Developing Personality (Male Identity)

[StoicMind]

Well this summer my goal was to work on my fundamentals before college, and so far it's been going good. I've been working out, have a deeper voice, good fashion sense, as well as being more socially calibrated. I'm to the point where I could approach almost girl without any real fear or hesitation, although it still pops up once in a while. The next thing on my to do list is to develop my personality better. I've done and experience a lot of things but I'm not sure what I truly enjoy. I guess you could say I'm a jack of all trades but master of none. I saw a video in which the guy said that you want to bring the girl into your world, and not just jump into hers, so basically I want to understand what my world really consist of. I read the article the "9 Male Identities and how they affect women", by Chase and felt I fit into The Rebel, The Intellectual, The Athlete, and The Artist. I see myself in all these identities but not on primary level, and identifying with all these different these different things kind of leaves me in a confused state to the point where I don't do much of anything. To exemplify what I'm talking about when girls as me what I do In my free time there's not much I say (Watch Tv, Workout, and other menial activities), but there is a lot I could say (Draw, paint, soccer, guitar, dance, read, etc). I think that I have a fear of enthralling myself in one thing with the fear that I'm missing out on something else or doing something that's not worth while. So I guess my question is how do i go about grasping a definite sense of self and personality?

 

[Thedoctor]

Stoic,

I'm a lot like you in that I get bored kinda easily and want to move onto the next thing. This can sometimes leaving to a bunch of half-finished goals and talents, and can leave you with a slight feeling of failure at times since it seems you never achieve what you set out to do.

Before I immerse myself in anything new, I try to set out a clear end result of what I hope to achieve that will allow me to put in enough time and effort to feel I accomplished something, while not overdoing it and preventing other new pursuits in the future.

An example of this for me was snow boarding. I told told myself I would keep at it until I could get all the way down the mountain without falling. Then I would reassess whether I enjoyed it or not. That way, it ensured I could at least do it before I decided it wasn't for me. I'm not the most coordinated person with things like that so it took a while.

Chase goes over another approach at this in this article:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/100-hour-rule

-John