Do Loyalty and Love exists??

[.....]

Okay,

This is something that i have to get off my chest like REALLY REALLY and REEEAALLY badly.

So, bear with me, i have to deal with this or else i'll be operating from this mindset where i'll hurt girls and myself in the process. (if Richard you are reading this, its not about that girl man).

I know so far that whatever we were told while growing up, and through media is SHIT. Its really different when i myself experienced it. No, the girl doesn't stay forever with you in the end to live happily ever after, looks like they just go for the better options (or so i think). I don't think its guys who stray, but the girls.

So my question would be : do loyalty and love exists?

Someone mind telling me for once and all that what loyalty really is?

And my apologies if i'm posting something that shouldn't be posted, its just something i have to get rid off, so that i can start to believe that i can trust the girls i'm bringing in my life.

 

[Franco]

Kent,

This article by Chase is worth a read:

• Why Can't You Find a Loyal Woman?

That should clear a few things up for you.

- Franco

 

[Regal Tiger]

Quick disclaimer: personal beliefs


Hey Kent, my personal belief is that yes, loyalty and love exist but not unconditionally.

Ever since I heard this in one of my first college courses I found it to be true in all cases: Psychological Egoism. People do what they feel like will best suit their interests. Those interests don't even have to be in their personal best interest (such as a mother sacrificing herself for her child; her selfish interest is that she wants the child to live, her genes to carry on living).


I've always gotten some flak about it, but that's what I've always subscribed to and I've found it to be rather freeing in a way. Is someone your friend? Do they love you, will they have your back? Possibly... what do you do for them to inspire those feelings and bonds?

Will a woman love you and be loyal to you? It's possible if you inspire those feelings in her. Though I don't believe in sexual loyalty long-term and operate under an open relationship paradigm. There's also what Chase noted in an article about why women aren't loyal by a man's definition (that Franco linked to).

The closest thing in this world to unconditional love is that between mother and child. And my mother didn't love me as a child (though she's changed a lot in recent years so I do have to give her a lot of credit for that). So not even that can be unconditional.


But even under Psychological Egoism; that all organisms are selfish and that true altruism doesn't exist, there still exists love. I've always thought of love and hate as the exact same thing. Love is a deep emotional investment that you feel like is respected by your object of love. Hate is when your emotional investment is not being respected (or how you feel it should be).

Those are some of my thoughts

 

[.....]

Franco,

Thanks for the link, you saved me from `one more user banned, no more disloyal mentality'

I didn't know that Chase have an article for that too, was busy in family problem.

Jus one question : What investment ACTUALLY is and how to get a girl to invest more.

Real Tiger

I've read about you getting accused, sorry for that bro, hope you are doing great. This is such an horrible nightmare a man can have, you know i was riding a bus with my friend, a lady and her mother got in, the lady was clearly into me, she was giving me long seductive eye contact, but her mother was over protective, so i stopped looking at her, but when they were leaving, i was standing near the door, the mother pushed me and said, atlest move away with a disgusting tone, i didn't reply as i knew people will definately believe her over me. But this was two years ago.

And thanks for your reply man.

Kent

 

[Regal Tiger]

Real Tiger

I've read about you getting accused, sorry for that bro, hope you are doing great. This is such an horrible nightmare a man can have, you know i was riding a bus with my friend, a lady and her mother got in, the lady was clearly into me, she was giving me long seductive eye contact, but her mother was over protective, so i stopped looking at her, but when they were leaving, i was standing near the door, the mother pushed me and said, atlest move away with a disgusting tone, i didn't reply as i knew people will definately believe her over me. But this was two years ago.

And thanks for your reply man.

Kent

Doing pretty well, thanks for asking! Talking to another user the only way to describe that bullshit is that it's basically like the flu right now. I'll live but it's a friggin pain to get to the end of the tunnel. One of her two roommates might end up coming to court to testify FOR ME (not a typo; as in testify on my side) lmao. So that pretty much sums that crap up. Just a struggle to get there at this point. Talking to another attorney (cousin's friend) he thinks that they very well could dismiss it a day or two before my trial. So apparently that's a thing that happens... kinda blew my mind.

And yea, that scenario sucks for you as well but that's the kind of world that we live in now (assuming you're in the Western part of the world). Best to just move on and try to find someone else to warm your bed that doesn't have an overbearing douche canoe of a cockblocker. The good news is, is that they're damn near everywhere nowadays. Quite lovely.

Jus one question : What investment ACTUALLY is and how to get a girl to invest more.

Investment can be anything. As an example here's one of my old favorite things with an ex: she worked next to my favorite smoothie shop at the time and whenever she would come over I would frequently ask her to bring me a smoothie. She would buy one for me and bring it over.

A girl getting emotional about someone is investment, like the typical cliche of a girl crying over the asshole boyfriend to her friendzoned friend. That's investment into the asshole boyfriend.

Just having her do ANYTHING for you, really. Say the conversation hits a low point and she opts into talking to make it easier for the conversation to get going again. That's investment. A girl doing laundry for you or cooking for you. Like what Chase talks about in an article or two; have women take care of you by cleaning for your or cooking for your or simple stuff like that.

If you go out to eat make sure she pays at least part of the time. Or if you're like me you can do another of my favorite things with a different ex: we would play rock paper scissors to see who would pay. Best out of 3 would win and get a free whatever it was. It was fun and she favored scissors way too much lmao.

Another good form of investment that I like is to only reach out to a girl once or twice a week. If you're doing everything else right then she's going to reach out to you, that's investment. Then just carry on a conversation after she does. I got this from a guy named Corey Wayne who has some good points. If she reaches out just assume that she wants to see you so say hi to her when she does and immediately ask her what she's up to in the next few days. Make plans, talk a little bit and then cut the conversation. Sometimes have a long conversation.


Some smaller forms of investment are things you'll hear a lot like "Hey, let me see what you've got on, turn around for me" or "What's that necklace *as you hold it and leave your hand on her as you look at it*". Deep diving her is also a form of investment, she's telling you important stuff about her.



The most basic way of thinking about it is this: investment is just her doing something for you. After that it's only a matter of how much investment. Like; sex is a much higher form of investment than her texting you back. But texting back is a little investment, she could just ignore you.

When you're trying to get a girl to invest in you just keep ramping up the level of investment (so go from do a spin for me to suck my dick lol). Just make sure that you're rewarding her investment.