Do women know what women want?

[randy__bobandy]

Hello gents,

I don't know if this belongs in this section of the forum, but here goes:

I was at my friends place last night, there were a few guys, and a few girls, none of which I am interested in, so I didn't have to really watch what I said.

So my friend Matt says he's been stressing out about this girl he likes in his class and doesn't know how to go about asking her out and the logistics of what to do if she says yes.

I thought I'd help him out with some of the things I've learned form this site, so I laid down a few general rules he can follow that'll help him along the way.

At one point, I said "Also, Matt, don't be 'the nice guy', and you don't have to pay for her coffee either." The whole room looked at me like they had just seen a ghost, and they (girls included) were saying "what? what are you talking about, you gotta be nice, you gotta buy her the drink."

So then a little bit later my friend Liz was talking about a guy who she had just started seeing. At one point, she said, "Yeah, he's nice.... but he needs to do more, take more risks."

I didn't make anything of that statement, but later when I had gone back to my place, I realized that what she had just said, is that him being nice but non-active was not fitting the bill. This goes against her argument before that you've got to be a nice guy, which leads me to my original question, "do women even know what women want?"

 

[Mr. oblivious]

This goes against her argument before that you've got to be a nice guy, which leads me to my original question, "do women even know what women want?"

I remember reading something about this

My answer would be no they don't know what they want which is why the dominant men which usually lead them are more successful and picking up

 

[Franco]

Randy,

"do women even know what women want?"

After a lot of deliberation on this one, I've come to a pretty conclusive answer based on experience. And when you think about it, it will probably make sense based on your own experience: women only know what they don't want based on their experiences with men.

That is to say, when a woman has a given romantic experience with a man, she learns a little bit about what she doesn't want. For example, if he was an asshole, then she knows she doesn't want a guy who's an asshole. However, when she then concludes that she instead wants a "nice guy," she might go and date one suddenly and realize that it isn't good either (possibly because she didn't realize that the sex wasn't as good or that he wasn't her emotional rock when she needed a strong man), so suddenly she goes back to another asshole and bounces back and forth.

Eventually, women come to learn enough small things about what they don't want to get a clearer picture of what they actually DO want, but it takes a very long time for them to do that. It's while you'll often see cougars knowing exactly which guy they want to go after and pursuing them aggressively when they've locked their sights onto them. They just know from experience when a guy checks off all the marks on their list, and then they make a move. It's also the reason younger, inexperienced girls end up in non-ideal relationships: they haven't formed an idea of what they DON'T want in a guy until they actually experience it, and even when they do think they know what aspects they disliked about the guy, they can still be off the mark in determining what it actually was that they didn't like about him. For them, sometimes it's just an emotional feeling (i.e. he just didn't make me feel like a woman; he didn't make me feel desired).

One of the great things about this website is that we teach you how to behave in a way that every woman wants, and it's one of the reasons that I give so much praise to Chase -- he's gone through the blood, sweat, and tears of failing OVER and OVER again with women to the point where he's discovered what actually works all the time because it's what women really want, even if you have to show them yourselves. It's the reason that Chase has mentioned that all of his more recent ex-girlfriends have stated that he's the best man they ever had, and it's always the reason they want him back (even though he doesn't go back).

So to answer your question in summary: no, women do not know what they want. They only slowly learn about things they don't want as they continue to rack up experience with men.

- Franco

 

[Nuncle]

Great analysis, Franco.

I am a beginner in pick-up but this is what I would say about this issue from reading this site and personal experience (I'm an older dude):

Women, while loving sex, see it as a minor issue - a need that they have to fulfill at times so they can get on with their lives, like having lunch or something.

What is very important to them, and the central issue when it comes to men, is long-term relationships/marriage/romance and all that stuff. I slightly disagree with most PuAs, who maintain that women despise the idea of a provider and just see him as a useful idiot they can get to put the shelves up and carry the suitcases. That is in fact how they often come to view their actual husbands, but the fantasy in their head is to find a genuinely lovely, gentle, sweet-natured guy they can live happily together with in a cottage in the country, growing old together (bleeurgh!), tending the roses and having beautiful children. This, for women, is the ultimate prize that they aspire to, rather than hot sex with a stripper(which is what it is for men)

Therefore women may enjoy having sex with bad boys but, to them, this is not important, it's just scratching an itch. What is important is finding that lovely, sweet guy and tending those roses. So when they scream at you that yes of course you have to be nice! it is because they have the rose garden in the back of their minds.

Then 2 problems arise:

Firstly they tend to fall in love a lot of the time with the bad boys they sex up - actual love rather than what they want love to be.

Secondly, women tend not to consider the drawbacks of the sweet guys at first (although they quickly discover them). These include: inability to escalate, inability to handle situations, timidity in bed, insecurity.