Diary of an explorer

[ChrisXKiss]

Ok, I finally decided to begin a journal. I have been feeling in general that lacking accountability is one of my biggest problems with making progress in most things in life, so I believe it can help. My plan is to write once per week, mentioning thoughts, certain approaches and in general how it's going for me regarding social skills and women. Please if anyone reads and want to comment, be brutally honest, I always appreciate it

First of all, I have been making approaches in general these past months but quite inconsistently, so I have been trying lately to build a schedule of going out certain times during the day for daygame and certain nights for nightgame, while also approaching women when I am out and about and see one I like, no matter where, when etc.

For a little backstory, I still haven't found a job, I'm basically living with family money in a foreign expensive country and my future is quite uncertain right now. This stuff also affects my mindset a bit, because I feel I don't have control of my life, I have never worked, only studied, and it's kinda not obvious how, when and even if I will manage to make this jump and make money in something that will satisfy me. I have a good general degree, but in a very theoretical topic and I don't really know what I want to do as a career change, I mean I have general ideas, but none that really feels like yeah this is a dream job to become a consultant, or a banker, or whatever. Anyway, a bunch of it is really excuses to not work hard for interviews and applications, but I have to target specific positions more as well, since I have been applying and interviewing for vastly different ones till now, which meant new preparation every time almost from zero. My plan is to focus more in some aspects of programming specifically and see how I can leverage this knowledge and skill. I have also wanted to learn business, basically I feel that building something myself and working on it would be the most fulfilling occupation, this does feel a bit chaotic now though, I mean I don't have any idea, and I can't really think of any particular monetisable skills. I do plan to look into it though with a 2-3 year horizon of creating something.

Now for the game part, I will talk about approaches I did yesterday and today, none of them went very far so they don't need a field report. I will mention ones that did lead to something like a number, or had some other significance as I saw it. Some of them are daygame, a bunch are night street game, and some in a club. Due to my financial situation I have been resorting to night street game quite a bit lately, so as not to get charged for the entrance fee in the clubs here, but from time to time I manage to get some free guestlists or entrances so I get in.

Yesterday:

To begin with, I had a number of simple compliments about the style or vibe of some women walking around. I generally do these when I first go out and need something to warm me up, if some woman is really stylish but old and I just don't see her sexually, or when I am a tiny bit of a chicken and for various excuses I don't try to move the interaction forward. Anyway, what usually happens after one-two of those, or one-two times I don't approach a cute girl at all is that I get motivated to push for the next interaction more.

One approach I did was a girl standing by a train platform in the middle of the day, in a slightly busy area, but with enough free space around her. Average height, with black hair, black hair highlighting her curves and black jacket, my intitial thought was that she wouldn't like me at all, but I went anyway. I walked in front of her field of view, and it worked, she noticed me first, then I turned I opened her, told her she has something very lovely about her ( or something along these lines ), and she was obviously flustered, she seemed to like me, which was a nice surprise, but she told me that she has boyfriend, which I generally respect, so I left.
Lesson: Just go, she may very much like you.

Few minutes later as I walking towards my home, while crossing a street I see a short girl with baggy clothes and black hair walking on the other side. Again my first though was that it would be an immediate rejection, but I started walking faster, caught up with her, walking next to her, and she also noticed me first and then I turned and and opened. This time I said something along the lines of : "I saw you walking, and you look badassly cute". Then I introduced myself and we walked together just for a bit, she told me she is in the area for vacation, that she likes how friendly people are here, and when I asked her about her plans, she answered she was going to the zoo with friends. Then I asked her favourite animal, she said tiger and I made a joke that she is wild, and then I proposed an exchange of numbers and to plan something the next days. She gave it happily, and after a normal first "lovely to meet you text" she answered immediately saying: " Sorry for my english I was a little bit nervous ". I felt she needed a bit more attainability so I answered: " Don't worry, the vibe is important and yours was sweet ". After that she didn't read or answer it, so I just sent a standard scheduler text a la Chase today. I was thinking of waiting more in fact but, she may not even be here for long, so we'll see.
Lesson: Just go again, she may even like you so much that she gets very nervous herself.

Some hours after that I was going to meet a friend for a beer. Passing from the main train station of the city around 6pm a lot of people were coming back from work, and I saw a very classy lady dressed in white walking, so I had to keep my friend waiting a bit. I stopped the lady told her that she looked very elegant, and she basically said I stopped her again some time ago. I mentioned that if she looked like that, yeah it makes sense. I felt her a bit hesitant so I answered if she is married, and she said no, but seeing someone. Then I asked her a bit for her plans, she said she was in a hurry so I replied: " I know what you said, but I just have to propose something...". And she said: "Something?", so I told her that yeah, I would like to see her again, and she thanked me but said she is seeing someone so no.
Lesson: If you want to see her, get to know her, do anything with her, show it passionately, and be assured of your desire, make her feel, you mean it.

Few minutes after that another girl derailed me from meeting my friend. She was sitting at a bench, so I walked in front and stood there looking the map of the city on my phone trying to find where my friend was. Then I turned and talked to her and stood down almost right away. She was a bit older but quite sweet, and seemed into me. She said she just changed jobs so she won't have time for the next week probably, but we did exchange numbers. No answer by her either, and I did sent the scheduler text again today. I feel this may be attainability problem in fact.
Lesson: Connect with the woman more, and when you ask her for plans at the close don't insist too much on figuring out when she is free, or when she can go out then and there. It can feel like you are pressuring her and that's the only thing you care about. You can ask again via text and let her figure it out at her own pace.

Later at night I walked around in the city after midnight. What generally happens to me in night street game approaches at this time is either an instant rejection of: "No don't talk to me/ not interested", no matter how I make the approach, or I can get a friendly reaction and small chat which almost never leads to more, meaning either I get a "I have a boyfriend", or sometimes the "I'm not interested" a bit later. I'm not even sure what lesson to get from these though. I guess that night street game is extremely targeted, and I should simply find women that are more receptive and possibly not occupied with other friends.

I did spend a long time in fact hanging around some women that I couldn't realise if they were trannies, whores, or just extremely promiscuous party girls. One of them was tall, blond, with big boobs almost coming out of her top, and her butt almost shown under her tiny skirt. I basically approached to see how this could end up, so I spent some time talking to her and her friends, she was teasing me about how ugly I am and that she would never fuck me unless I shave the beard, have a nosejob and be 30 years younger, and I was telling her she litteraly just explained that she does want to fuck me and she is thinking about it. Anyway it was a weird situation, because creepy guys were coming and telling her she is a princess or the most beautiful woman they had ever seen, which was fun to watch hanging around. I should have left way earlier though. I followed her and her friends when they moved, literally with the excuse that: "I know you like me and find me hot so I'm gonna hang around". I think she tolerated it for a while, because she was thinking I could give her money for a club or even my coat, to which I replied: "I only give my coat to girls I'm kissing". Eventually it was going nowhere though and she started getting frustrated so I told her to tell me if she wants me to leave, she said, so I did. It was a bit of fun in fact, seeing how she was also teasing all the other guys coming around her. Also her vibe of: "I am the most beautiful girl in the world, I can have everything, noone says no to me, I don't care about having anyone in my life, I love myself, I only care about beauty and money", which were things she literally told me, was kinda interesting to look up close. I think I generally kept a strong frame hanging around, but not sure how I could crack this mindset of hers and get her into doing something with me.
Lesson: Don't spend too much time on go nowhere leads, put some time threshold to not lose your whole night.

Today:

Today I only went out at night. I had a free entrance in a club so I went there. The bad thing is that this club is literally one huge room, dancefloor in the middle, tables around and bar on one side. No hidden spots, no multiple rooms, in general a bad night venue I would say, but I did like the similar party they had a month ago so I thought I would try it again. Well today the party was pretty bad as well, way fewer people, some cute/hot girls by club standards, but in this big room, when you don't even have enough of a crowd to easily lose yourself into, I feel that bad social proof can be created easily. And that is what I feel happened to me.

In the beginning I also didn't have momentum, so I took some time just chilling looking at my phone and not even approaching girls a bit away from me at the bar. I think this was the worst move, because the night started passing and I had no leads. I believe I have to see how exactly to make the first approach in a club effectively, I feel I am getting a lot of instant rejections. At least tonight my whole night was instant rejections basically, at some point certain latin songs I know how to dance started playing and I was offering my hand to dance to girls around me and they were rejecting me one after the other. I think this It was probably a stupid move to just request a dance from almost every girl in the area, it probably came from my social dancing experience but in the club it build a bad social proof. I did open certain girls more directly, I also chatted a bit with some married mothers in the smoking area, but generally it was just a bad night
Lessons: 1) Find a club better suited for seduction in general, and have more alternatives
2) Start approaching early and be as low key as you can to not showcase your rejections to everyone
3) If it's not looking good after a point just leave, don't waste your time if you don't see potential
One thing to mention here is that in general my club game is bad, I have one same night pull ( which I did orchestrate a bit in fact, wasn't pure luck ), and generally most of the times I can't even have sets hook, girls seem to want to do nothing with me when I open. One today even told me after we only exchanged some eye contact on the dance floor, that I am not her type and she is not interested, although I look good, and I was like what?, I didn't even try to talk you... Anyway I am sure that there are girls that maybe initially, from afar, are interested at least a bit, but I really lack the skill of how to talk and connect with them or dance and connect with inside the club. I probably have to delve deeper into the club game articles specifically. The good thing is that my personal state is getting to the point that is not affected easily by all these rejections, I mean I really can feel chill and cool after the whole club rejected me, and even reengage latter, but most of the times they just reject me again. So, although it's good that it does not affect me mentally that much, I still get no results.

After the club, I walked around a bit to see if I can maybe find any girl on the streets and had some interesting situations...

I didn't mention it previously, but on Friday I approached two girls in different groups of guys out in the street and both had a boyfriend in the group. However they were cool with me, even said they admire my balls approaching a girl surrounded by guys, and one guy even told me to come to a bar close by next week for drinks.

So I tried to do this again today, but I kinda took it a step forward... I literally approached a guy and a girl sitting at a bench together, pretty close to each and asked if they are together. It was funny because the guy told me: "No, why do you ask?", so I said to the girl: " I saw you as I was walking, liked the whole vibe and wanted to talk to you", and then the guy was basically trying to tell me that they don't want to talk, so I asked again if they are together, he said yes this time, I told him, you said no before, so I eventually asked the girl what she wants, she told me to leave and I wished them goodnight. I think the guy was picking her up, they were pretty close already though physically, so I don't really know how I could have done more in this situation or even if I wanted to in fact.
Lesson: 1) Don't be afraid of approaching girls with other guys
2) Be proactive and get to isolating the girls and having them close to you by the end of the night.

After that, I did the same in front of another club with people outside. The problem here is that the guy, who was talking to the phone with the girl in front of him, was kind of a thug, so the moment I introduced myself asking if they are together, because I like her, he literally started pushing me and shouting. I told him not to touch him and that I don't understand his language, but he kept going and eventually punched me on the face. I gave him a death stare after that pointing my finger, and he was making signals for us to go further away to fight, but apart from not wanting to fight for a girl, I am extremely weak anyway, never been to fights or done martial arts, so I would be floored. The bad thing is that as the people around intervened, I snapped and started saying if it would be bad to call the police now telling them that someone punched me, and then the bouncer of the club came and starting pushing me away furiously as I was resisting him as well. In the end I kinda relaxed, talked to some guys around and left, but I should try to control myself more in the future.
Lesson: 1) If you do approach a girl of a thug and he comes, just leave, no point trying to discuss.
2) When you get attacked, think on a broader scope, what you have to win, what to lose. Calm your nerves, don't overreact and realise that certain attacks are not even worth responding to or giving importance to.

As I kept walking I also approached another girl with an intimidating guy, I guess I was trying to get myself beat up. Nothing too important here, but was a fun one, since he said they were married, and I said: "Ok I don't get into marriages a lot of broken hearts", and started leaving, and then he said as I was going: "And maybe a broken nose", so I turned around and told him half laughing: "Maybe yours". I think his wife held him back there, didn't stay to see in fact, but it could have been dangerous, although everything went fine here
Lesson: Don't provoke people, unless you are really ready for the consequences.

After that I approached a tall slim blond girl walking towards me, totally my type, she rejected me via her friend in fact instantly, and I tried some of the techniques from the article on how to open impossible women, talking her how I am safe, to put the barbed wires away, and there was something interesting I noticed and wanted to say. I do think though that for this context of night street game with a girl being surrounded by 3-4 friends it's not very effective. Anyway then her friend told me something like: " She is very beautiful, she is not for you", and I said " No she is exactly in my league, not too beautiful, but not too ugly either", and the blonde girl started laughing by how ridiculous that sounded to her. Anyway, I asked her to tell me if she wanted me to leave and look me in the eyes, she did so I left.
Lesson: They are in your league, you just have to find the right way to meet them, so that they realise it.

Last approach was three girls walking in front of me, two blond barefoot with their heels in their hands, on the right a brunette with her shoes. I cam next to her and told her she walks very elegantly. I think the initial reaction was good, the other two girls even started talking to themselves secretly like their friend eventually found someone. We walked a bit, I asked some basic questions, not that much of a good game in fact, but wasn't quite sure how to progress, how I could take her away from the friends since they didn't seem to leave as alone completely. I probably could have made this one work in fact, it felt doable but I feel I don't even know what exactly I did wrong. I think I approached the interaction a bit like daygame and it didn't work. Maybe should have been more interesting in the conversation and not so much small talk straight away, didn't have a good hook after the open. I've got to look into night street game pulls again.
Lesson: Talking to a girl in the street at night is not like talking to a girl in the street in the day.

That's all for now. And man this was long, I don't really know if I will keep uploading posts of this size, because it takes quite some time to complete them. But my aim is to be posting new entries weekly. Let's see, may it be the beginning of some great explorations.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Ok, second week here we go!

Quite an interesting one for non seduction reasons as well. Attended some career fairs and have some job leads so we'll see on that front, I also got a renewal for my permit of staying in the country I am now for a while, so anxiety about that for the time being. I will and should focus heavily on getting some job/money making way though for this next period.

I focused way more in daygame this week, mostly because I was moving around a lot during the fairs in the day and I was also pretty well dressed, which I feel helped quite a lot for the initial reactions.

I will begin with a night interaction though. In fact this is the longest one, I was even thinking of putting it in a field report but I guess I'll let it here for now due to the lack of an end result. I was basically walking around the city after having dinner and saw a cute girl standing by herself next to the river smoking in a pretty secluded way, and I went in and opened telling her she looks like she is hiding from everyone. She was pretty receptive, I learned she was traveling around and was in my city for one two days, so I decided that ok, let's try for a same night lay with this one. After a bit of talking there, I invited her for a drink in a bar a bit further down, firstly though we went and sat at a bench for her to finish a wine bottle she already had. After that we went to the bar, and throughout this whole interaction I was having her share a number of things about her, and commenting back on the situations of her life she described, while I was trying to add some more light comments to not let everything go too deep. I probably didn't do a very good job at this, since she mentioned at some point that she feels like she is in a therapy, after which I tried getting a bit more into the present.

Then I took her for a walk, had her sit next to me by the lake, and went for a kiss after a bit, which she rejected by turning her face, kinda tried to manhandle kiss which she resisted, so I backed now. Maybe that last part wasn't the best choice, but at least I remained pretty calm and kept talking to her there for a while, to the point that when we started getting back towards her hotel she began holding my hand a bit, and locking arms while walking. At some point while approaching the hotel I tried to kiss again and received another rejection, still remaining chill. Next to her hotel we saw an open piano bar that I had never even noticed myself honestly, cool romantic place. I proposed going in and we did, had with a guy playing live jazz, a nice bartender and the owner lady offering some free homemade food. Anyway ,we sat next to each other, she kept holding my hand from time to time and staying close so eventually I went for the kiss again in this atmosphere. Another rejection, and I just told her I feel something but if she doesn't show me she wants more I won't try again. We went out for a cigarette after a bit, staying close she was even hugging cuddling with me, I was holding her close, so I went for another kiss to get another rejection. Eventually we went in again, danced a bit, quite close and romantically, and eventually the place was closing so we went out and we parted ways as I left her go to her room after asking her to come up together which she again rejected.

Now I know that these are many kissing rejections, but I was honestly feeling that as I was staying cool about all of them, she kept coming closer to me, holding hands, hugging, being all romantic more and more as the night was going by. I don't feel she was uninterested or not attracted. She did tell me she liked me but not that much, and she preferred guys that run away and she doesn't know she can have, but honestly I am not sure how I could simulate something like that in the 3-4 hours together, when this was the only night we had for anything to happen. It was a pretty sweet experience in fact in overall, I enjoyed my time with this girl, but I do feel we could have a great sexual time together, which is a shame.
Lesson: I don't exactly know if I did something particularly wrong that made her not want to get more intimate in general, so what I would say as a good lesson for this one is keeping your cool when getting rejected. While I kept going for a kiss, I was always respectful and chill about her rejections, and she was getting more comfortable around me because of that.

For the next approach I went for a very stylishly dressed made up student around my former campus. I walked next to her, and had her turn the head and notice me first, so then I also turned and told her she has a lovely style. We kept talking, she was clearly interested and was looking at me pretty deeply as I was keeping eye contact while we were taking the tram for some stops. Eventually I asked for her number to plan for a drink after some days since we were both kinda busy. No response to my first text yet, I'll probably send another one, but honestly I have no idea what I could have done differently here, the whole interaction felt solid in my eyes.
Lesson: My main lesson here is go and talk to the girls you want and keep interacting with them, without caring who else is around and what they are thinking. And in general I don't care about random people, but after starting to talk with this girl, I noticed another girl I've known and I'm pretty sure likes me while I don't, being right in front of us. And it did feel bad noticing her with my peripheral vision paying attention to our interaction, I had moments where I thought, stop flirting, that girl who knows you may not feel good you never paid that attention to her. So I am proud that I kept progressing my interaction normally, and I cared more about me, the girl I liked and the connection we could have had and not some third person's opinion.

I had another approach, similar place on the next day, but this time the girl was walking towards the gym. I stopped and complimented her on her style, she took it well, then asked how much time she has she said a bit so I recommended to sit at a bench and talk for a bit. That's when she said that well she does have to go and change before gym so she doesn't have much time. Then we talked for just a bit more, had an awkward pause, where she started leaving and I asked for her number to see her again. No response after this text either.
Lesson: I don't think the compliance request to sit for a bit was bad intrinsically, maybe though I should have persisted, it was bad that she rejected it and in general being persistent in situations like that is a HUGE hole in my game. I literally back off after the first rejection most of the times, because I don't want to feel pushy. But I could have tried to persist more here and tell her: "Come, we'll only sit for 5 minutes and then you are free to go to your gym class". Don't let negative compliance build so easily basically, it's highly improbable that after a three minute interaction she will feel: "Hmm, I didn't want to sit down and talk to this guy even for a bit, but sure let's answer his messages and go for a date!"

Next approach to discuss was interesting. I noticed a very cute model looking girl sitting in the tram I took, I sat on her side but a seat away, turned around and complimented her genuinely. I was kinda afraid she would reject me harshly, but she was so cute, sweet, and well... 15 years old haha. She was a professional model though, even showed me pics of her catwalk in a fashion show, and damn this girl, I really wanted her to be 18. It was also crazy because she was so eager to connect I even got her number. I am thinking about what to do now though, since she is so young. I suppose she can have sex when she gets 16, and I am 27, not that old myself but still... Maybe I will send an honest message along the lines of: "I know about the difference, but you looked really sweet and I'd like to see you again", or even just let it go. If anyone has experience or recommendations about similar situations it is more than welcome.
Lesson: The basic lesson is that if she is pretty, and especially if she is exactly your type of pretty, go and maybe she will receive you really well, no matter her age.

And when I thought this girl was everything, the next day I met another girl waiting for a bus in the campus that was also extremely pretty in my eyes. I mean I don't even know if something changed this week, but going up to multiple girls I consider my type of very beautiful and having them receive me very warmly was quite refreshing. Gladly the second one was a bachelor student, so quite a legal age. Anyway, she was playing with her hair while talking to me in the bus, and she just looked so cute, to the point it was kinda making me nervous. I think I screwed up a bit because my asking for a number was not very smooth, exactly because I was thinking a lot of how to do it in a way that looks natural, but not prepared, so I just blurted something like: "Ok let's just do something ( laughing), do you have whatsapp?". Later I also had to interrupt a story I was saying to get down in a station, so not sure again how good this ending felt. After texting this one she did respond, and she did respond the next day she liked our chat, I then made a comment that I hope she is enjoying the good weather and that the dinner I had told her about went well. No answer to that, so I am thinking of sending a voice message scheduler text tomorrow.
Lesson: Don't try to overthink how to make the ask smooth but not too smooth. Ask naturally, preferably during a high moment, or just tell her something along the lines of: "I like your vibe, let's grab a drink sometime". Keep it simple.

Another interaction was in fact earlier during the week. This i still don't know what exactly to think about, since I never approached in fact. We were both in the same event as we were leaving and we were the last people, she asked me whether I am going the same way so we started talking. Granted I waited for us to be the last people just because I was planning to talk to her, but she was faster haha. Well after that we talked a bit and exchanged numbers, and the next day she texted me first. We interacted over text, and eventually met very shortly two days after that. We were both running around a career fair so we just talked for a bit, and discussed of doing something next week. I will text her again to plan something, but I really don't know whether she likes me or not, she is very energetic, constantly moving, talking, extremely focused, and I cannot really read her. I will move things forward though, because just the fact she talked to me first and she texted me first, and she responds to everything and seems so eager, it feels crazy to do that with someone you don't even like really, especially when you have nothing to gain from them.
Lesson: Act normally and relaxed when girls open you, and if they are taking the reigns interacting in a high energy way, simply keep moving things forward. Talking for a bit -> cool, let's exchange numbers, texting for a bit -> cool, let's meet for a quick lunch, etc

This next one is a very short approach, but I liked it a lot, because the girls had a very nice body, quite pretty face as well and she was tall. She was also running with her luggage in the train station. I literally stopped her, made a quick compliment, she received it very warmly and she told me she is flying to another continent to visit her sister, so she has to run. So I simply asked for a number to plan something for when she comes back and she was surprisingly happy to give it. Can't say I am very positive something will happen after such a short interaction, and with her being away for a while, but you never now.
Lesson: When you see the girl with the exact body and face you like, you go no matter what. Doesn't matter if she is running around with suitcases, a genuine connection with a warm man that sees her deeply is more important than that.

And now we get to the hollywood star one haha. I have been in some theatre plays in my area, not that big of an audience, maybe 800 people this year, and that many last year as well in total, so I guess some people in the expat community recognise me seldomly, but the city is fairly big so can't say I ever felt famous even in the small scale. But well, in this approach I literally went up to talk to this very stylish woman, and she turns, she speaks my first language immediately, I get startled for a second, ask whether we know each other, and she says she knows me, because she has seen my plays. From then I told her I came there to compliment and get to know her, we talked and walked for a bit, and even asked her recommendation for a gift I wanted to buy. Before we parted ways she told me that she is a single mother of a daughter, which I think it was to gauge my reaction. I stayed cool, we exchange numbers, and even exchanged one two texts later that day, so I plan to send a scheduler text tomorrow.
Lesson: Fame does work. Or at least having some skill that you present at a high level works for sure. Keep building skills and showcase them. Not only for the attraction but also for the comfort, since the woman already knows and trusts you in some sense.

Before the previous one in fact, the same day, as I was getting into the tram, I saw a quite pretty professional woman sitting by herself, I glanced, she glanced at me and after few seconds, I moved, sat opposite to her and told her I loved the way she look and came to talk to her. She had the total eastern european aloof vibe, of responding very shortly, and basically even looking away turning her face from you, although you kinda feel she is interested. I just love this one, find it so cute. Since we were sitting there for a bit I went for a very slow interaction pattern. I have been trying to talk slowly and generally slow down my interactions, but especially in this one I left intentional gaps I was expecting her to feel, and she did feel them. I was pretty laid back, and even when I proposed to exchange numbers and plan some drink, I took out my phone, put it in front of her, and she took some seconds before she even looked at it and went to put the number. Eventually I texted her, and a day later she responded and wished a nice weekend. I will follow up with her, I have a pretty positive instinct of getting a meeting, just because I don't feel that most men she interacts with are able to sit through her aloofness and just push forward calmly and confidently.
Lesson: Slow your interactions down, especially the slower and less the girl speaks while staying with you. Don't try to keep rumbling to take care of everything. Let her invest , she wants it. Then calmly move forward.

The last on I will discuss is a bit special. Tonight I went to a club with a friend of mine. He is not really into game, he is quite into trying to improve his general communication though, and generally making friends, etc. I have been going out for nightgame alone, so when he texted today I thought of hitting a club with him. We hadn't done it before, wanted to see how it would feel, and I also wanted to make myself go for an approach even when other people that know me are around, I never do it, so wanted to see how it would work. We didn't stay in the club for long in fact, and when leaving I noticed two girls outside walking that I had seen inside the club and I felt they checked us out from afar at some point. I told him we should start walking towards them, he was hesitant, very much into the "I don't want to bother them" mindset, but I assured him we will leave if they show any such indication. The thing is when we passed next to them and I stopped almost ready to talk, they even talked first. Then after a small exchange we started walking together and one of the girls was in the middle hugging her friend on the one side and me on the other as we were talking, and my friend was a bit further away on my side. He wasn't used on all that so he wanted to observe mostly. I can't even say that I am that good in fact, but this interaction flowed quite well, the girls were in a good playful mood, so it was fun, and I guess he enjoyed it as well, that he realised some interaction like that can be done. In the end, I asked the girls, what they were planning, they said going home, so I proposed some drinks in my place, to which they said no. I didn't want to push at that moment, probably I could have done it, as I mentioned to the earlier lesson, but at that moment I decided to simply get their numbers. I don't really hope of anything much coming from these numbers, but you never know I guess.
Lesson: First of all, if you feel someone notices you, it's probably because they do, so approach. Secondly, if you are around friends that don't know about game etc, feel free to approach, but do take care of gauging where they are regarding this and putting them at ease a bit. Thirdly, build your friends up in front of the girls, I told them that my friend just came back from miami, which is also true, and they also started asking him questions, and I felt really good about it, because I mostly wanted him to see that something like this can be done and also can be a positive experience, and at the end of the night he also thanked me for it so I feel I did something good

All in all it was a pretty nice week. I think the main point I have been enjoying a lot lately is that I am getting more and more accustomed to going up to women i consider very beautiful and feeling like I deserve them or even expecting good reactions, especially during daytime. Now the next issue is how to convert these interactions to actual results, meaning dates and eventually more. This is something I have been struggling in general and it is a bit of hit to the motivation, when you talk and talk and have good interactions but the results are nowhere to be found. Also I didn't really practice nightgame this week, but being inside the club or around in the streets I still feel kinda clueless regarding how to game the dolled up very hot girls effectively. It feels like they have so many defences during the night, that even if I go to them warmly and confidently, they will not even stay to interact. Probably i have to start trying different strategies as well. Anyway, at least I am generally managing to keep a positive perspective, and I believe that feeling the abundance in your everyday life by interacting with the women you find the most attractive helps. Sooner or later some of them will respond well, and you don't need all, some are enough.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Third week now, and things kinda slowed down in this one. I did around half the approaches from the previous weeks, and I believe the main reasons are the fact I didn't have many things to do outside my place, so I ended up staying home more and also the fact that weather got really bad, so walking around daygaming as I generally do wasn't very feasible.

I am not saying these as excuses by the way, I simply feel they are the specific changes that affected me this week and I should have a plan to face them next time. For the bad weather, generally dressing warmly and taking an umbrella, and also going to areas like train stations or indoor malls with many people and good cover, could be solutions. For being inside more, I would say leaving my place a bit earlier than planned for any occasion can give me some time to approach without time pressure, also finding reasons to go out like for a supermarket or to have lunch etc.

The individual approaches this week also did not go very well. I won't write about specific interactions this time, but I noticed some patterns I want to mention. First of all, I got 3 phone numbers out of about 50 approaches with no response to my initial text by any of them. The good thing is that it made sense for things to go like that because especially during the cold daygame days I was not in relaxed state, and I could feel I wasn't grounded when I was going up to women. Interestingly, what I noticed is that when I am like that I am significantly more gamey, I tease and talk more, and lose some masculine energy, and in general my interactions feel more like me trying to get something out of the other person. So being well slept, well fed, well rested and feeling comfortable in my body when out is very important. For this last one I already mentioned good clothes and area choice for daygame as the most important factors for me.

Now due to the weather change maybe, I also felt a bit more down on some days. I also feel I wasn't very focused on doing things regarding my job search and progressing the rest of my life, which was keeping me in a state of general anxiety. I was approaching and reading articles but it felt that I wasn't following my other plans, and this was making me feel bad about myself in some ways. The solution here would be to work on the other important aspects of life and follow a schedule, so that I don't think about women all the time during the day, and also don't feel bad about not doing anything during the day when I do eventually go out to talk to women. This can probably help with me having a more positive outlook when I go out and randomly see women around me. In general, if I don't plan an approach session, it is quite difficult to get into socially seductive mode in the scenario that I suddenly see a woman I like. I will still push myself to go and open, but it feels less natural and I am way more timid, which rarely leads to results, even if the interaction is ok. So doing things important for me, my future and well-being every single day is crucial to have a constant vibe of someone living a good life that a woman would be curious about.

Something else I want to mention is that I feel quite emotionally affected at this point, every time I go to my bachata classes and end up dancing with the girl I like the most there. It feels like it is a reminder every single week that I can be around these kinds of women, be friendly with them, but they would never get with someone like me. Sometimes it feels truly painful after the class, especially when my general mood is not that good and I don't have any good results from approaches. And I am sure it affects my approaches as well, because if I know that the girls I approach confidently in the street would lose interest watching me in my social circles, then it feels I have to oversell myself in order to get them, and I get unconsiously try-hard. Is it true that I would look unattractive if they knew me more? I don't fully know, I am surely not particularly high status in my social circles, but I do get some signs of interest from girls, with the ones I usually like the most though I end up getting a lot of friendly interactions, which are even more painful than rejections to be honest, since I know the girls are nice people, but they just don't see any value in me as a man and sexual prospect.

All in all, I have to deal with all this in my mind somehow. I am approaching again and again girls of the exact type I like, and I guess I hope I will eventually succeed with some of them and start building the confidence that I can get them. I am thinking that some visualisations, letting go mediations etc can help, too. I am also thinking of tweaking my approach in certain scenarios like nightgame, but I don't really know what's the issue with daygame, because I go, I talk, some interactions are very nice, the girls look like they enjoy them and give their numbers, but then nothing. I know it is a number's game, but in the end I start to wonder how many numbers I have to put in to get even one girl that would be the type I exactly want, and even if it happens, how do I even remain non-needy when I know it is so difficult to get them interested in me. I am thinking how much it is my fundamentals that affect all that, and how much the general state I project, I mean that I give an underlying feeling of "I am approaching you trying to connect and get you out". And I wouldn't say I like this mindset, but by default I feel it when I talk to moving girls for few seconds, I don't have time to know anything about them and I am just curious to take them out and get to know them then. One thing here would be to also approach people who are more relaxed and sitting down, which I do, but in daygame a lot of times it leads to the nice chat with no date or in nightgame I literally get ignored or rejected right at the open, and literally the percentage of my openings that hook is tiny, and it's not that I even have time to use many hooking techniques judging by how disengaged or openly dismissive most hot girls are right away in nightlife.

The solutions I have thought about these are firstly taking care of my fundamentals as much as I can, and then as I mentioned changing my approach in nightgame. I have been opening pretty direct with a compliment or even my indirect was more about getting in a chat then and there with a group of girls. And I think I want to try being way more outcome independent and really just walk around talk to guys and girls and try some shotgun openers and some social circling social proofing techniques, since the clubs in my area are not that big. When it comes to daygame, I have been striving to come across warmer and less gamey, and leaving this week aside, it seems to be working, and I just want to see what I can use to hook the girls better and increase the probability of a date. Compliance is quite a big issue I have, and I simply feel I should start asking for more faster, the reason I am not is because I feel in short interactions in the street obviously the girl is not gonna comply, but this is a limiting belief and I should study compliance techniques and work on them. It's highly probable that by using less teases and becoming warmer and more genuine I have also been decreasing how much of a challenge I come across. And for me, I have felt there is a very fine line between genuinely complimenting a girl confidently on the open and apprearing as a low value guy smitten by her.

Connected to all that, are my 4 dates/insta dates during the last two weeks. It was impossible to sexualise any of them. Amazing conversations and connections, but in the end the whole sexual energy, desire and escalation was lacking. I almost feel I have been banging my head against the wall the way they have all gone. I posted a field report of one of them, and the others are fairly similar, to the point that I have started thinking that connection based courtship does not work for me. I know I can probably make it work, but right now the deeper I get with a woman in person the more we end up coming closer as friends, and the less she feels like sleeping fast with me. I have been trying to approach dates and interactions from a more genuine, warm, gentlemanly standpoint, because I have read that the highest value women really appreciate these and don't like party guys. And I am really not a party guy, so this approach of courtship felt very appealing in order to get the highest caliber women. So my main problem now is how to make such courtship move towards sex, without looking needy or desperate to sleep with the girl by talking about sex or making moves, when she is not giving me much. My feeling now, after losing so much time in these last dates, is to simply go back to talking way more directly about sexuality, my opinions and what she likes about sex, as I have done successfully in the past, and maybe if I go towards that from the place I am right now in my communication, I can reach a middle point where I am open about sexual topics, and discuss about them, but in a more sophisticated way that can preserve some attainability, so that I don't just come off as the sexual guy to hook up with, but more like the lover of women that can provide a holistic experience including amazing sex.

That's it for this week, as a summary, I was a bit more down mood wise which affected my interactions, and I should get my everyday schedule handled, building wins that will make me feel good about myself. I should also continue going at it, being more bold and demanding, and since I have been working on coming across warmly and genuinely, adding up some more sexual and dominant element can bring a much needed spice.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

New week new stories. Coming back from the previous one, I focused on coming across more sexual when approaching and during the interactions. The first thing I did to get there was masturbate again. I hadn't done it for weeks in fact, and I realised that when I was at my most sexual state I used to masturbate usually. So I went at it, and really just getting in touch with the penis again and feeling the arousal was enough to make me get in a sexual state while approaching way more easily. Next thing I did was that whenever I was outside and feeling not grounded, I started slowing down my pace, and breathing into my genitals, if it makes sense. At least I felt it helped to project a more sexual masculine vibe during the approaches I used it, can't say I managed it well all the time though. Being tired and lacking sleep does affect the state I project a lot and in general and these last days I got pretty busy day and night, but at least I didn't use it as an excuse to not approach.

I also went back and watched some videos of Zan Perrion because his direct no excuses lover style always appealed to me. I feel the main thing I am lacking from his approach is how to not overwhelm women when coming up and openly saying I would like to get to know them, because I am intrigued by their feminine energy or similar. It felt that I had some interactions where I was quite intense in my directness, and yes it was polarizing, but I probably need some more playfulness added in the right doses, to not create too much tension with the approach. I also tried to make more statements and less questions and to persist a bit more, but doing it in ways that don't come off as needy or pushy is something I should work more on.

Regarding the specific interactions, no real results this week either, I did get some phone numbers but they never responded. I had some interesting situations though, so I will mention some of them.

I approached a girl coming inside the train station. She was pretty tall, dressed very stylishly, with a hat that was covering her face while looking down at her phone. I stopped her and told her a version of: I saw you walking, and you have such a lovely feminine energy, I wanted to come and talk. My delivery was quite grounded and I could see she was intrigued, I kept solid eye contact and after exchanging names and some basic info, she told me she had to catch a train for the bar she works. I walked with her a bit until the platform and had a playful chat, and during it I could feel the energy between us, she was at least interested in the sense of: who is this guy? When I proposed to see her again though she did say she had a boyfriend, which I believe.
Lesson: It is possible if you are in tune with your masculine core to polarize sexually women very fast on the approach.

Now this woman from the previous approach was in fact very attractive to me, so it was good to see that I can have this effect even on women I really like. Since I've been having quite a dry spell though with no sex for quite some time, I have also been going up to girls that felt just cute.

For the next approach I saw a girl going up the stairs in another train station and coming from behind her I opened about her feminine energy again. She surely was interested, but said she was going to an afterparty with friends. That's when I asked her to come hang out with me instead. I wasn't expecting it to work, and it didn't, but I at least went for a close and persisted a bit from the frame of: you look like a woman I want to spend more time with, and I want to do it now. I took her number in the end, but no response.
Lesson: Nothing bad will happen by inviting women to come with you, so do it, don't be afraid.

Another approach later the same night was a sitting girl outside a fast food place. Again direct open, she also clearly liked me, I sat down we chatted in a playfully flirty fashion for quite a bit, but she also said she had a boyfriend. I kept talking, since she wasn't leaving, trying to see whether I could work around the boyfriend and have her come to my place, but didn't work. Eventually she left with her other friends that were around.
Lesson: Attraction is not enough, they can like you even a lot, but there is much more needed to get the girls.

And I will close with this approach. After I left the previous interaction, I shortly saw two girls sitting around talking. I approached them and said I liked how one of them looked, and they were both pretty excited. I believe the one I initially like was interested as well, but sadly only her friend could speak english. So I ended up mostly talking to the friend, and to be honest she had a more exciting vibe about her. Neither of the two was that attractive, after seeing them both up close, but I could work with either, so I decided to stay in the interaction and see what I could make out of it. Turned out they were waiting for a male friend, who came and then they started chatting in their language with me in the middle. At that moment they decided not to go for an afterparty but to head back to their homes. I could leave then, but realised I could stay a bit more and take the same train back with the more talkative girl, not the one I approached initially. So I did, I stayed there with them, having almost 0 contribution to their discussion and in the end we just took the same train. Inside we sat close to each other and I started teasing her, talking about how she was saying she was all crazy and adventurous. The bad thing was that she had gotten very tired by that time, which was around 5am, and she said she had a meeting next morning, so she really wanted to go sleep. I teased her a bit more, and invited her to dance, so she was like: "why not dance here?". I responded sure, took her up and started dancing inside of the moving train, while some guys from different seats put on lating music for us. This lasted for about a minute, we sat back, and she was clearly all excited and into me, but was insisting to not come with me. So I told her:"Look at me", she did and I went for a short kiss, which she liked quite a bit. I asked her to come with me again, and during all this time giving different arguments and solutions to her issue, like that my place is very close to the train station, that she could stay only for a bit, or even sleep there. Nothing worked eventually she kept saying no, I tried to kiss again and she resisted, calling me crazy, so I eventually left to get down at my station after inviting her once last time, and wishing her a good night.
Lesson: Don't let a girl get to the point of being tired and wanting to finish her night if you don't know that you can logistically do something with her then. It can be possible to bring her to a state of desire, but it may be difficult to have her change her early plans for the next day. Take the lead and move things forward faster and more effectively.

I had some other approaches, but I think I am getting tired and sleepy after this weekend and the quality of the post will deteriorate if I start putting even more of them here. The thing is with most of them I don't really know whether I am doing something very wrong or it is just that the women that happened to be interested in me really are in faithful relationships. I am not the type of guy that will go for a girl in a relationship specifically, but I have noticed lately that a lot of the girls that stay in an interaction with me for some minutes clearly interested, end up having a boyfriend and rejecting a request to come out, which kinda frustrates me. My goal still remains to approach more masculine and sexual, while maintaining a balance with a warm comforting energy, and I do believe in the possible end result, that said as long as I stay with no sex after more and more approaches it starts to affect me. And I see that some of all these women I approach are clearly intrigued by me and look interested, so it gets even more crazy that I can't seem to get any out and close.

Anyway, this week I am visiting family for vacation, so it will be quite relaxed, probably not many, if any, approaches, and I want to read some articles and posts on hooking, creating compliance, and preventing flakes, because I feel these are topics that I can really use some help.

One other thought from last week is that I still have no idea how to run seduction in social circles. To the point that I don't see why go to social functions anymore. I mean I do it, sometimes if it is a party I can also dance and have fun, but every time it's the same thing in the end: an empty feeling of ok, it was nice, but again I did nothing with any of the girls I liked. And I mean there are even girls in some of these situations that clearly look interested, but I cannot comprehend how to escalate in ways that won't ruin my reputation in these social circles. From what I have read around regarding social circle game, it pays to not openly pursue girls and be more neutral in general , which I more or less do, I don't even interact with the others that much in fact, apart from the specific function of the circle, eg dancing for a dance class. How to close there though bugs me a lot, since I feel that many girls would expect something serious to come out of it, while with most of them I would only want something casual. And they already see how I behave day to day, so I feel I can't just suddenly start being the sexual lover badboy that is expected to only sleep around. The only thing I am thinking now is just letting the girls chase hard, and if and when they do, the close will come naturally. This in theory sounds good, but I have never made anything like that work. So I do need to see what to do with social circles, because if cold approach rejections can be frustrating, this is frustrating times ten being around cute girls time after time and nothing happening.

Last point for this week, something more positive. I met with a guy friend of mine and a girl friend of mine I hadn't seen for a long while. This girl was one I was crushing on 2 years ago as well, so it was interesting for me to see how I would feel seeing her again. And what happened is that I did recognize what she had... I mean she still looks cute, but that's the thing, after approaching and talking to so many pretty women lately, she did look just cute. So this makes me think that I am slowly reaching the point of most women that I meet in person not overwhelming me with their looks. I am getting more and more comfortable around attractive women, to the point that most don't feel like a very big deal. Now the only thing left is to find ways to get them, because surely they don't intimidate me that much, but I still desire some of them, and there are no results to be found.

 

[JT Sunshine]

One other thought from last week is that I still have no idea how to run seduction in social circles. To the point that I don't see why go to social functions anymore. I mean I do it, sometimes if it is a party I can also dance and have fun, but every time it's the same thing in the end: an empty feeling of ok, it was nice, but again I did nothing with any of the girls I liked. And I mean there are even girls in some of these situations that clearly look interested, but I cannot comprehend how to escalate in ways that won't ruin my reputation in these social circles. From what I have read around regarding social circle game, it pays to not openly pursue girls and be more neutral in general , which I more or less do, I don't even interact with the others that much in fact, apart from the specific function of the circle, eg dancing for a dance class. How to close there though bugs me a lot, since I feel that many girls would expect something serious to come out of it, while with most of them I would only want something casual. And they already see how I behave day to day, so I feel I can't just suddenly start being the sexual lover badboy that is expected to only sleep around. The only thing I am thinking now is just letting the girls chase hard, and if and when they do, the close will come naturally. This in theory sounds good, but I have never made anything like that work. So I do need to see what to do with social circles, because if cold approach rejections can be frustrating, this is frustrating times ten being around cute girls time after time and nothing happening.

I did a TON of social circle game when I was younger, and you might just be overthinking it. It’s very chill and low risk if you play it right.

When you’re talking to someone in social circle, use strong eye contact and smile but don’t be overtly sexual. Keep it low key. If she is responding well to the chat, ask “have you ever been to ____ bar or coffee shop?” If she says no, say “we should go sometime”. If she says yes, say “I hear it’s good and I’ve never been, we should go sometime!”

If she says yes, great. You can escalate when you’re out alone with her away from the social circle. If she says no, who cares, asking a girl to go to Starbucks with you won’t ruin your reputation.

Other option at a house party is to invite her outside for some “fresh air”, a smoke, to look at the stars, whatever. Then you can escalate away from your peer group and she will be much more inclined to go with it when no one is around to judge.

If after you hook up they want something serious and you don’t, just tell her you like her a lot but you’re not looking for anything long term. She can choose to stick around and fuck you or not. Again, nothing lost (I realize this is easier said than done) …. and when you do end up banging girls from your social circle, don’t tell your social circle about it. If she wants to tell her friends she will, if not, don’t violate her trust and ruin the secret. Discretion is KEY to repeat social circle lays. Girls don’t want to be branded as sluts.

Keep up the good work approaching

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I did a TON of social circle game when I was younger, and you might just be overthinking it. It’s very chill and low risk if you play it right.

When you’re talking to someone in social circle, use strong eye contact and smile but don’t be overtly sexual. Keep it low key. If she is responding well to the chat, ask “have you ever been to ____ bar or coffee shop?” If she says no, say “we should go sometime”. If she says yes, say “I hear it’s good and I’ve never been, we should go sometime!”

If she says yes, great. You can escalate when you’re out alone with her away from the social circle. If she says no, who cares, asking a girl to go to Starbucks with you won’t ruin your reputation.

Other option at a house party is to invite her outside for some “fresh air”, a smoke, to look at the stars, whatever. Then you can escalate away from your peer group and she will be much more inclined to go with it when no one is around to judge.

If after you hook up they want something serious and you don’t, just tell her you like her a lot but you’re not looking for anything long term. She can choose to stick around and fuck you or not. Again, nothing lost (I realize this is easier said than done) …. and when you do end up banging girls from your social circle, don’t tell your social circle about it. If she wants to tell her friends she will, if not, don’t violate her trust and ruin the secret. Discretion is KEY to repeat social circle lays. Girls don’t want to be branded as sluts.

Keep up the good work approaching

Thanks a lot! You are probably right about me overthinking. In fact I once did pursue a girl that ended up in my place and gave me LMR I couldn't pass, who afterwards happened to be around social circle situations with me and friends, neither of us ever mentioned anything, and things were cool.

My main concern with social circle is not so much whether they will reject me, that is fine, the fastest the better in fact, so I can go find girls who want me. It is that if I go around and pursue different girls eventually people will realise, and especially guys with more influence in the circle could see me as a problem if I succeed, and if I don't, I will look like a low value guy that noone desires. I suppose if I manage to be discreet in the sense of not asking for dates or escalating in front of others as you say, things can work out better.

Isn't it still too obvious though to just talk a bit with a girl you have been seeing around for quite a while and suddenly ask for a coffee? To me it feels that her thoughts will be: "Wait what, why now, has he been crushing on me and was a pussy until today?". That's why I always felt that what I wanted to do even in social circles was being direct the moment I saw the girl, since I anyway knew from the beginning if I wanted to explore something with her. But then I read that many people recommend going more low key, and not showing any interest until she does first while showing off how excellent you are. This feels strange to me, not in the sense that it wouldn't work, I understand how it would, but for me internally I know when I see some girls pretty immediately that I desire them, so not being open about it makes me feel I am hiding the banana and I am incongruent by being friendly, when I clearly want more.

So in the end I feel it is more of a timing issue. If I meet a girl in a social circle that I like right away, is it bad to just go up immediately and open her direct and ask her out? I am pretty sure that even if she says no I can be cool with it, and in fact I will respect myself more for going for it and getting rejected than for playing the game of being social and getting to know her over time. And if I have been seeing a girl around a circle for a while, is it ok to just one day go and ask her out? I feel I would need some explanation on why I am doing it now, and haven't done it all this time, or it will feel uncalibrated.

All in all, regarding social circles I feel I should mainly try to find these more private moments to escalate the interactions, which sometimes have worked, but I wouldn't say I have been very good at orchestrating them. Maybe I am just overthinking it, believing that there is no way a girl will want to leave the circle and come out alone with me, since we obviously both know where this is headed. But honestly, throughout my life and my dating experiences till now, the most direct I have been, the most in peace with myself I have been, which is why this whole social circle low key strategy makes me feel uneasy. I should probably just be more openly direct in the end, not hitting on them hard direct, but openly communicating there is something about them i would like to explore more direct.

 

[JT Sunshine]

My main concern with social circle is not so much whether they will reject me, that is fine, the fastest the better in fact, so I can go find girls who want me. It is that if I go around and pursue different girls eventually people will realise, and especially guys with more influence in the circle could see me as a problem if I succeed, and if I don't, I will look like a low value guy that noone desires. I suppose if I manage to be discreet in the sense of not asking for dates or escalating in front of others as you say, things can work out better.

Should work out better like this at least... as long as you're not stealing everyone's girlfriends I don't think other guys would see you as a problem.

Isn't it still too obvious though to just talk a bit with a girl you have been seeing around for quite a while and suddenly ask for a coffee? To me it feels that her thoughts will be: "Wait what, why now, has he been crushing on me and was a pussy until today?". That's why I always felt that what I wanted to do even in social circles was being direct the moment I saw the girl, since I anyway knew from the beginning if I wanted to explore something with her. But then I read that many people recommend going more low key, and not showing any interest until she does first while showing off how excellent you are. This feels strange to me, not in the sense that it wouldn't work, I understand how it would, but for me internally I know when I see some girls pretty immediately that I desire them, so not being open about it makes me feel I am hiding the banana and I am incongruent by being friendly, when I clearly want more.

No that makes perfect sense. If it's a girl you've known for a year, yes, that could definitely be a bit weird. Unless you've never had a real conversation beyond "hi" before. The vibe could be more of an "oh shit, I've never *actually* talked to you before until now but you seem really cool and we should hang out some time"

So in the end I feel it is more of a timing issue. If I meet a girl in a social circle that I like right away, is it bad to just go up immediately and open her direct and ask her out? I am pretty sure that even if she says no I can be cool with it, and in fact I will respect myself more for going for it and getting rejected than for playing the game of being social and getting to know her over time. And if I have been seeing a girl around a circle for a while, is it ok to just one day go and ask her out? I feel I would need some explanation on why I am doing it now, and haven't done it all this time, or it will feel uncalibrated.

Not bad at all if you just met. She might be into you too and why waste any time if she is? If you've seen her around for a while but think she might like you, go for a more chill approach to it and see what happens. If you've known each other for a while and have never made any type of move/shown any interest, proceed at your own risk, but this might come off uncalibrated and I would just try with someone else.

I should probably just be more openly direct in the end, not hitting on them hard direct, but openly communicating there is something about them i would like to explore more direct.

This ^^^ and if they're down to explore, go as direct as you'd like.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Should work out better like this at least... as long as you're not stealing everyone's girlfriends I don't think other guys would see you as a problem.


No that makes perfect sense. If it's a girl you've known for a year, yes, that could definitely be a bit weird. Unless you've never had a real conversation beyond "hi" before. The vibe could be more of an "oh shit, I've never *actually* talked to you before until now but you seem really cool and we should hang out some time"


Not bad at all if you just met. She might be into you too and why waste any time if she is? If you've seen her around for a while but think she might like you, go for a more chill approach to it and see what happens. If you've known each other for a while and have never made any type of move/shown any interest, proceed at your own risk, but this might come off uncalibrated and I would just try with someone else.



This ^^^ and if they're down to explore, go as direct as you'd like.

Hey thanks a lot for the responses! It helps me clear some things in my mind ! At least I feel I understand a bit how some of these interactions work, and when it would be more calibrated/uncalibrated to make a move and how.

There are times I have managed to propose something with a girl pretty fast by "happening" to be more alone with her, and I have a friend in fact that I decided not to pursue after such a scenario. She has a boyfriend now and I didn't mind when I learned it, so I know it's a friendship in my control.

Other times I haven't managed to find an early isolation and excuse to hang out. In this scenario I generally stay around without getting to know her that much, so that I can make a move when it does happen, with the vibe of "oh shit" that you explain. It does prevent me from building a circle with more friends, since you don't really get to know some people, but I guess it is better than just becoming friends with girls I like and constantly thinking: "Does she like me back, does she not?".

The only thing I should probably think about in this case is not waiting for the most perfect and smooth moment when I meet someone to ask them out, and be ok to even do it when I haven't talked to them that much and the only plan is: "I would like to get to know you more, let's have a drink sometime". I do have this in cold approach sometime as well, because I try to talk to a girl and smoothly transition from something that she says to an invite, but it's not always easy, especially in street game that everything happens really fast. Probably simply asking after a high point can make it work well by being smooth.

I'm pretty sure I've had girls in the past that wanted stuff from me in social circles, but I never liked all the politics of it, and didn't know how to manage it, so I decided to go full cold approach, the freedom of which I like a lot. Then I realised that there are also attractive girls in some of my circles and it is a bit stupid and also frustrating being around them and doing nothing. So yeah, I will be primarily going for cold approach, at least until I build circles with constant influx of many very hot women, and at the same time looking for opportunities to enjoy my circles sexually a bit more.

Thanks for the responses again!

 

[ChrisXKiss]

A small update for this week. As I mentioned last time, I visited my family and spent these last days with them, so I didn't do any approaches. I'm going back to my place tomorrow and I expect to get back to my everyday functions.

During this time here, I tried to connect again with some girls I had lost touch with these last weeks. I had one who told me that she didn't text after my approach, because she has a boyfriend and felt bad about it, another that told me she now found a boyfriend, a third one said she is starting to see someone more seriously now, and there are also few that may be possible to move things forward with, we'll see.

At the same time, I played a bit with dating apps in this area I am now it was simply depressive. I don't know if it is the combination that I was not approaching and also swiping without getting any matches, excluding 2-3 girls I didn't like at all, but the thing is I almost broke down multiple times this week.

This feeling that I am unable to be with the women I like, and the thought that I may never manage to do it is maddening. I honestly don't see a point in just making a relationship with a cute girl, and living this average life finding a good job and staying together. I see most people around me doing it and I simply cannot comprehend it, and I don't mean logically, I understand why people live like that, it's just that the thought of me living this life as well almost drives me crazy.

Now I don't mean that I want to be an eternal bachelor sleeping around with hundreds of women, the number itself doesn't matter to me although I'd like to be able to get sex when I desire it, but I what I really want is to know I have choice and absolute abundance, and when I feel like I want a relationship or even a family I can go and find a woman exactly how I want her and have one with her.

And the thing is sometimes it feels like maybe I will never reach that. I go out and approach again and again, I've gotten pretty ok with rejection, I'm chasing less and less, but it still feels like a constant struggle, going after something, beautiful women, that I don't have and want in my life.

I have seen some advice online, from people like Brian Begin in his fearless channel, about how to let all women go to attract them, or from guys like Zan Perrion, saying he only sends invitations as man, and I don't really understand how to get results when you develop mindsets like these.

Clearly my approach of going up and talking to women I like no matter what has not been working that well, but I have this issue that if there are certain types of women that I would want in my life, I just don't see how I can simply be ok with not getting them.

It feels a bit like I am alone versus the world, I go out walk around and when I see a woman I go and do my best to get her. I know this frame is not good, but I struggle a lot having a different one. It's not like I have 10 models texting me, so when I see the next one I can be chill and not care that much, simply finding out if she is the right fit for me.

Even when I strategically manage to do that, it feels that most of the times women either don't give me the time of day during the approach or don't come out with me for a date after it, and even if they do, things rarely get anywhere sexually. Now I understand that the first part is probably a fundamentals problem, and I have to work on them if I want to be attractive to attractive women.

The second one though is something I am having a lot of trouble with and has to do with trying to balance getting to know a girl deeply and escalating sexually. I feel I either end up having deep discussions that connect us, but don't lead to bed, or that I come off as someone who is there only for the sex, which also rarely leads to bed.

I have been looking around, reading about techniques on how to express both in a calibrated way, so I will see how it will evolve. I have also been thinking to try and adopt a mindset of: I like talking about sexuality, and I want to have a sexual connection, this is who I am, and what I can offer is a unique sexual experience. I feel that through this I will connect with all women more directly sexually, if they want it fine, if not fine as well.

All in all, only when approaching I feel I am doing something in the end. I mean there is a feeling of freedom about it and a feeling of going after what I want, that I love deeply, and I lose that when I don't approach. At the same time though going after what I want and not getting it again and again sometimes makes me doubt if I ever will. It's not that I have any other choice though, if I don't approach I have nothing, and as I said just one week passed of me not going after it and simply the thought of never being with the women I want began driving me crazy.

I am in pretty bad financial situation as well now, but when it gets better I want to go get some coaching. I've been doing it all by myself thus far, daygaming alone and going to clubs alone and I feel sometimes I don't even know what are the very bad things I am doing, and what other things could get results.

Until then I will keep going, doing my best to come off as abundant even though I am not, and expressing my sexuality openly.