Do any of you guys go into "Pickup Mode"?

[Bboy100]

So I've noticed something recently. When I go on dates or I talk to girls explicitly for the sake of pickup, I feel like I'm a different, stronger more powerful person. But only in that context. I'm starting to become closer and closer to the ideal GC man (I'm nowhere near there yet! Just getting closer.). But in all other social situations...when I hang out with my friends, when I talk to girls who are platonic friends and I have no interest in them sexually etc. I'm a pretty "normal" guy. Like, if I told my friends that I have three first dates scheduled for the next week alone, they'd all be pretty skeptical. This is because I don't seem like "that type of guy" in my every day life. In fact, I'm not even the leader of my main social circle. And none of my friends are exceptionally high value or naturals or anything like that. But the "pickup" version of me unquestionably would become said leader in no time at all. And girls I go on dates with pretty much always tell me I have the "vibe" of someone who gets a lot of girls. It's almost like I have two different personalities now. Has this happened to anyone else?

Note: I dont actually want to be leader of my social circle. I have no incentive for doing so. Even as a "normal" guy, I'm already #2 or #3. So there's no reason to ladder climb. I'm just noting that there's a huge discrepancy between the way I behave when I talk to a hot girl or someone who otherwise has value to offer me, and the way I talk to everyone else. I'm just curious about why that might be.

 

[Anonymous]

Situational confidence. We all act a bit differently based on the context and the people around us. If we already have a predetermined role within a group, we tend to stick to it. And people around you will get uneasy and even attack you if you begin challenging those roles and try to change, even if it's for the better.

I don't feel this as much in social settings because I'm usually the leader of my group of friends, and I assume leadership with women, so there isn't much of a difference. But where I do feel a difference is in the workplace versus a social setting. I have a few superiors and I do have to answer to them according to the situation and because of protocols, but this has more to do with an artificial, constructed hierarchy and leadership.

If you're naturally exhibiting leadership qualities and make good decisions, you can become "elected" or assume leadership, as opposed to workplace settings where you may be put in a leadership position, but people may not be willing followers, but out of obligation are doing so. The former is generally preferred, of course.

As to your last point, it probably has a lot to do with your conditioning; you may be used to "turning it on", where you're consciously gaming or using social seduction in your interactions, whereas when you're dealing with "everybody else" you have no agenda, so your focus is more lax and laid-back as opposed to having a specific outcome or ulterior motive. And if you go out and "practice" pick up a lot, you'll see a much larger discrepancy in the way you treat women and cool dudes, compared to a store clerk or bank teller, for instance.

 

[Bboy100]

Hmm yeah, that seems to make sense. Thanks J.J.!

 

[PrettyDecent]

Bboy,

Yeah, absolutely. I noticed that as I started practicing sexual tension and vibe last year, I started creating a sort of new persona - kind of like the difference between working silently in a cubicle at the office, and after work becoming the outgoing, louder fella when grabbing a beer with friends. In this case, it's your "sexual persona".

This new persona becomes more definely shaped as you practice it more, and it also becomes more polarizing. As you practice it more, you start noticing higher sexual interest from girls (and the faster you have to move if you don't want her in auto-rejection).

Conversely, just as if you stop going to the gym for a while and start losing muscle, so does your sexual vibe lose its shape if it isn't continually practiced. That persona must be practiced again if you take a long break from it.

~Nick