on a date, I feel to a degree like I want this workout. Again, less so then I did before, but I'm still not at a level where I "couldn't care less" like the mentality a lot of the guys on the stickied LR's have. I kinda get stuck in the moment and think "Oh, she seems so great". As soon as that happens, I end up being timid, not hitting escalation windows, not taking risks, being indecisive etc. I wouldn't go as far as to say that I feel anxious, but it does result in just coming off as "boring" and "normal". Which of course in turn, often loses me the girl.

On a related note: For things which are "outside social norms" such as Chase framing, opening direct, inviting her home on a first date, and overcoming LMR, I feel kinda uneasy/ anxious, even when I actually don't care for the girl.

Ex. The other day, I was out on a date with a girl who looked far less attractive IRL than in her Tinder profile. It was a deal breaker. So I knew from the start that I wasn't sleeping with her and there would be no second date. I went on the date anyways just to practice. And I noticed that I still a hard time Chase Framing cause it just felt "wrong" to say that to girl. And it feels like I would have felt the same way had I attempted to do any of the other things I listed above.

Any advice on developing outcome independence? And on being decisive/confident about breaking social norms.

 

[Smith]

or things which are "outside social norms" such as Chase framing, opening direct, inviting her home on a first date, and overcoming LMR, I feel kinda uneasy/ anxious, even when I actually don't care for the girl.

these things aren't really "outside social norm". In fact, the most dominant guys have been doing these things since the beginning of time. It's just that doing these things are currently outside your comfort zone. It takes practice man. There's no other way around it. I remember I used to be terrified of doing sex talk, but now I'm very comfortable about it.

I kinda get stuck in the moment and think "Oh, she seems so great". As soon as that happens, I end up being timid, not hitting escalation windows, not taking risks, being indecisive etc. I wouldn't go as far as to say that I feel anxious, but it does result in just coming off as "boring" and "normal". Which of course in turn, often loses me the girl.

The abundance kind of comes with experience, but before you get to that stage, just have faith that there's another girl like her or better than her around the corner. I know that feeling when you find an amazing girl and you don't want to lose her, but as soon as you start thinking you need to "pull your A game", you're almost guaranteed to not go anywhere with her. Treat all girls like the cheeseburgers you find in every McDonald.