Do you have to be really out going to have success with girls?

metalbird

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I've noticed that all the guys that I know that do really well with women seem to always be super high energy and outgoing. Now, that doesn't mean that all the guys that I know that are super outgoing do well with women, but still. the guys that seem to have success, it's not that they're bubbly or friendly, but there are always dominant and teasing and pushing things forward while still giving off the impression of it all being effortless. Maybe it is for most of them.

my issue is that, my personality is just not naturally that expressive. I'm not lacking in confidence, I'm not depressed or sad, I know how to socialize, and I generally feel quite dominant over most of the women I come in with. However, a lot of the time, I just have other things on my mind -- work usually, or responsibilities -- and I really don't feel like putting on a show just for the off chance of getting laid. What I find, is that most of the time women perceive me as either too aloof, intimidating, or just boring. but a lot of the time, if I do try and actually make an effort, then it winds up coming across as phoned-in, or I over do it and and come across as too nice.
 

naturalmikey

Cro-Magnon Man
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i’m not very outgoing at all. but i’m really good one on one. i have managed to get all the benefits of game not only in spite of this but because of it. i’ve dated models, bartenders, high end escorts, and every other type of girl. i’ve been with all races. i became friends with a club promoter and can get into the hottest clubs in la and only have to bring one girl. and i did all this in my mid thirties.

i used to watch infield’s of really outgoing guys like rsd max and wish i was more like him. but now i’m glad i’m not. i have more of a todd v personality. i actually never really liked him because i thought he was boring. but honestly he has the best current content despite it being recycled pua content. you might wanna check him out. his channel is todd v dating.
 

Jakeroviks

Space Monkey
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You are me.

Quiet confidence is powerful. Girls absolutely love it.

I've never been a cold approach guy. I'm terrible at it, because like you, it's incongruent with my natural, carefree personality. The girls can smell the lack of authenticity.

However, when it comes to dates with a girl I like, I absolutely kill it. Why? Because instead of approaching random chicks on the street, I actually WANT to be there. It's fun and she joins in on that fun.

I've struggled a lot with the idea of learning cold approach and bars/ clubs, but I've finally come to peace with it. It's just not my thing, and it never will be. Despite that, I've been with beautiful, smart, interesting women. Those RSD guys can run around nightclubs picking up 6s, I'll stick with my diamonds in the rough.
 

naturalmikey

Cro-Magnon Man
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i agree most of the rsd guys have low standards. but julien and todd are pimps.
 

Jakeroviks

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naturalmikey said:
i agree most of the rsd guys have low standards. but julien and todd are pimps.
Maybe, but their goal is still going out to get women. And julien got stomped in his media scandal.

They're chasing women, they just hide it well.
 

metalbird

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Jakeroviks said:
You are me.
I've never been a cold approach guy. I'm terrible at it, because like you, it's incongruent with my natural, carefree personality. The girls can smell the lack of authenticity.

However, when it comes to dates with a girl I like, I absolutely kill it.
How do you get dates without cold approach?
 

naturalmikey

Cro-Magnon Man
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metalbird said:
Jakeroviks said:
You are me.
I've never been a cold approach guy. I'm terrible at it, because like you, it's incongruent with my natural, carefree personality. The girls can smell the lack of authenticity.

However, when it comes to dates with a girl I like, I absolutely kill it.
How do you get dates without cold approach?
i mostly do warm approach off of eye contact and online dating. i also do cold approach, just not that often.
 

Space

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naturalmikey-
naturalmikey said:
i used to watch infield’s of really outgoing guys like rsd max and wish i was more like him. but now i’m glad i’m not. i have more of a todd v personality. i actually never really liked him because i thought he was boring. but honestly he has the best current content despite it being recycled pua content. you might wanna check him out. his channel is todd v dating.
Max is too outgoing to you, you are more like Todd. Where does Julien fit in this equation? Besides what you wrote about him in your AMA thread.
 

strictlyincreasing

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Oct 24, 2017
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naturalmikey said:
i’m not very outgoing at all. but i’m really good one on one. i have managed to get all the benefits of game not only in spite of this but because of it. i’ve dated models, bartenders, high end escorts, and every other type of girl. i’ve been with all races. i became friends with a club promoter and can get into the hottest clubs in la and only have to bring one girl. and i did all this in my mid thirties.

i used to watch infield’s of really outgoing guys like rsd max and wish i was more like him. but now i’m glad i’m not. i have more of a todd v personality. i actually never really liked him because i thought he was boring. but honestly he has the best current content despite it being recycled pua content. you might wanna check him out. his channel is todd v dating.
But didn't you have to go out on your daygame sessions to learn? Plowing through your first 500 rejections, you need to be outgoing, high energy etc. right?
 

naturalmikey

Cro-Magnon Man
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i think julien is naturally introverted but pushed himself. i’ve never met him though so i don’t know.

my first approach was daygame at the north ridge mall in the san fernando valley region of los angeles. really hot 23 year old. there’s a train for kids that goes through the mall and i fingered her on it. i couldn’t believe it. i was like pickup is easy. not true. for some reason she just really liked my face. i probably did another 100 approaches before having more success. but i’ve never been outgoing. i can merge sets and do all that outgoing flashy stuff but it’s not necessary. it just looks cool. all you really have to do is just keep talking.
 
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