Do you think it's really possible for guys like us to settle??

[Smiling_Stray]

Alright I've seen this too much here and experienced it myself to not wonder. I'm talking about that sudden yearning to explore more or add variety to your sex life (while in a relationship). Personally, it put me between a rock and hard place every so often after a certain point in a LTR but eventually I was able to get more content but then it became too easy to fall out of practice and into a passion trap. Seems I'm not alone, most guys here seem to have a similar story.

For me that's a bit problematic. Ya'll are recoil at this goal but I stand by it: I wanna start building a family in my late 20's to early 30's. Boom. said it. Meant it. Here to represent it. Now hold on, hold on, I don't mean like settle into full on stay at home parenting or any shit. I mean, I want to be in a commited LTR and own a house with that person by then. Kids is very situational and something that I'd be more open to after a certain point. I'll get to that in a minute.

I've had the thought of exploring and experiencing the world thrown at me a lot here. It sounds like an awesome idea, but even after just exploring my own country a bit I can safely say I'm not someone who likes to be a lone wolf for a long time. I prefer to do stuff with another person I'm connected to. And friends don't tend to scratch that itch for me. I want to explore the world, get into trouble, experience everything there is to experience... with another person. Obviously threesomes would be something I would like to include in my lifestyle as a more frequent thing than most people. So just because I set up with someone, doesn't necessarily mean that sex exploration stops happening. Just gets to be a bigger act.

Polyamory sounds cool too, but it gets confusing for me when the possibility of kids becomes a thing. Which honestly, I don't want to be too long after I get some financial stability or at the latest of my mid 30s (That's when most of the men in my family have kids, my brother's married and in his early 30's, my parents had me when in their mid 30s... you get the point. It's almost an expectation I have engrained in me and don't have much against). Furthermore, I have a hard time believing those connections are as intimate but honestly I wouldn't know.

I've had this question linger in my head my entire life and it's caused some inner conflict that at some points got very self-destructive. Thoughts?

 

[Rakehell]

There’s nothing wrong with this. I think the term settle is sort of viewed in one light, i.e becoming a one woman, white picket fence, family man.

Right now can I see myself doing this? No, but who’s to say what I feel in the future. This is not settling to me because it’s going for what you want.

Now as for settling as a whole like some guys do. For example settling for something lesser than one set out for, I probably couldn’t do this. Like those guys who picture something for themselves but don’t know where or how to achieve it so they go for next best or second best or something way off base to their desire.

Can’t say i’d ever settle in that way, i’d much rather keep struggling, maybe even till death.

 

[Alpha13SC]

I often sometimes think about this and wondering if I will ever be in an ltr for the rest of my life, and if I ll ever get bored. My whole childhood is filled with this kind of family, my parents, other friend's parents who are still togheter after 20-30years, my grandparents. What I observed is that the communication between them is close to non existent somehow.

I don't want to take my ltr for granted, nor I want to feel that way. So I have this mindset now(maybe it will change in future, but for now, for me it's the best idea): to have something I'm working on, myself through gym, a business, to have something that keeps me occupied, a purpose that will fulfil my life, and ltr is there to stay by my side while I'm achieving my purpose. Also, I'll take full responsability for ltr in terms of growing(new stuff, traveling, management, etc) and trying to keep it as meaningful and lustful as possible. There are chances to fail, but for that's my purpose, to keep me focused even if I ll have another woman near me. Also, trying to become better than yesterday/last year(maybe better looking, more money, better assets, etc) basically improving as long as I can.

In my parent's relationship, they somehow remained happy and make one to another acts of kindness and flirt. My dad had to work in another country for a long period of time, multiple times. He was returning few weeks every 3-4 months. This lasted for a few years. Somehow, the "I miss you" part I think kept the desire between them. So creating space between me and my gf is desired for creating lust. Also, he has a manly, responsable frame(he had a business and had to be a leader, sometimes a tough leader because of the people) and my mom respected that, so I learned that also.

Basically, every time I m wondering how my life will go from a romantic point of view, I'm stopping for a moment and actually ask myself why I'm not asking myself how to make more money or to fulfil my dreams because there's so much more than just relationships. Shit can happen sometimes, marriage fail, or maybe not, having kids or not. What I can do is to improve myself and my skills to be prepared for those times, and focusing on a higher purpose because that's how I feel.

Also, I don't really like the term of "relationship", maybe interaction between me and a woman, doesn't sound so "taking for granted", even if implies exclusivity, because there's some degree of uncertanity. I lost a friend yesterday, so even getting to actually mary or getting to 50yo isn't a certain thing. What is certain is the present moment and my choice to do things how I want because I want them in a certain way, not because society, guidelines, or another entity told me to do.

Maybe my post doesn't really answer your question, but show things in another perspective.

 

[Beam]

I lost a friend yesterday, so even getting to actually mary or getting to 50yo isn't a certain thing. What is certain is the present moment and my choice to do things how I want because I want them in a certain way, not because society, guidelines, or another entity told me to do.

Great post and sorry to hear about your friend. I also lost one this year way too early, who I had always been quite envious of as he had been with many women and had just moved in with the girl he was probably going to marry and have kids with. Felt left behind. Then suddenly, gone. Definitely gives you a new perspective on life.

 

[ulrich]

Yeah, definitely.
At some point in your life you’re gonna switch from prioritizing adventure to prioritize partnership and commitment.

That may happen to you at 50 or 60… maybe even older… but definitely going to happen.

No one stays a bachelor forever, either because you want a family or you’ve grown old and game lost its appeal.

Now… that most likely won’t happen at your 30s or 40s… but it will be a gradual transition.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Men chase Sex. Women chase relationships.

Correct.

"Women hate other women"
"Women are people first".

I say wait a minute. Girlschase, don't fall!

Are we missing something? I'm glad that Chase Amante recent articles has been very careful on object/ive, vehicle to express something and then the variables. At least this is what I perceive.

Women don't hate other women.
It's VALUE ASS-EESING. Value Assessment and Allocation.

Men don't want marriage.
Men wants to be 'Compartmentalize' for a moment.

What Men need
- 'Compartmentalize' (Religion calls this the House, at least in my opinion)
- Conquer States (States = Females)

z@c+

 

[Smiling_Stray]

I often sometimes think about this and wondering if I will ever be in an ltr for the rest of my life, and if I ll ever get bored. My whole childhood is filled with this kind of family, my parents, other friend's parents who are still togheter after 20-30years, my grandparents. What I observed is that the communication between them is close to non existent somehow.

I don't want to take my ltr for granted, nor I want to feel that way. So I have this mindset now(maybe it will change in future, but for now, for me it's the best idea): to have something I'm working on, myself through gym, a business, to have something that keeps me occupied, a purpose that will fulfil my life, and ltr is there to stay by my side while I'm achieving my purpose. Also, I'll take full responsability for ltr in terms of growing(new stuff, traveling, management, etc) and trying to keep it as meaningful and lustful as possible. There are chances to fail, but for that's my purpose, to keep me focused even if I ll have another woman near me. Also, trying to become better than yesterday/last year(maybe better looking, more money, better assets, etc) basically improving as long as I can.

In my parent's relationship, they somehow remained happy and make one to another acts of kindness and flirt. My dad had to work in another country for a long period of time, multiple times. He was returning few weeks every 3-4 months. This lasted for a few years. Somehow, the "I miss you" part I think kept the desire between them. So creating space between me and my gf is desired for creating lust. Also, he has a manly, responsable frame(he had a business and had to be a leader, sometimes a tough leader because of the people) and my mom respected that, so I learned that also.

Basically, every time I m wondering how my life will go from a romantic point of view, I'm stopping for a moment and actually ask myself why I'm not asking myself how to make more money or to fulfil my dreams because there's so much more than just relationships. Shit can happen sometimes, marriage fail, or maybe not, having kids or not. What I can do is to improve myself and my skills to be prepared for those times, and focusing on a higher purpose because that's how I feel.

Also, I don't really like the term of "relationship", maybe interaction between me and a woman, doesn't sound so "taking for granted", even if implies exclusivity, because there's some degree of uncertanity. I lost a friend yesterday, so even getting to actually mary or getting to 50yo isn't a certain thing. What is certain is the present moment and my choice to do things how I want because I want them in a certain way, not because society, guidelines, or another entity told me to do.

Maybe my post doesn't really answer your question, but show things in another perspective.

That's a good perspective to have and definitely worth including in the conversation we're having. I'm quite envious of your parents sounds like they had a good thing. There's a lot to be learned there. I'm jealous of you too, I was raised up in very divided household without a father (for the most part, weekend dad).

Sorry to hear about your friend, honestly, I'm in a place for the next day or two that leaves some of my own health up in the air. Just taking it day by day, kinda like you (it seems). Waiting on doctors...

I like to be ready for anything I can think of that I can be ready for. For me, I've known what I want from most other aspects of my life and by extent, how to get there and what the next step in my journey is there for a few years now. That doesn't mean I've gotten to mastery of those aspects, but what I'm saying is; I'm focusing on the romantic and sexual part of my life here because it's the part I have the most questions in relation to and the part of my life that's so easy for me to neglect. So I need to put more focus into it personally because I'm a natural in most other parts of my life: financing, my career (writing), finding sort term pay, knowing what I want out of my life, ect, ect. (minus the fact that I was the laziest motherfucka for a good portion of my life until I got a serious wake up call, but that's another story that's not relevant here).

 

[Smiling_Stray]

Yeah, definitely.
At some point in your life you’re gonna switch from prioritizing adventure to prioritize partnership and commitment.

That may happen to you at 50 or 60… maybe even older… but definitely going to happen.

No one stays a bachelor forever, either because you want a family or you’ve grown old and game lost its appeal.

Now… that most likely won’t happen at your 30s or 40s… but it will be a gradual transition.

That's interesting. Is age really that relevant? Always thought it was more experience related... huh. Closer to the end of my ltr I got much more comfortable with the idea. It was gradual like you said. Then again, that might've also been part of the problem that caused to kick the bucket so fuck if I know.

I've never really been someone planning to live to a hundred, so that just seems really late to me. Always been someone who wants to live a faster paced life and go ahead of schedule haha. Kinda envisioned my early 20s being more of a blur

For me personally, college is just around the corner so maybe getting out of the countryside and into a more populated area will get things speeding up

 

[Smiling_Stray]

Ok here's something else relevant to time and experience that just hit while I was reading these. I'll just throw it out there: What do you think would a reasonable body count look like at certain points in your life? I mean, sure circumstances are different and skill level is different for everyone. But how about for the typical reader here? You ever wonder if you're behind where you should be or if you've actually managed to get ahead? Obviously the goal of this place is to get ahead and get as many as you can, but if you had to set a goal for a few years down the line... how many more sounds realistic?

 

[ulrich]

That's interesting. Is age really that relevant? Always thought it was more experience related... huh. Closer to the end of my ltr I got much more comfortable with the idea. It was gradual like you said. Then again, that might've also been part of the problem that caused to kick the bucket so fuck if I know.

Well, I think it’s really a mix of age (your libido dries over the years), experience and exposure.

Exposure is a big part… like demand and offer… you won’t feel so eager to look for new relationships if you don’t meet attractive females often.

 

[Smiling_Stray]

Well, I think it’s really a mix of age (your libido dries over the years), experience and exposure.

Exposure is a big part… like demand and offer… you won’t feel so eager to look for new relationships if you don’t meet attractive females often.

Makes sense, I imagine some guys have also gotten to a point where they've been so overexposed or have just had plenty experience and value it less and less. I'm guessing that'd take quite a bit though.

 

[ulrich]

Makes sense, I imagine some guys have also gotten to a point where they've been so overexposed or have just had plenty experience and value it less and less. I'm guessing that'd take quite a bit though.

Or the other way around… some guys marry a decent gf, go live to the suburbs, stop approaching and then it feels like a drag to start again.

 

[Smiling_Stray]

Or the other way around… some guys marry a decent gf, go live to the suburbs, stop approaching and then it feels like a drag to start again.

Thus the importance of staying in practice, the game never ends. The goals just change, don't they?

 

[trashKENNUT]

Don't mistake the idea to want to harvest

as marriage

That's the thing though. I see this post. Man is trying to win a losing game because we all are so wired differently. On one hand, if we lean more women, we have divorce papers every 10 minutes because of how fickle the female mind is. If we lean more men, we have too much problems, and China problems, where there's abundance of men and all the women goes for the top guy until their value plummets.

It's a very interesting stage in history. The right wing conservatives of the world, are so up in their ass believing in religion and traditionalism while they add my girl friends on Facebook.

The left wing liberals of the world are so pro whatever that they don't see themselves seek value first and that in a world where value is everything, they don't see that they will lose, unless they have money and power.

And for females, that awakening at 35, won't be cool.

Bless everyone. We are in for hard times ahead. On all aspects. You will be forced to face it.

It's like God/Allah/Jesus/Awareness/universe/whatever, is making us face our own demons. At least that's how i see it. Given how universal this is.

The irony that "God" is not on the religion side, makes it even more interesting.

Example: Saudi Arabia starts getting at their travel industry.

z@c+

 

[moom]

I think about this often too. It’ll take some very special for me to even think about settling at this point.

 

[trashKENNUT]

All this things bother me, to be honest.

I'm thinking of sharing how guys like us can work around this adversarial society. Some of the guys know my real life profile. It's not so hard to find me online actually.

I have private my TikTok account. But I'm thinking of accepting only verified users from Girlschase. I don't think that there will be many people though who want to follow.

but yeah, I really want to have a heart to heart, man to man talk about what's going on and instead of boo hoo cry out loud Zac, I really want to work together with other men around the world who are basically not an ass, to navigate the social arena.

z@c+

 

[0---]

If you get good enough at game, you'll tire of it.


If you get really good you'll be able to see when a woman is worth hanging on to.


At least that's my experience. I just slowly stopped enjoying sex with lesser women.


Now will the urge never come back? Probably it will, but I'll deal with that in one way or another.