Do You Guys do BDSM Stuff during your pulls?

[West_Indian_Archie]

I've always thought of BDSM as something to add some spice to the bedroom.

I've heard that incorporating some of the "Dom" mentality and behavior helps in every phase of a pull.

Any insight?

WIA

 

[Toby2030]

I have rope, handcuffs, a collar with a leash, a blindfold, a gag-ball and a whip that I use occassionally. However, I mostly do not use it during the first lay. I like to start out pretty light to avoid ASD after the fact. But yeah, just like regular dirty talk it's very powerful. You just have to make sure she's very open and into it.

 

[PalmaSailor]

Damn Archie - is that you?

I’d written the below response before I saw who was poasting.

Anyway, I do it quite a lot with plates, but you really can’t do it until you’ve been banging them for a few weeks. She has to trust you that she won’t get hurt, and if you push it too soon you’ll scare the absolute crap out of her.

You also have to know what you’re doing

BUT- once you get them over the line with safe words and stuff most of them really, and I mean really get off on it

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

Damn Archie - is that you?

I’d written the below response before I saw who was poasting.

Anyway, I do it quite a lot with plates, but you really can’t do it until you’ve been banging them for a few weeks. She has to trust you that she won’t get hurt, and if you push it too soon you’ll scare the absolute crap out of her.

You also have to know what you’re doing

BUT- once you get them over the line with safe words and stuff most of them really, and I mean really get off on it

I mean before you get into the Bed Room.

You're already "bossing her around" on date 1

WIA

 

[Will_V]

EDIT never mind, I misunderstood the question. I'm not really clear though on what it means to do BDSM outside the bedroom.

 

[PalmaSailor]

I mean before you get into the Bed Room.

You're already "bossing her around" on date
WIA

@Archie



Ok I got led astray by not reading the question properly.



The title is “do you guys do BDSM stuff during your pulls?”



Then there’s “bossing her around during the date”



But the posts asks if adopting a “Dom mentality and behaviour helps in every phase of the pull”



The answer to doing “BDSM stuff” is no. Definitely not. Because that would be talking about it. The actual stuff. And it will scare the absolute living crap out of her. Even if you’re talking about EXACTLY the same stuff that she has wet dreams over, you’ll blow it.



And that’s because she’s having wet dreams over the THEORY which includes a sexy competent lover / master / her not ending up dead in a ditch / not getting hurt - not more hurt than she wants to be anyway.



Most women know that most men don’t have the experience or control to deliver proper erotic dominance. You have to demonstrate that you can, and that they’re safe and can call a halt etc..



The answer to the “Dom mentality helping” is yes, I’m MOST phases, but probably not EVERY phase. I’m not conscious of how I do it, but you probably have to back off during comfort.



“Bossing her around” is not the same as dominance. It implies you’re just being “pushy” - which has links to being “needy” so a DLV.

But it is gonna depend on how you do it.



When any of my women come to my place and walk through the door, I might instantly get them by the hair and push them to their knees to suck my cock. But that’s not “bossing them around”, it’s domination and I’m expecting, and will get, compliance - even if I have to push through some “resistance”.



So If anything I’d think that’s counterproductive. A proper Dom doesn’t “boss around” it’s not like that. He takes the lead and takes her to a place and she submits willingly. Now he pushes her but she still submits until a boundary is reached. She either goes through that boundary willingly, or calls a limit.



It gets a bit more Technical around subspace, because at that level, the sub is so high on the endorphines that they may not be in control of their thoughts, but that’s a different league.

 

[Bacchus]

I've always thought of BDSM as something to add some spice to the bedroom.

I've heard that incorporating some of the "Dom" mentality and behavior helps in every phase of a pull.

Any insight?

WIA

There are some effective tactics geared towards seducing a girl with a Submissive and Service Oriented Fantasy.

For example. . . I'd meet girls at coffee shops for dates. . . and tell a cashier the drinks are to go. Then walk the girl to my place while talking and mention a plausibly deniable excuse as we got closer. There would be no pull-invitations during those dates. . . I just behave as if her following my lead is simply a foregone conclusion. Another version of this tactic is useful when meeting girls at transit venues or inside the moving public transportation vehicles.

After standard fare with a reality or meta pace opener followed up. . . with immersive verbal game and sexual framing. I mention how cool it would be to get her opinion on my portraits. . . and after her positive response I tell her which stop I'm getting off at. Then we get off together and walk to mine.

Something else worth mentioning here is a physical escalation tactic I learned from The Thin Man called compliance demands.

It's pretty much what it sounds like. . . telling girls to come sit closer to you on a couch or bed. If you establish an artist/muse frame. . . telling them to turn their face this way and that so you can better observe their features is very sexy in a dominant way. Or after kissing her you pull away before telling her to stand up and take off her little black dress. Praise her for complying. . . as you continue directing the girl in your erotic vision of an impromptu strip tease.

 

[trashKENNUT]

I've heard that incorporating some of the "Dom" mentality and behavior helps in every phase of a pull.

Any insight?

I'm not a fan of BDSM. Kinda not my thing for now i guess.

There's a need to have this acceptance at your base level, core level... that you are a man, and that's enough.

I have noted this before on Girschase. I have had one girl, flashes me in public, infront of everyone. lolx. She's a stranger. She's probably an exhibitionist in nature but i was caught by surprised by it. I can clearly see her panties. She clearly shows it just across the seat of me. Second, girls openly staring at me at pointblank range in a public event, and both of our friends see it. and he was looking at why she is looking at me. I was like 'why the fuck is she looking at me'.

Partly because i was an authority figure there, not the main but part of.

I seriously won't recommend incorporate as such for most but not you because you already "up there" and i firmly confident Chase won't recommend as such, because such topics can be dangerous. Most girlschase members who have adjusted fundamentals have already recognize such power just by shifting few things. and they just autoreject their own power. It's just a place where your skill level needs to already be consistent. Then your mental level must be really up there while at the same time, assumed you are nothing. Third, and the most important. You need to merge her reality, your reality and the society's reality. Otherwise, she protects herself if she 'leans towards more society'.

Different types of girls. I'm still figuring this out because a lot of aunties, guys want to kill me, because their girls keep looking.

Like when they really look, they want to eat me. or pretend they are not looking while their body is completely open. Then there's the other part where you need to have the conversation, bring her around coffeeshop to get her up to speed because she's mesmerized by you but her reality is not close to your delusion and grandiose, and you need to close all those gap shit before doing anything.
Anyway, fuck it.

z@c+

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

EDIT never mind, I misunderstood the question. I'm not really clear though on what it means to do BDSM outside the bedroom.

People/couples actually in the BDSM lifestyle extend the dom/sub relationship well outside the bedroom activities.

The cuffs/whips/chains are sort of the icing on the cake for them. The real meat is the day to day dominant/submissive roles.

One of my natural/mentors participated in the lifestyle for decades and was breaking down some of the dynamics.

That said, there was a lot of preselection in their community - and I mean that in the normal sense - people got together, because this is what they were signing up for.

That said, the guys and gals in the lifestyle could find each other, outside of the networks. Sort of like a "game recognize game".

In those discussions with the natural, it made me wonder if some of those undercurrents/sub-communications are getting used by PUAs, who are coming at the mating game from an entirely diff. pov.

WIA

 

[trashKENNUT]

That said, the guys and gals in the lifestyle could find each other, outside of the networks. Sort of like a "game recognize game".

In those discussions with the natural, it made me wonder if some of those undercurrents/sub-communications are getting used by PUAs, who are coming at the mating game from an entirely diff. pov

Just to add.

For successful people, I would say yes. But success is subjective. I met two fighters at a public event from One Championship.

The male fighter was disappointed in a sense, because I was semi ignoring his banter, and I was in a fan mode. Successful people test you very aggressively quite immediately in a very humor, banter but also nuance if that makes sense

Another time, I have advice a guy on dating tactics and a guy I know who is cool, suddenly agreed with me. And we were looking at each other like two kings on the chessboard. We don't want to engage in a fight nor have hate. It's a stalemate in a chess kind of thing.

there's definitely sub communications that is very powerful that has yet to be explored but because it is so fluid and subject to context (we called it subjective)

it is so difficult to dissect "Game recognizes Game" because you might see me outside and say "this guy has no game at all". And then another time, you see me like "what the fuck just happened".

z@c+