Ditch your friends when gaming

[DarkKnight]

There is something which I notice more and more while I become game aware and that is that you have to absolutely ditch your friends from time to time when you want to hit up a new girl. Non game aware friends can make things awkward really fast and sabbotage you in 1001 ways. Also they tend to draw you in social mode or logical mode while you want to switch to seductive mode. You can always catch up with your friends later on, but if there is a girl near who you want to approach: Cut off your friend. They'll understand. You have to be a little ruthless about this.

Example1:
This tuesday I was talking with a friend but he kept engaging me while I was trying to disengage in favour of a blonde. At one point I had to walk away midsentence (because he would not allow me to disengage) and talk to her. She was very receptive. 10 minutes later I talked with my buddy again: he understood and all was fine, but he didnt understand in the moment. Which could have ruined my shot.

Example 2:
Your with a friend and he keeps staring to girls or making comments about them: obviously scaring your potential targets. Again cut off fast: usually arguing about their behaviour will not help since it is way too ingrained. It's obvious that he is in scavenger mode. Not a great way to show high value.

Example 3: I will never forget this one. I thought I had ditched my friend in order to talk up with a hot tanned girl alone. Suddenly he was next me while the girl was going to the bathroom and about to return: I told him really direct : "go away, just leave NOW". Friend walked away, girl came back (but she caught up from a distance what happened), however since she had high interest the day was saved and we had a date 2 days later.

Example 4: This guy was just being toxic and eventually not a real "Friend" , so I cut him off from life. When there was a girl near he immediately tried to frame conversations as if I am a taken guy and off the market. He was basically pre-empting me from having a chance.

I'm simply saying, value your friends since they are usually cool people, but they can really derail your seductions or interactions. And at those times you do not want to be an asshole but also not as polite as losing your shots. I have seen people do really moronic things even when they know your intentions about a girl. Also they can do low value things which will unfortunately reflect on you.

A good friend will understand and encourage you even if you had to be blunt in the moment. To this day I only had one good wingman, because he was socially super aware despite not reading up into game.

 

[naturalmikey]

I prefer to meet people out than to go out and committing to be with someone for the duration of the night. I like to bounce of friends like I bounce off sets. Sometimes it's fun shooting the shit with a friend, but when it's time to game I'm solo. In my experience if I need a wing I'll find one after the fact. Going in with a wing puts you at a huge disadvantage. If her friend wants to meet someone cool, but I'm not relying on someone else if they're not needed.

 

[DarkKnight]

Yeah man, I agree, but I meant when I am doing something with my buddies already and a hot babe just passed along or is in the area.

 

[DarkKnight]

At the moment Grand Pooba has posted two very good articles which tie in with what I mention here. It's definitely a recommended read.

Also what Varoon mentions about friends using you because you are good at opening rings really through. I am really harsh against would be poachers though, I tend to pre-empt their attempts to steal and am absolutely not diplomatic about it. We can be friends, later.

 

[Razorjack]

@DarkKnight

Back in the day, when I was in my 5 year PU obsessed development phase, I had an internal switch that flipped when it was time to PU.

Very similar to a professional athlete / businessman. They don't socialize with friends when it is time to train, practice, compete, land that big client etc. For me it was all 100% serious business with the little PU time that I had, the last thing I needed was interference and distractions.

Your social circle will get it after a while. For me, it was usually where on a Friday, it started with an after work with colleagues but then they knew that as soon as we left the "after work" place to go to a nightclub or next venue, I was gone to do my own thing.

 

[Derek da man]

I guess being a little older than some I'm lucky as my friends have the experience to stay back and watch from the sidelines when I'm in conversation with girls. They always have and I've never needed to say anything. I always make a point to wave a "goodbye" accross the room or in passing on my way out with someone as that gives good social proof, but don't allow them anything more than that as that risks derailing all my work.

 

[DarkKnight]

@Razorjack

I get what you mean bro, after a long day of work when I want to go out and game I actually have to visualize myself doing it since I am in a completely different framework. There definitely is an on and an off switch. However about friends "knowing'. Well I'm not that trusting of people, they can really surprise you when girls are around, sometimes they even think they are being "subtle" but are actually trying to damage your frame or leech. Most guys when girls are around are needy. Super super needy and thirsty, Varoon is spot on about that.

@ Derek da man

Then you're a lucky guy bro. I tend to go out solo and daygame solo, because having people around tends to make things unnecessary complicated. Luckily for you they already keep their distance, but even then they can affect your reputation or talk with a girl when you are gone. I recommend discreetness in all cases.

 

[Carousel]

Go out solo or with guys who are in the same headspace and not a burden. Simple as that.

 

[Carousel]

What you guys also should realize:

Going out together requires what I stated above. Winging, however, is a level or two above this. Being in sync when going out and approaching separate sets ("tandem mode") is way simpler than actually working together on a 2-set. This requires actually knowing each other's style of game and having matching social frames.

I tend to be an usable wing because I know absolutely basic skills as when to 1) shut up and 2) when to leave. A lot of even game-aware guys don't. Also I will shut up about guys having other tastes in women than me and ego-crap, like its OK to warm up with chics who are not the hottest. Heck, even go home with one if you have low momentum.

 

[DarkKnight]

@Carousel. I agree, but sometimes you don't go out purely for gaming but you still notice a stunner. For instance during transit in a train or a bus. Or in a social situation. Or when you are hanging out with your homies. You can't always chose the situation. But when you can, you should. That's for sure.

 

[Protean]

I tend to be an usable wing because I know absolutely basic skills as when to 1) shut up and 2) when to leave. A lot of even game-aware guys don't.

This is so true. I've never sought out any other guys into pickup at my school after one weirdo I ran into a couple years ago. This dude tried dressing like Mystery (and was doing so poorly) while having some of the worst social intuition I have ever seen). Obviously not all guys who are into PUA are like that, but prior to that experinece I assumed everyone was well adjusted and possessed a modicum of social acumen. Clearly that's not always the case.