Do you stand in your own way?

[Drck]

I'm sitting in a restaurant with friends, and this waiter comes. He is a young guy, I'm guessing 20-22, nice, good clean clothes, shaved and combed. Very pleasant and sympathetic, smiling, outgoing, and normal "nice guy". He is not fat, you can see that he exercises.

We order and one of mine friends asks whether he goes to college. Yes, starting his third year, studying engineering.

Wow, I'm thinking, THIS IS a good man, young and motivated, determined to do something above average with his life, working quite hard in school, working hard in between semesters, taking good care of his health. He is healthy, physically and mentally. I know this guy two minutes and I am impressed, naturally I want to know more about him.

Imagine you are a young, nice looking and good girl. Hot girl. You would want to know this guy too, you would give him suggestions that you are interested, and if he doesn't get it you would invite him out, assuming that he is single. You simply feel that he is a good man to keep.

Imagine that he goes out with you (hot girl), and he REALLY is studying hard, has REALLY interest in having family, has really having positive view of this world, and he's really taking care of himself and his health. He is simply doing the right things to have a good family life. The same like you. You see that he is interested in you just by calling you and inviting you out, by trying to talk to you. He has not much of conversations skills, but who cares? You can talk for hours. He IS a good guy. Wouldn't you want to keep him? Your interest in him will skyrocket just by what is he DOING, not what is he PRETENDING to be. Who cares that he is a nice guy? He is not an abusive asshole. He will mature one day, and you can experience together. If he doesn't make a fool of himself, if he is not some fanatic, if he doesn't have some big problems like drugs or alcohol, you as a hot girl will want him and keep him.

Now imagine, that you go for a date with him and he starts pulling some PUA and seduction "skills" on you, that he is trying to "seduce" you. Why is he trying to seduce a girl, if she IS ALREADY at least partially seduced after the first two minutes? You are asking yourself. It just doesn't make sense. All he has to do is to make a move and get closer. You as a hot girl, you are not stupid, you already dealt with hundreds of guys who tried different tricks on you, who PRETENDED to be this or that but ARE NOT. Maybe you are shy yourself, all you see around is hungry young cocks who will do ANYTHING to trick you and get you to bed, so you have to be quite careful.

Now he starts pulling you to bed in some awkward "sophisticated" way when he is trying to be cool and pretending that he doesn't want to sleep with you. He puts a TV on, and makes you watch freaking CNN - as if nothing is going on? Are you fucking serious? Maybe you want to have sex, maybe you are not ready, but no matter what, you know that he wants to sleep with you and this CNN thing to keep you calm is quite a good trick. But now you are suspicious because his behavior is unusual. He then starts pulling on you that he is some mysterious lover of many women, he has glassy eyes here and there, he doesn't want to say much about himself, and he kind of suggests that he "deals" with hot women on daily bases thus have lots of experience.

What would you as a hot girl say to him? True, you may fuck with him just to see how different he really is than other dudes, and if you are horny. But would you want to keep him? Fuck no, you are quite disappointed, maybe worry that he might have STD. I would say to him, get the fuck out of my life dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?? I would dump his ass on the spot, and could care less whether his feelings are hurt or not. What a moron, weirdo.

Ok, it is quite over-simplified, but think about it. Getting a good hot women is much simpler than it looks. Just build YOUR life doing what YOU want, be simple and keep it simple, go to places where you can meet lots of women or get a job where there are lots of women. CLOSE when she is ready, and BE READY, you never know when she appears in your life...

What the fuck do you need seduction skills for, why do you need to pretend to be someone you are not??

 

[Marty]

Drck:

What you are speaking of, in the language of this site, is essentially working only with "fundamentals" and no "game". Here's an article that addresses that issue directly: Do You Really Need to Learn Game to Get Girls?

However, I want to come at it from a slightly different angle. I kind of see where you are coming from, but at the same time I disagree. I think in some ways it depends on what your goal is. Here's how you defined it:

Getting a good hot women is much simpler than it looks.

What you describe is actually more or less exactly how I ran things around 12 years ago. As a result I landed a woman who was—is—hot, kind, intelligent, has a pleasant social manner, and feminine.

If I could live my life again, with one condition imposed upon me that I select a single woman for life, I'd pick the same woman again. Almost no question about it. There was nothing lacking in her as such.

So what's missing from this formula? Not quality, I believe, but variety.

Your method seems sound if you want to get a hot woman. Not necessarily the one you'd choose if you had abundant availability; not necessarily one who makes your heart leap for joy. Just a hot one. Good enough for you... better, frankly, than you might think you deserve.

Only—when I examine my intentions, my motivations, my yearnings in life—that's not what I want. Not exactly. It's certainly better than a multitude of other possibilities... no sense in complaining, right?

Here's how I defined my vision in a recent PM to another user. I'm going to copy-paste. Laugh if you want. I don't care

How I view romance is as follows: When I see a girl I am romantically interested in, I dream of going alone with her to an apartment somewhere nearby... my place, her place, it doesn't matter. I dream of making love to her.

I dream of doing things together... not buddy-buddy things, romantic things. Not social things, with others involved. Just the two of us. Perhaps do something crazy we have never done before—and will never do again. When we are busy with tedious matters, we will not see each other. We will only meet when we have time to devote to each other.

That will be our bond. It will be a secret bond, no one else need know of it. I shan't bring her into society as a "date". I could care less what others think. She will have other lovers, before me, after me and maybe at the time of our romance, if she is conventionally "attached"—it matters not to me, for it is secret.

And I imagine that it will end before the bloom rubs off the romance. We will look back on it and remember it with pleasure, because we never allowed it to drag on for too long and degenerate into the mundane, tiresome business of the day-to-day.

After it ends, I will wish for her to have many similar experiences. The fact that she remembers me will add to my happiness. And as for myself, I will actively seek out further experiences of this kind, so that I may make many more women, and myself, that little bit happier.

That's why I'm here. That's why I'm involved with GirlsChase.

You can't do that with fundamentals alone, Drck.

-Marty

 

[Drck]

True, I'm a big fan of fundamentals. What I wrote was in essence a response to what some guys do in ROK. They don't aim high, they are happy with 4-7 types. With fundamentals and simple attitude, those are easy, no or little work. 8 and higher require more work, maintenance, and at the end they may not be any better than 5... When I mention hot woman, I mean the one that makes you weak at your knees. Not just look, but personality, style, romance, good background, 8-9 and so on. I'm not sure if I would even want 10, that is just too much, too of a perfection. I don't even know any 10, except the one that used to be in my dreams

Human communication is 80-90% of body language. That is huge! Women were born experts on human communication, reading body language is their nature, and they WILL know what kind of guy you are - long before you open your mouth. That is why I consider fundamentals so important. You can nail 8-9 with just good fundamentals too, you just have to have strong frame. Think about it, there is not enough real men in this society anymore, if you become one you will be a rarity wherever you are.

MAN worries about what HE wants, and he works for it hard, he builds his world around it. He doesn't really care much about what SHE wants. Reading these comments here, it always seems that guys worry too much about what SHE wants, what SHE thinks and says, what she does - and they try to adjust themselves to it so they can get pussy. They try to adjust themselves to women, they try to live in women's world. That is wrong, wrong, wrong, it should be the other way. The results of this behavior than influence the whole society, like those women in marines - who can't even do 3 pull ups. The whole society is womanized, weak, indecisive and becoming a joke for the rest of the world...

On the other hand, to be fair, my scale might be little bit off. I'm from different country with different background. Thinking about it, I spent a lot of time with real men when I was younger, perhaps that is a reason why I see today so many adult boys around who should be men but are not. I already have very high education, and I have a huge potential to make really good money. And hopefully I will in weeks, if not in days. Women can see that, they have some type of smell, and the hot-good ones are not stupid. They WILL find you.

Those numbers (5, 6, ..., 10) are relative too, they change depending on what interest you have in that woman. I know women 8-9 in whom I had very high interest. They are still 8-9 but my interest dropped, I view them as if they were casual 5. I even caught myself thinking how fucking boring they can be...

As far as romance, the way I see it, it is just a feeling. There is nothing wrong with that feeling, my personal problem is that it gets too high, it paralyzes me, and I am unable to nail her on time. That is why I have to suppress it, focus more on sex. The thing is, once you get used to sex the interest in romance drops. It is like a double sword, it's difficult to find a balance...

Good talk Marty, keep it up