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NewBeeWinner

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
364
Do you guys ever do something and later realized you messed it up?

I went on a date tonight with a girl I met on the shuttle that goes to my campus. We had a great conversation on the shuttle and I got her number, texted her, and set up the date fine.

We met at Starbucks and she was working on studying for an exam she has tomorrow. I asked if she was ok with time and she said probably. We had a great discussion and then I suggested we go for a walk, which she agreed to. As we walked outside, she noticed Christmas stuff in a nearby Lowe's that she wanted to look at. So I suggested we walk over there and did. We walked through the store for a bit, messing with different things and just having a good time. Then we left and she said she should probably go home soon (we met at 7:30 and it was now around 9). I countered that since its cold we should hangout out in my car and talk a bit. She said ok and we bussled in my car.

After talking a bit, I said "want to do something crazy" and then kissed her. She was kind of surprised and kissed back but then pulled away. She said she had a weird thing with kissing to which I asked why and she said she just does. I told her I didn't want her to be uncomfortable. I also should mention she had started her car remotely when she first got in my car. She then said she was surprised when I first asked for her number, as most guys ask her for social media. She also said it was ballsy that I kissed her. I asked if that was a good thing in a teasing way to which she said she guessed so. She also said she wouldve left if it had been a bad thing. She then said she should probably get home and began to leave. So I told her to give me one last kiss, which she kissed me twice (with a bit more tounge) then said "Ok that's enough" and got out of my car. I said "jeez what a tease" and she laughed. She turned and said "talk to you soon" then left to her car.

As I was driving home, I realized two things I messed up:

First, I gave her a bit of power when deciding that two kisses was "enough" as she left, leaving her the one making the decision. I should've said "No no no one last good kiss" or something so it was on my terms.

Second, I failed to fight her frame about going home at 9 :15 PM. I should've asked her to stay longer or to reason her that it was only 9 and she could go home and sleep 8 hours and still be fine if she stayed longer.

I also went in with hopes to lay her on the first date, but it didn't get past kissing. Its was a very cold day and snowy out. As she said "talk to you soon" I'm hoping I get a second shot, but I know deep down I probably won't. What is your guys take on it? I was aiming for a car escalation to sex after we'd make out for a few minutes. That obviously didn't happen. I'm waiting for her to text that she had a good time so I'm not texting her till she texts me first.

I feel so stupid I made simple mistakes. I built compliance throughout having her show me clothing or pictures or go for the walk or join me in my car. We had more shared experiences at Starbucks then Lowe's. I broke the touch barrier multiple times. When it came to reframing her thoughts at the important part, I failed.

What do you all think? Feedback/tips/think I still have a shot? All appreciated!
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,091
Eh..... it is how you learn. I don't think you pushed it too far. That's good. I think you have a good base for a second date.

I'd recommend the "Seppuku Cooking Date" at your place. Or a cheap outside date in the snow and cold where you go back to one of your places to sit by the fire and drink hot chocolate (and Peppermint Schnapps). Like Ice skating, or build a snowman, etc.

Don't be afraid to text her about "how her exam went" tomorrow night. once she replies, Then tell her 'hey I'm cooking dinner tomorrow (Fri/Sat) night. I've got an extra steak if you would like to join...."
 

NewBeeWinner

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
364
So a quick update, I have since texted her how her exam went and got no response. I then waited a day then messaged her that I'm free coming up if she'd like to join me for smores and hot chocolate. Also no response.

So I'm going to give it a few more days then maybe switch it up to calling her. If it goes to voicemail, I'll drop her and move on. It's wild to think that one would lose a girl so easily. They really can change their mind quick if you don't do everything just right.
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,091
NewBeeWinner said:
So a quick update, I have since texted her how her exam went and got no response. I then waited a day then messaged her that I'm free coming up if she'd like to join me for smores and hot chocolate. Also no response.

So I'm going to give it a few more days then maybe switch it up to calling her. If it goes to voicemail, I'll drop her and move on. It's wild to think that one would lose a girl so easily. They really can change their mind quick if you don't do everything just right.

Cut bait and move on. You gave her a chance and she missed her window.
You have another data point for future encounters.
 
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