I should start with a bit about me for context – I’m 31, I’ve used a lot of the teachings from this site to great effect, both in my romantic life but also in my social life, but I’d never profess to the aim of being able to seduce any girl I wanted. So I’m far from a polished machine, but I know the basics, and I’ve been very fortunate in life that I tend to do well on dates, and if I realise I actually like her, I’ll end up continuing to date her/hook up with her/make her my girlfriend.
Met a girl on a dating app –I’d say she was very hot anyway, but subjectively, she was absolutely my type. We go out for drinks, and I’m keeping the conversation fun with push/pull and teasing, but focussed on her, and deep diving and qualifying at times, and she is laughing at everything I’m saying. At this point I’m thinking that she has a lot interests/qualities that I look for in a girl, we share a lot of interests and seem to have clicked. I ended up kissing her after the second drink because it felt right. We get some food, and continue talking, and she starts sharing more personal stuff, including going to therapy, and then talking about her nerdiness and saying things like ‘i never tell anyone this on a first date’.
She asks about deal-breakers and says one of hers is about wanting kids, and I say that;s fine because I’m pretty sure I would like them at some point. She then says that she knows she shouldn’t ask these questions on a first date etc, and I just said she didn’t need to apologise, that i was having fun and that I would like to go out again, if she was up for it. I was a bit under the influence and immediately regretted saying it, but she just joked back saying ‘what a question to ask a girl on a first date, but yeah I would’
At this point, given she lives on the other side of London and the fact that she had injured her ankle earlier, I take her to the train station, we kiss goodbye, but then as I’m saying goodbye, she says it was nice to meet me. I remember thinking that was a bit of an odd thing to say, but just chalk it up to not thinking on her feet. I follow Chase’s texting guide and send her a message the next day saying I had fun, and hoped she got home OK, and get left on read. 2 days later, i follow up with the standard scheduler, and she replies within minutes apologising for not replying as she was feeling sorry for ankle, and then saying she had ‘a great time, but didn’t think there was the spark of connection, and wish she felt differently because I was an absolute hoot’
I’m now a bit confused/pranged out because it felt like we got on super well (this is the second time this has happened this year), and I’ve always thought that one of my strengths in dating is my ability to build a connection with someone. I admit I didn’t deep dive as much as usual, and wonder if I got carried away because we seemed to have good chemistry, shared interests and seemed like my type, but it definitely felt like we enjoyed ourselves enough for a second date. Could me asking her out on a second date be a major fuck up? Or could the ‘no connection’ just be a nice way of saying she doesn’t find me attractive? Or is this one of those things where I’m never going to know what’s going on in her head?
Met a girl on a dating app –I’d say she was very hot anyway, but subjectively, she was absolutely my type. We go out for drinks, and I’m keeping the conversation fun with push/pull and teasing, but focussed on her, and deep diving and qualifying at times, and she is laughing at everything I’m saying. At this point I’m thinking that she has a lot interests/qualities that I look for in a girl, we share a lot of interests and seem to have clicked. I ended up kissing her after the second drink because it felt right. We get some food, and continue talking, and she starts sharing more personal stuff, including going to therapy, and then talking about her nerdiness and saying things like ‘i never tell anyone this on a first date’.
She asks about deal-breakers and says one of hers is about wanting kids, and I say that;s fine because I’m pretty sure I would like them at some point. She then says that she knows she shouldn’t ask these questions on a first date etc, and I just said she didn’t need to apologise, that i was having fun and that I would like to go out again, if she was up for it. I was a bit under the influence and immediately regretted saying it, but she just joked back saying ‘what a question to ask a girl on a first date, but yeah I would’
At this point, given she lives on the other side of London and the fact that she had injured her ankle earlier, I take her to the train station, we kiss goodbye, but then as I’m saying goodbye, she says it was nice to meet me. I remember thinking that was a bit of an odd thing to say, but just chalk it up to not thinking on her feet. I follow Chase’s texting guide and send her a message the next day saying I had fun, and hoped she got home OK, and get left on read. 2 days later, i follow up with the standard scheduler, and she replies within minutes apologising for not replying as she was feeling sorry for ankle, and then saying she had ‘a great time, but didn’t think there was the spark of connection, and wish she felt differently because I was an absolute hoot’
I’m now a bit confused/pranged out because it felt like we got on super well (this is the second time this has happened this year), and I’ve always thought that one of my strengths in dating is my ability to build a connection with someone. I admit I didn’t deep dive as much as usual, and wonder if I got carried away because we seemed to have good chemistry, shared interests and seemed like my type, but it definitely felt like we enjoyed ourselves enough for a second date. Could me asking her out on a second date be a major fuck up? Or could the ‘no connection’ just be a nice way of saying she doesn’t find me attractive? Or is this one of those things where I’m never going to know what’s going on in her head?
