Dilemma with old flame

[J-S28]

Hi all, SORRY FOR THE HUGE ESSAY, BUT IT'S A LONG LONG STORY...

Having a bit of confusion right now over the girl who was my first love, basically it all began when we met about 12 years ago. I was 16 at the time. She jsut so happened to be the sister of my best friend at the time, which made things difficult, my friend constantly told his sister that she couldn't date me. So it kind of ruled it out! Anyway, I ended up ending my friendship with my then friend and never had contact with him or her again. But she would still from time to time cross my mind and I wondered what had happened to her after all this time, so I decided to send her a text on the off chance she still had the same number, anyway she responded and we then began to text every so often. I tried to suggest coffee but she didn;t seem too willing to begin with and would just dodge the question, then she suggested we meet but she was never free, few months later, she then texted me and hinted at meeting again, this time I avoided the question thinking she wasn't serious.

Anyway, long story short, she contacted me yet again two weeks ago and wanted to meet, so we arranged it much to my suprise and met up, I went along and didn't expect much from it. But within ten minutes it was clear we still had a huge connection and I was thinking this was a great move, that was until I discovered she had a boyfriend and had been with him for six years, turns out though she dosen't want to marry him or have kids with him or even live with him.

we had a fantastic meet, we couldn't stop staring at each other and laughing, we nearly kissed, it was amazing despite knowing she had a boyfriend, we have texted since and we texted alot just after the meet and she was keen to meet again. Suddenly though, she has gone completely cold and stopped responding to my texts, I haven;t text her for a week now after her last no response.

So now, I'm left in a weird situation, a ton of feelings have been reborn after many years and I really want closure again.

Is it best to continue what I am doing now? Not contacting her at all? Or should I contact her?

If anyone has any insight on what could be going through her head?

Thanks in advance.

 

[Mr. oblivious]

1. she could of probably rethought the situation and opted out

2.Boyfriend found out got mad

3. She holds a grudge against ya for cutting all connections with her (just making stabs not sure if any of these possibilities may be correct)

Anyways you should of tried moving her and closing her even with the boyfriend situation because if you have a boyfriend of 6 years and you don't have any intentions of settling down with him its kinda a sign something isn't quite right there

she probably just want to experience a wild adventure since she is probably 28 and doesn't want her sex life and social life to become purely what it has been for the last 6 years

 

[J-S28]

Thanks Yoda,

Yes, I reckon you are right on one those three, I've decided to put closure on it now, I'm sick of wondering whether she will get back in touch or not, so I've messaged her again, just a jokey message. If she dosen't respond, I am planning on just saying goodbye to her via text, either she will decide to actually stop messing around or it will be the end. I'd rather have closure than by allowing her to contact me when she pleases and toying with my emotions..

 

[Doctor]

You need to be ruthless or this is going to kill you! You can get so many crazy feelings going on in your head about 'the one that got away' that fanning the flames like this is often a bad idea.

I would definitely say just never speak to her again to save yourself from becoming like Sisyphus!

If you do want to give it one last shot though I would follow these steps;
Text her to arrange a meet - be VERY clear in your intentions.
If she doesn't agree then never speak to her again.
Be very careful here, girls will say things like "I'm really busy this week but maybe I have some time next week." and they will do this to keep you hanging on, forever (see the Legend of Sisyphus above!). If she doesn't say yes with a certain date and time then NEXT!
If she flakes NEXT!
If she comes on the date then try your absolute best to sleep with her that day.
If you don't sleep with her then NEXT!

You will probably be needing this article though, and by the way, I'm talking about PERMANENT nexting here.

Revisiting an old flame is 99.9% of the time a bad idea, especially if you didn't sleep with her the first time.

Focusing on yourself or new girls is a much better time investment in my opinion.

-Doctor