Disability and Seduction

[foggy]

A guy I went to high school with is mute and has cerebral palsy. In person, he communicates by typing on a note pad in his phone, then he shows you it. He is an intelligent guy. He is fully functional besides the fact that he unable to verbally talk, doesn't have full use of one of his arms, and walks with a limp.

He has expressed frustration to me before about the fact that he has difficulties with girls. He has hooked up before, but not in a very long time. Recently, he said "Girls just don't want disabled boys." Then he went on to say he thinks girls would assume the sex would be bad and would be embarrassed to hook up with a disabled man.

These are some very limiting beliefs. What do you guys think about this situation? What would your strategy be if you were him?

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Like other disabilities the body improves other senses to compensate. With him he needs to really highly define his other areas of fundamentals. Communication, fashion, knowledge of what women want ect.

BDSC

 

[ray_zorse]

To sum up my thoughts here I will quote from this report in my journal:

As I was driving home I stopped off at a pub and checked out a number of other venues in walking distance, there was actually someone totally hot in the pub but I blew it, had noticed her and her friend earlier and happened to glance over and maybe meet eyes with her while her friend was in the toilet and thats when I should have approached, anyway they then swapped over (target went to toilet while friend minded the drinks) and finally they came over towards me. Target was however weaving in a rather strange way, I was about to open her but was a little confused and basically just stood there with my mouth open thinking how fucking hot she was while the friend circumnavigated me from the other side, probably established a creepy eye contact and so decided to leave it, anyway looked after them and noticed target had a prosthetic leg, damn, she would probably love to have a guy come over and tell her she's totally hot and get a bit of validation that having a prosthetic leg doesn't make her any less hot, I wanted to run after them and open her but was concerned they might see it as a sympathy move & not sincere. Hmm. Wish I'd just acted a bit faster but [blah blah irrelevant stuff]

So the thing is, girls may well be seeing him and thinking he's totally hot, but they might have reservations about approaching, might be a bit confused as to how to go about it, or be worried it might be seen as a sympathy move. As well, one thing to keep in mind is most girls are generally VERY KIND AND EMPATHETIC, they are the more social and connection-oriented and less goal-driven sex. I'm not 100% sure how this will interact with their attraction system, SOME might say that if they see him as a recipient of kindness and understanding, they might be unattracted, but I don't really believe this is the case. If they fuck a disabled guy they are gonna feel 100% great about themselves, especially if the sex is good. Even if they don't go back for more, it's no problem for him, he got laid Given that he can get around unassisted, obviously cold approaching girls is the way to overcome these limiting beliefs. Well, nobody says he has to, but he'll get out what he puts in, same as any other dude. He needs to design a system, what about giving them a card which says "hi there. I noticed you and I wanted to introduce myself. I'm mute so I will type to you on my phone." Actually I used to hang out in this nightclub in Japan which is in a small basement in Shibuya and is so loud that nobody could talk, I had a bit of success chatting up girls using my phone. I'm sure he can do the same. They might not even realize he's disabled until everyone gets up.

Ray

 

[Thedoctor]

backstory,

This is not a situation I have any experience in, but I can offer some speculation about what I feel would work.

There's a couple of good points posted already about possibly trying out louder venues, and really focusing on his fundamentals (fashion especially).

Here's a few more pointers:

First off, attitude is key. Anytime I get to know someone who has a crippling disability, and they still have a positive outlook on life, it's impressive and makes for a very attractive quality. I realize that this is much easier said than done, but it will make a huge difference. Playing the victim always becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

He'll have an advantage in that girls will most likely let their guards down around him. This is something I would advise him to exploit.

Lastly, like anything else, confidence goes a long way. If he acts confidant and is not awkward, and comes across as fully independent, then I really doubt most girls will think he'll be a terrible lay. Might also be a good idea to get some sex talk in there to remove all doubt:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-t ... ory-part-i

Hopefully these help.
-John

 

[Chase]

I'd ask him if he wants help first.

Disability or no disability, most guys with any degree of victim mentality are not going to listen to you, no matter how on-point your advice may be.

It's equally sad whatever the guy's reason is for viewing himself as unlovable/undesirable, but until a guy decides that you know what, he's going to handle this, whatever it takes, you usually won't be able to do a whole lot for him.

Chase