Do Asian (e.g. Korean) girls care more about your character?

[Conquistador]

I recently saw it claimed (in a non-seduction, non-primary research setting) that Korean and other Asian cultures consider “integrity” and “concern for others” more important to attraction than “enthusiasm” or “high energy”.

I would probably be less receptive to such a thesis, except that recently I was competing in an election at college against a Chinese girl. I gave a well-written and well-delivered speech, significantly shorter than time allotted, focusing on what I brought to the table and how I planned to serve, and in terms of qualifications I was a shoo-in. She gave a speech (with what American speaking coaches would call textbook bad body language) all about how she wanted to get more involved in student life, how it would help her résumé, etc etc.
The (heavily Asian international) electorate voted for her. By a respectably small margin, I lost. Vox populi, vox Dei.

So I’m seriously wondering whether East Asian girls (on average, I don’t mean tatted club queens) actually do care more than Western girls about who you are and how you treat people.

Has this been borne out by your experiences infield?

 

[topcat]

It never crossed your mind that they may have voted for her over you because.. she’s Asian?

 

[Conquistador]

It never crossed your mind that they may have voted for her over you because.. she’s Asian?

Oh it did lol

But I find it hard to believe that Asian students are *that* clannish

Or rather I don’t want to believe it even tho it’s prob true to some extent

I guess I was projecting the American mentality of the democratic process

 

[DarkJedi]

Interesting that you made that connection between your college election experience and Asian women, but I think there's some truth to it.

I'm assuming you're in the US. The value system as well as communication styles in the US are very different from Asian cultures. Its way more about individualism, getting things done, sticking your neck out and trying to do the best you can in the States. And marketing, selling the dream. While in Asia (I'm generalizing of course, there's differences across Asian cultures), respect of authority and culture, keeping your head down and letting your work speak for you is more a thing. In India also, importance of body language, presentation, etc. is not given much importance in school and college, and that's fine if you're sticking to your local sphere. When you have to interact with Western clients for example or do well in the Western countries, it starts to matter and you need to adapt.

For your election case though, I think they might have voted her just so they had one of their own as the winner, since the content of her speech also does not sound any great. How it would help her resumé? Wow!

On the dating front, the social frame is strong, and they prefer the boyfriend frame I think. Recently saw a video in Japan where they said most Japanese girls are fine to have a "boyfriend" for a week even though he was only there to have sex, than to call it a hookup or one night stand.

Personally I had sex with a Korean girl a while ago. It was completely indirect. We had sex within hours of meeting, and she said the reason she did that was coz I seemed "nice" and that it didn't seem that I wanted to have sex with her. Lol. Being nice is a plus sometimes apparently. And I have messed up with a few other Asian girls by being direct.

Have to admit though that I've not had too many Asian experiences infield, not enough to make generalizations.

 

[Will_V]

I think @topcat suggested the right answer. Asians can be extremely clannish and have a strong preference for their own race, culture, food, language and pretty much everything else. I've never spent much time in asia but from the people I've talked to who have, it's not a quick or easy thing to become accepted as a foreigner. They have a huge amount of pride in their roots and see everyone else is an outsider. The politeness that they show can sometimes make people think that they are submissive or think highly of others compared to themselves when it is usually quite the opposite.

I've never had a long term asian girlfriend, but from the experiences I've had with asian women in general, they don't care so much about your kindness as much as they do about your self esteem and orderliness. It's hard to impress them when you look like a hippie but if you are looking smart and clean cut with a touch of style it tends to catch their eye. The middle class ones and up also tend to have very polished social skills and expect the same.