Do you still get Friend zone even you've slept with the girl?

[Duke22]

Is it possible?

Cause I just read ' signs you're deep in the friend zone'.

And........most if it applied to my situation. So, am I getting friend zone or something even when I've slept with the girl.

It's making me feel like a huge Manly insult.

Let me know quick cause I'm getting cold on her.

 

[andersen09]

What's the backstory to this?
And what were events that took place after you slept with her?

 

[Richard]

Going to need more information here.

Keep in mind, you need to sleep with a girl 2-4 times before she established any real loyalty to you. If you sleep with a girl only one time, then yes, you can end up in the friend zone. It's also possible after the 2nd and 3rd time of meeting up and fucking but it diminishes a lot!

I feel that's something guys underestimate - just because a girl sleeps with you once (or for one day!) that doesn't mean she's loyal to you yet.

-Richard

 

[Duke22]

Okay,

I was in hurry and pissed off......so didn't go in full details.

I've slept with her like ...I don't know....but enough. Like maybe 20-30 times.

But I want to clear one thing......do I got ego issue or what. Cause I get angry real quick. And take things really personal.

Richard,

You talked about loyalty......don't know much about that. But ....( I might be wrong) ....I don't really think a girl can be 'one guy girl' only. I'm sorry if this is wrong thinking or I am being negative.

The thing is.....I just read the chase's article 'signs you are deep in friend zone' ....and to my surprise....many signs are true in my case. And the only thing that really hurted me....when I read that 'when girls mentions or talk about meeting other guy with your support....for her you are nothing for her, and that's a biggest Manly insult you can ever receive as a man'

THAT HURTED A LOT.

She did this twice or something to me. So, I don't think loyalty is something i can get where I'm at right now.

Edit : one question

How do you know what position you have with a girl? Where do you stand with her?


Aaahh....I'm making so many mistakes while learning.

 

[lostnumber]

Aaahh....I'm making so many mistakes while learning.

If you never made mistakes, you wouldn't learn anything. Its only from getting things wrong that we figure out how to do them differently. Just keep at it!

 

[mindful]

Okay,

I was in hurry and pissed off......so didn't go in full details.

I've slept with her like ...I don't know....but enough. Like maybe 20-30 times.

But I want to clear one thing......do I got ego issue or what. Cause I get angry real quick. And take things really personal.

Richard,

You talked about loyalty......don't know much about that. But ....( I might be wrong) ....I don't really think a girl can be 'one guy girl' only. I'm sorry if this is wrong thinking or I am being negative.

The thing is.....I just read the chase's article 'signs you are deep in friend zone' ....and to my surprise....many signs are true in my case. And the only thing that really hurted me....when I read that 'when girls mentions or talk about meeting other guy with your support....for her you are nothing for her, and that's a biggest Manly insult you can ever receive as a man'

THAT HURTED A LOT.

She did this twice or something to me. So, I don't think loyalty is something i can get where I'm at right now.

Edit : one question

How do you know what position you have with a girl? Where do you stand with her?


Aaahh....I'm making so many mistakes while learning.

hmm. my guess is your frame has changed from when she first met you so she has lost attraction. If you fuck a girl 20-30 times then she obviously likes you.

How has your behavior changed from the beginning til now? Are you being needy? Did something that made her lose respect for you as a lover?

 

[andersen09]

Okay,

I was in hurry and pissed off......so didn't go in full details.

I've slept with her like ...I don't know....but enough. Like maybe 20-30 times.

But I want to clear one thing......do I got ego issue or what. Cause I get angry real quick. And take things really personal.

Richard,

You talked about loyalty......don't know much about that. But ....( I might be wrong) ....I don't really think a girl can be 'one guy girl' only. I'm sorry if this is wrong thinking or I am being negative.

The thing is.....I just read the chase's article 'signs you are deep in friend zone' ....and to my surprise....many signs are true in my case. And the only thing that really hurted me....when I read that 'when girls mentions or talk about meeting other guy with your support....for her you are nothing for her, and that's a biggest Manly insult you can ever receive as a man'

THAT HURTED A LOT.

She did this twice or something to me. So, I don't think loyalty is something i can get where I'm at right now.

Edit : one question

How do you know what position you have with a girl? Where do you stand with her?


Aaahh....I'm making so many mistakes while learning.

You're getting mad because how the girl is treating you is different from how you think the girl should be treating you and in return it threatens the self image you have of yourself, which results in feeling anger out of fear. When you feel angry, take time to meditate on it and really look at why you feel angry. For me, when I was going through the path, I had my first girl who I lost my virginity to flirt with other men in front of me in my younger days. And I would get mad because in my head, I deserved respect and loyalty from her because I gave her my virginity, but to her it wasn't anything of special because she was more experienced. She was also testing to see what type of man I was at that time which I failed miserably.

From here, let the girl be a lesson for you. Reframe your thoughts from short term goals to long term goals.

An example, Short Term
"She's a BITCH how dare does she treat ME like a friend zone guy?"

Long Term
"Okay, I'm on my path to become a rock solid guy, and this girl is also trying to help me get better. She's only treating me a certain way, NOT because she's a bitch, but I acted in ways where other guys who are friend zone material would act as also"

I'm just throwing out shit here but as far as your ANGER, it's a sign that there's something off about how you view the world and the reality of your current situation. You need to fix something in your reality in order for you to become who you believe you are deep inside.

Hope that helps.

 

[Parkour]

With some girls, friend zoning is best thought of as a subconscious test/challenge that protects her feelings. Unless you have a history of catastrophizing, it’s a good time to take a hard look at the situation.
For her, friend zoning is a strategy that allows you two to sort of transition out of a sexual relationship into a different one that doesn’t hurt her ego and she probably thinks will do less damage to you.
If you come back with commitment or investment though, it’ll be a bad dynamic because it would only work if she was doing this as a result of autorejection (not boredoms or loss of attraction) and it’s really a you lowering yourself to her level rather than a lifting her up a little strategy which is how most women in autorejection tend to prefer you handle it.

The only way to turn this around assuming it’s not autorejection is to disrupt her frame entirely.
You could try and double down and out friend-zone her like it was your idea and then move on and hope she chases. Good luck with that...

Better would be to level up yourself and assume the corresponding higher status and attraction that go along with it. It usually means breaking any default friend-zone reinforcing habits and just sort of shift in another direction toward confident, independence where you can attract higher status girls than her. This is a growth opportunity to expand your comfort zone. Even then, it could become a cycle where she uplevels her friendzoning capabilities in a sort of unspoken competition. One that might make you better faster but beat you up at the same time.
Either way, you’re hoping she submits if you want to keep it going and on track. There is an opportunity to learn here but also an opportunity cost.

 

[Richard]

Loyalty doesn't mean she's solely yours - just means that she's willing to keep seeing you and sleeping with you. A girl doesn't stop sleeping with/trying to find other men unless she feels you're her best option and she ABSOLUTELY cannot afford to lose you.

We still need more information, as well. Is this girl STILL sleeping with you? What exactly has changed in her behavior?

I get that you said you read the article and a lot of things Chase mentioned are things you're experiencing but what are they exactly? I'm kind of left in the dark about exactly what is going on between you and this girl - just lay it out flat and concise for us so we can help you more.

That aside, yes, I would say you have an ego issue because of exactly how you're behaving, right now. I don't know exactly what this girl is doing but the way you're reacting is not attractive to women (at all) and she's going to sniff it out and figure out what the deal is. It sounds like this girl and you haven't said anything about dating/boyfriend-girlfriend stuff so I can reasonably assume she's not your girlfriend AND because she's not your girlfriend, she's free to do whatever she wants; including fuck another guy. So, you shouldn't really be so emotionally involved that this hurts you because she's not yours.

Honestly, I can't even relate how I would handle this because I'm not exactly sure what is going on and don't have enough context; me reading that 14 point article isn't going to help me (or any other poster) understand your situation.

-Richard

 

[Duke22]

Back story :

First time I saw her this January, in social gathering. Two months or more later I saw her again, in social gathering, found out she was friend of my cousin sister. Let's call this girl "20" as she is 20 years old. But I was busy with other girls at that time. 20 saw me with girls few times. Like when I was on a couch between 4 girls flirting with me heavily and all that. I saw my sister talking to her looking at me. I knew they were talking about me (20 told me later that my sister told her she can talk to me as I'm cool guy) 20 was smiling at me, but I was busy with other girls so didn't notice much.

I'll make it short.

We met up again.... Talked to her, although talking to her was difficult, as she don't even reply normally. Met her few times in social gathering, break the touch barriers, used sex talk, told her about my fucking sessions and all that, conversation dropped dead, sexual tension rose. I made bold move, she didn't resist, then escalated to sex. Little resistance.

From there, things started. I told her so much about myself, about my past girls, serial encounters and all. She started calling me a lot. But I was little okay only for her as I knew she's Conservative.

Anyway, things started getting messy when I realised that she also have other guys, because at that point I started really liking her a lot. Got disappointed, and of course.... Angry.

From there I've been getting angry as she started resisting sex, which made me think that she doesn't love me anymore or else she wouldn't resist sex.

And I started getting even more disappointed.

Whats else to say?

She's behaving differently, not so submissive anymore. Just resists here and there.

Do I break up with her?

 

[Duke22]

Update :

I had my phone switched off for 2 days as I knew she'll call me, I didn't wanted to talk to her at that time. That's why I didn't reply instantly to this thread.

When I switched on it, she called, asking a little favour. I declined, she persists I declined. She got angry when I didn't show up. Haven't talked to her after that till now. She's not even calling me. Usually she used to call me 5 times a day and we'd talk. But these days, no call in 2 days. Although I'm not angry she's not calling, as I don't talk to other girls over phone.

 

[andersen09]

Update :

I had my phone switched off for 2 days as I knew she'll call me, I didn't wanted to talk to her at that time. That's why I didn't reply instantly to this thread.

When I switched on it, she called, asking a little favour. I declined, she persists I declined. She got angry when I didn't show up. Haven't talked to her after that till now. She's not even calling me. Usually she used to call me 5 times a day and we'd talk. But these days, no call in 2 days. Although I'm not angry she's not calling, as I don't talk to other girls over phone.

Basically, you became needy and showed signs of insecurity, which results in her treating you a certain way. It was merely a test to see how you'd react when she "let you" find out she had other guys.

But at the same time, this isn't the type of girl you want to date as it'll cause headaches down the road.

So what's your next move?

Whether you have other women or not, you still have to operate from a place of abundance, which basically means a place of giving value to her life instead of needing her, I.E needy behaviors.

Don't call her.
Give it about a week, minimum 5 days,

Here you want to set a precedent with this girl that says
"If you're going to be seeing other men, I'll be seeing other women"

You can't really say it to her outright, cause from seeing what you're telling me, it's not really a serious relationship, more of a casual one.
So instead, you show it to her over time and "hint" at it.

After about a week, send her a text.
"Hey, I just kind of got distracted last few days. Whats up"

And from here slowly work yourself back up.

Meaning, if you gave her 5 hours a day, that's too much. Just give her 5-10 minutes and at max half an hour. And go do other shit.
These behaviors are basically signs of a high value guy, which also means you're going to add value to her life, as long as the way she treats you changes.

And from here you can slowly build up more time if her behaviors changes towards you.
If not, I'd say it's best to move on.

Try it out and hope this helps.