- Joined
- Sep 14, 2013
- Messages
- 1,016
Two days before my trip to visit my parents for a week, I decided to set up another date with a girl I approached two weeks ago. We had a good first date, but I missed an escalation window when I could have kissed her. I text her for a date last week, but she was busy and didn't try to reschedule, so after a week, I decided to give her a ping. Sorry for the long post, but would love to get some feedback on this.
Me 7.02 pm: "Hey Les! How's ur week going? I heard the food fest was amazing. Really long line but good food. Would love to hear your review on that though
"
Her 8.19pm: "you should have come! yeap kinda satisfied my craving for Malaysian food! though can't beat the ones in Malaysia but it's at least was not too bad! how about you? what mission did you have this week or last week? "
Me 10.10pm: "I just end up going to a house warming party! met a lot interesting people you would rarely cross paths with! haha only kinda satisfied? well you know what they say about Malaysian girls..."
Her 10.12pm: "That's good! hmm what about Malaysian girls? Is it good or bad first lol"
Me 10.21pm : "hmmm I find it exotic, but it might not be everyone's cup of tea"
Her 10.28pm: "exotic How many Malaysian girls have you met to come to that conclusion lol. exotic is more suitable to describe the food I think"
Me 10.36pm: "haha why? u jealous? well exotic food created by exotic people. plus they all do this thing that drive most men crazy !"
Her 10.52pm : " I was just trying to figure out the reason behind ur description. since u used such an exotic description, that's y I was curious!"
Me 11.01pm : "hmm it's good to be curious How about we grab something to drink or eat tomorrow before I leave?"
Her 11.24pm: "Gotta see if I have break in between, what time is your break usually?
Fell asleep here, so replied the next morning.
Me 7.20 am: "I only have a short lunch break tomorrow. what's your plan for tonight?
Me: "*today"
Her 7.38 am: " I have dance prac after class till 7.30 pm, then need some time to take shower, should be free for a couple of hours after that. about 8.30?
Me 9.18am: cool come over at 8.30. Bring some snack and I'll get some drinks"
Her 11.44am: "Hey, I have a gathering with my friends at 10pm before Easter break starts. since i've been to ur place before, what about you come to my flat this time? I can prepare some simple food or snacks. when are you leaving?"
At this point, I knew I should have persisted her to come over, but I didn't because I was afraid I'll screw up my chance with her....no abundance mentality yet..sigh
Me 2.14pm: "sure. Only if you promise banana cake where do you live again? I'm leaving tomorrow."
Her 5.30pm: "sounds like a plan! ok challenge accepted! my house is just at where you first met me"
Her 7.47 pm: "hey are you coming later? if yes I'll start preparing the ingredients!"
Me: Yea I'm coming can't wait to taste it!"
When I got there, I didn't expect all 4 of her flatmates (all girls) are there. I greeted them with warmth, and deep dive a little about each one of them. 3 of them left 30 minutes later to get to a party, and my girl said she'll meet them later for karaoke. One girl stayed with us. We started baking and exchanged some light banter. The girl who stayed then left the kitchen to go to her room and now we're alone. We had some fun baking. I tried to break the touch barrier, but I feel she's not comfortable with that yet. I got the feeling she's inexperienced with men from our previous date. so I asked her.
Me" Hey, are you single?"
Her: " What do you mean?...I'm pretty free haha"
I think she's trying to be evasive here
Me: "haha so that's a yes!"
Her: "how about you? Are you single?"
Me: "why do you ask?" - really stupid shit I said here
Her: "well now that you've asked me. I need to ask you back."
Me: "Well..."
I didn't say anything, but I felt like I should have said something like I enjoy being single.
Anyway. We had a good conversation and connection. I fed her some cake with a sexy eye contact and she complied. I planted a seed for our next date. I mentioned that I'll show her my secret recipe next time, and she responded pretty well.
Me: "You're a really interesting girl... You're strong and independent!"
Her: "yea well I kinda have to!"
me: "I mean you're funny and charming..." (she cut me off here before I could finish)
Her: "I used to be shy and protective, but I've changed!"
instead of trying to finish what I had to say, I qualified her on that and deep dived.
Me: "That's a good thing you did! So you were protective?"
Her: "well .... (she went quiet and mumbled a few words)" didn't hear a word she said
Me: "mhmm ". with a sexy smile.
It's now 10.30 and I realized she's still staying with me. So I moved closer to her. (we're sitting around a kitchen table) I would lean in and pull away occasionally during our conversation. I was trying to position myself better for a kiss. BUT at 10.40, her friends came home, and now the circle is broken. She sit closer to me to make space for her friends. Our legs are touching slightly. They started talking about the games they played at the party, and one of the games they played was to choose 3 people you would marry, have as a boyfriend, or a fling. I looked at how she would react as they were discussing it, and she wasn't as enthusiastic as the other girls. Not sure if it's because I was there. Her friends also mentioned they went to watch a naked rugby match. I asked her friend to show me a pic, and I just laughed and said
"wow they were being really friendly. Did you guys enjoyed it?"
they all laughed including my girl
Her friend: "Yea I couldn't concentrate on the ball!
My girl and I : "haha what ball? "
Her friend blushed: "The rugby ball!"
Then they started to talk about their plans for the upcoming holidays, and she would fill me in as they talk.
It was very frustrating that every time we were talking about something, she would break circle and talk to her friends trying to juggle two conversations at the same time. So I just did the drop and hang thing. When she returned to my conversation asking what I was talking about, I would do the bored look and said "I can't remember" with a small smile. Then she would work hard to get us back on track. I broke the touch barrier in the end, incidentally touching her thigh now and then and she seemed to be comfortable. But it was getting late because her friends were going to bed, and I was yawning.
Her: "Looks like it's your bed time"
Me: "Yea I better get going "
At the door
Me: "I guess I'll see you around!"
Her: "I'll see you at Melbourne! =)"
Me: "=)"
I was taking a trip to visit my parents at melbourne, and she said they were planning to go to melbourne as well but haven't decided yet.
After I left, I was a little disappointed. I could have moved us to her bedroom earlier, but didn't think of it. While I was pondering what to text her as I got home, I got a text from her.
Her 12.53 am : "Hope you enjoyed the chillax session just now! Though you might not expect to be seeing so many of my other friends haha, but I think my banana cake just acts like a magnet which attracts everyone anyway it was a great chatting session. Hope you have a safe journey home tomorrow ! "
I feel like I need to say something to get her to open up her sexual desire.
Me 1.11am: "I like your friends. They really make u happier in all sorts of ways haha. I can see they're a big part of who u r, but I feel there's more that ur afraid to show. But u shouldn't be Thanks for inviting me over!"
No reply.
Things I did well on
1. forming connection better now.
Things I should improve
1. moving her
2. not be afraid to break the touch barrier
3. Stop being a pussy, and go for a kiss.
4. Sexual frame - although I feel she's pretty conservative. and she hasn't been comfortable with my previous sexual frames.
Questions
1. Am I in the friend zone or BF material here?
I feel like I am one of these two but we only have two dates so far in the last two weeks and we don't text each other in between at all.
2. Any feedback is welcomed.
3. Any idea on how to progress this one.
Cheers
Smith
Me 7.02 pm: "Hey Les! How's ur week going? I heard the food fest was amazing. Really long line but good food. Would love to hear your review on that though
"Her 8.19pm: "you should have come! yeap kinda satisfied my craving for Malaysian food! though can't beat the ones in Malaysia but it's at least was not too bad! how about you? what mission did you have this week or last week? "
Me 10.10pm: "I just end up going to a house warming party! met a lot interesting people you would rarely cross paths with! haha only kinda satisfied? well you know what they say about Malaysian girls..."
Her 10.12pm: "That's good! hmm what about Malaysian girls? Is it good or bad first lol"
Me 10.21pm : "hmmm I find it exotic, but it might not be everyone's cup of tea
"Her 10.28pm: "exotic How many Malaysian girls have you met to come to that conclusion lol. exotic is more suitable to describe the food I think
"Me 10.36pm: "haha why? u jealous?
well exotic food created by exotic people. plus they all do this thing that drive most men crazy !"Her 10.52pm : " I was just trying to figure out the reason behind ur description. since u used such an exotic description, that's y I was curious!"
Me 11.01pm : "hmm it's good to be curious
How about we grab something to drink or eat tomorrow before I leave?"Her 11.24pm: "Gotta see if I have break in between, what time is your break usually?
Fell asleep here, so replied the next morning.
Me 7.20 am: "I only have a short lunch break tomorrow. what's your plan for tonight?
Me: "*today"
Her 7.38 am: " I have dance prac after class till 7.30 pm, then need some time to take shower, should be free for a couple of hours after that. about 8.30?
Me 9.18am: cool
come over at 8.30. Bring some snack and I'll get some drinks"Her 11.44am: "Hey, I have a gathering with my friends at 10pm before Easter break starts. since i've been to ur place before, what about you come to my flat this time? I can prepare some simple food or snacks. when are you leaving?"
At this point, I knew I should have persisted her to come over, but I didn't because I was afraid I'll screw up my chance with her....no abundance mentality yet..sigh
Me 2.14pm: "sure. Only if you promise banana cake
where do you live again? I'm leaving tomorrow."Her 5.30pm: "sounds like a plan! ok challenge accepted! my house is just at where you first met me"
Her 7.47 pm: "hey are you coming later? if yes I'll start preparing the ingredients!"
Me: Yea I'm coming
can't wait to taste it!"When I got there, I didn't expect all 4 of her flatmates (all girls) are there. I greeted them with warmth, and deep dive a little about each one of them. 3 of them left 30 minutes later to get to a party, and my girl said she'll meet them later for karaoke. One girl stayed with us. We started baking and exchanged some light banter. The girl who stayed then left the kitchen to go to her room and now we're alone. We had some fun baking. I tried to break the touch barrier, but I feel she's not comfortable with that yet. I got the feeling she's inexperienced with men from our previous date. so I asked her.
Me" Hey, are you single?"
Her: " What do you mean?...I'm pretty free haha"
I think she's trying to be evasive here
Me: "haha so that's a yes!"
Her: "how about you? Are you single?"
Me: "why do you ask?" - really stupid shit I said here
Her: "well now that you've asked me. I need to ask you back."
Me: "Well..."
I didn't say anything, but I felt like I should have said something like I enjoy being single.
Anyway. We had a good conversation and connection. I fed her some cake with a sexy eye contact and she complied. I planted a seed for our next date. I mentioned that I'll show her my secret recipe next time, and she responded pretty well.
Me: "You're a really interesting girl... You're strong and independent!"
Her: "yea well I kinda have to!"
me: "I mean you're funny and charming..." (she cut me off here before I could finish)
Her: "I used to be shy and protective, but I've changed!"
instead of trying to finish what I had to say, I qualified her on that and deep dived.
Me: "That's a good thing you did! So you were protective?"
Her: "well .... (she went quiet and mumbled a few words)" didn't hear a word she said
Me: "mhmm ". with a sexy smile.
It's now 10.30 and I realized she's still staying with me. So I moved closer to her. (we're sitting around a kitchen table) I would lean in and pull away occasionally during our conversation. I was trying to position myself better for a kiss. BUT at 10.40, her friends came home, and now the circle is broken. She sit closer to me to make space for her friends. Our legs are touching slightly. They started talking about the games they played at the party, and one of the games they played was to choose 3 people you would marry, have as a boyfriend, or a fling. I looked at how she would react as they were discussing it, and she wasn't as enthusiastic as the other girls. Not sure if it's because I was there. Her friends also mentioned they went to watch a naked rugby match. I asked her friend to show me a pic, and I just laughed and said
"wow they were being really friendly. Did you guys enjoyed it?
" they all laughed including my girl
Her friend: "Yea I couldn't concentrate on the ball!
My girl and I : "haha what ball? "
Her friend blushed: "The rugby ball!"
Then they started to talk about their plans for the upcoming holidays, and she would fill me in as they talk.
It was very frustrating that every time we were talking about something, she would break circle and talk to her friends trying to juggle two conversations at the same time. So I just did the drop and hang thing. When she returned to my conversation asking what I was talking about, I would do the bored look and said "I can't remember" with a small smile. Then she would work hard to get us back on track. I broke the touch barrier in the end, incidentally touching her thigh now and then and she seemed to be comfortable. But it was getting late because her friends were going to bed, and I was yawning.
Her: "Looks like it's your bed time"
Me: "Yea I better get going "
At the door
Me: "I guess I'll see you around!"
Her: "I'll see you at Melbourne! =)"
Me: "=)"
I was taking a trip to visit my parents at melbourne, and she said they were planning to go to melbourne as well but haven't decided yet.
After I left, I was a little disappointed. I could have moved us to her bedroom earlier, but didn't think of it. While I was pondering what to text her as I got home, I got a text from her.
Her 12.53 am : "Hope you enjoyed the chillax session just now! Though you might not expect to be seeing so many of my other friends haha, but I think my banana cake just acts like a magnet which attracts everyone
anyway it was a great chatting session. Hope you have a safe journey home tomorrow ! "I feel like I need to say something to get her to open up her sexual desire.
Me 1.11am: "I like your friends. They really make u happier in all sorts of ways haha. I can see they're a big part of who u r, but I feel there's more that ur afraid to show. But u shouldn't be
Thanks for inviting me over!"No reply.
Things I did well on
1. forming connection better now.
Things I should improve
1. moving her
2. not be afraid to break the touch barrier
3. Stop being a pussy, and go for a kiss.
4. Sexual frame - although I feel she's pretty conservative. and she hasn't been comfortable with my previous sexual frames.
Questions
1. Am I in the friend zone or BF material here?
I feel like I am one of these two but we only have two dates so far in the last two weeks and we don't text each other in between at all.
2. Any feedback is welcomed.
3. Any idea on how to progress this one.
Cheers
Smith
