- Joined
- Jul 6, 2014
- Messages
- 469
Tonight I went on a date with a Japanese girl I cold approached back in December. We texted back and forth periodically throughout and she finally came back to my city to take an english course. She plans to finish up and then start college here. I wanted to try my cooking pull. It worked so well with tinder girls in the past and I figured if it was going to work it'd be this time. So I text her that I want to show her my favorite dinner spot in the area and
When we meet, I compliment her on her new hairstyle(dyed with brown and blonde highlights) Ask her how her week is going and guide her with my hand. when we get to the plaza, I take her to a grocery store. But as we're getting ingredients, she asks me if I have roommates(I say no). Then in a little while later, she asks if we can eat at a restaurant instead (fine :/) So as we're going out of the grocery store she asks if I live close by and then I say that yes, it's just two subway stops away.
Dinner
At dinner we're facing each other. We talk about how culture is different between japan and america and she tells me how japanese society is very judgemental and nosy. I say that when you're traveling or just living abroad you have complete social freedom because people don't expect you to follow the social norms of the current place since you're a foreigner and you also don't have to follow the norms of your home country since you aren't there right now, and you can be whoever you want to be. Then the conversation turns to how our parents met each other and in both of our cases our parents were introduced to each other by older relatives (pretty common in asian countries). So I say yea it's interesting how in some cultures they set up partners for their children but I think the downside is that it leads to people being very sexually repressed because not everyone is comfortable with family paying such close attention to their dating lives. (I could have phrased this better like instead say these cultures don't encourage dating very much when the kids are young and they just handle dating for them instead so as a result the society becomes sexually repressed). I compared that to the sex industry in japan and how it contrasts with society. She checks her watch and it's already 8 (we first met at 6:30). She asks when I need to wake up and she needs to wake up at 7 because she has class at 9. I have to wake up early too.
We talk a little more about her living situation and she has 3 roommates from all over the world. I tell her a story about how a friend had roommates who were two old couples and the couples would treat her like their daughter and at the same time she would also take care of them because they needed help with english. She thought that was wonderful and wished it was like that with her situation. Since she shared a bedroom with one of the roommates, I asked her how she liked that and if she ever walked in on her rommate doing anything naughty. She was pretty comfortable with me bringing up sex topics btw. She mentions that she wants to make a lot of money because her parents put in a lot of resources into sending her to study abroad. I relate to that as well with my own observations on how my parents had spent so much on my education and I want it to mean something and I wanted something to come out of that. She really took to this and agreed heavily. As we walk out I compliment her on her hair and how smooth it is. I use it as an excuse to feel it. She tells me people say that to her sometimes and she actually doesn't do anything to maintain it. So I tease her that she's trying to impress me by telling me her hair is naturally shiny. She finds it hilarious.
Bouncing to Ice Cream
Then we took a metro and went to an ice cream place. She asked me if it was the same stop as my home. On the metro we were sitting side by side so I tried to touch her more. For example I would graze her arm with my fingers and once I took her hand in mine to compare hand sizes. (she has tiny hands). I told her that it's good that she has tiny hands because they look dainty and attractive on a woman and she thanked me.
Unfortunately it was pretty packed in the ice cream place so we just found seats sitting across from each other again. she asks me if I know what the word Japaneasy means. and she asked if I thought Japanese girls were easy. I said "is that what people refer to it by ?" I used this to go into some of alek's sex talk routines. I started by saying well for me, one thing I like in a woman is submissiveness (she says "oh yea I know what you mean" lol...not the reaction I was expecting but also not surprised...So I specify that I mean submitting to her desires. and that one of the paradoxes of women is that they'll never be satisfied. So I cover the sexual frustration routine as well and then in the end ask her if she knew that girls can orgasm 8 different ways. She had no idea but I didn't go into that routine. So she continues by asking about japaneasy and asks again if I think japanese girls are easy. So I said, you know I haven't been on too many dates with japanese girls because theres just not that many in the US comparatively. But I've dated girls from a wide set of backgrounds and that I don't look at it that way. I tell her that I find that my most passionate relationships also had passionate beginnings. She tells me that I'm gentle. I'm not sure what she meant by that so I respond "I'm not so gentle in some ways
"
(In hindsight, this is the right track, but I could've done a better job with it. I could've said "you know I'm not really sure what it means to be 'easy'. I find that my most passionate relationships had passionate beginnings and that's because we found each other irresistible and that's a good thing")
She talks about music and asks me what I like. Her theory is that you can tell someone's personality from what music they like. Later I try a yes ladder asking her if she's having a good time and shes having a really good time and I agree that so am I. Then I ask her "and it's not super late for you is it?" To this she kinda hesitates and says that she does need to go sleep fairly soon. Then I ask if she wants to listen to some more music and she seems to agree so I sell my room set up with the spotify and google home and lights and she thinks it cool. But when I propose we go there to listen she's not down. I try to persist but she isn't up for it, and so I ask if she wants to walk instead, but she wants to leave and apologizes. I just say it's no problem and tell her I'm having a great time with her. We get some water and then she asks me if she can call an uber. So we go wait outside for her uber to arrive. There she asks me if she can ask me for help if she gets stuck on math questions in the future. (fuck! I need to avoid getting framed as the helpful math tutor) I just say " yea... but I charge a steep price for it" I don't think she understood anything beyond "yea" and she just said thanks. Maybe better would've been "well I require lots of hugs and kisses in exchange for math advice"?
After she left, she texted me thanking me for the night and saying that she hopes to get better at english. I don't know the rest of the message because my wechat is blocked at this hour. (I think she felt bad that it was hard for us to communicate) I'll respond to her tomorrow morning saying that I had a good time with her.
When we meet, I compliment her on her new hairstyle(dyed with brown and blonde highlights) Ask her how her week is going and guide her with my hand. when we get to the plaza, I take her to a grocery store. But as we're getting ingredients, she asks me if I have roommates(I say no). Then in a little while later, she asks if we can eat at a restaurant instead (fine :/) So as we're going out of the grocery store she asks if I live close by and then I say that yes, it's just two subway stops away.
Dinner
At dinner we're facing each other. We talk about how culture is different between japan and america and she tells me how japanese society is very judgemental and nosy. I say that when you're traveling or just living abroad you have complete social freedom because people don't expect you to follow the social norms of the current place since you're a foreigner and you also don't have to follow the norms of your home country since you aren't there right now, and you can be whoever you want to be. Then the conversation turns to how our parents met each other and in both of our cases our parents were introduced to each other by older relatives (pretty common in asian countries). So I say yea it's interesting how in some cultures they set up partners for their children but I think the downside is that it leads to people being very sexually repressed because not everyone is comfortable with family paying such close attention to their dating lives. (I could have phrased this better like instead say these cultures don't encourage dating very much when the kids are young and they just handle dating for them instead so as a result the society becomes sexually repressed). I compared that to the sex industry in japan and how it contrasts with society. She checks her watch and it's already 8 (we first met at 6:30). She asks when I need to wake up and she needs to wake up at 7 because she has class at 9. I have to wake up early too.
We talk a little more about her living situation and she has 3 roommates from all over the world. I tell her a story about how a friend had roommates who were two old couples and the couples would treat her like their daughter and at the same time she would also take care of them because they needed help with english. She thought that was wonderful and wished it was like that with her situation. Since she shared a bedroom with one of the roommates, I asked her how she liked that and if she ever walked in on her rommate doing anything naughty. She was pretty comfortable with me bringing up sex topics btw. She mentions that she wants to make a lot of money because her parents put in a lot of resources into sending her to study abroad. I relate to that as well with my own observations on how my parents had spent so much on my education and I want it to mean something and I wanted something to come out of that. She really took to this and agreed heavily. As we walk out I compliment her on her hair and how smooth it is. I use it as an excuse to feel it. She tells me people say that to her sometimes and she actually doesn't do anything to maintain it. So I tease her that she's trying to impress me by telling me her hair is naturally shiny. She finds it hilarious.
Bouncing to Ice Cream
Then we took a metro and went to an ice cream place. She asked me if it was the same stop as my home. On the metro we were sitting side by side so I tried to touch her more. For example I would graze her arm with my fingers and once I took her hand in mine to compare hand sizes. (she has tiny hands). I told her that it's good that she has tiny hands because they look dainty and attractive on a woman and she thanked me.
Unfortunately it was pretty packed in the ice cream place so we just found seats sitting across from each other again. she asks me if I know what the word Japaneasy means. and she asked if I thought Japanese girls were easy. I said "is that what people refer to it by ?" I used this to go into some of alek's sex talk routines. I started by saying well for me, one thing I like in a woman is submissiveness (she says "oh yea I know what you mean" lol...not the reaction I was expecting but also not surprised...So I specify that I mean submitting to her desires. and that one of the paradoxes of women is that they'll never be satisfied. So I cover the sexual frustration routine as well and then in the end ask her if she knew that girls can orgasm 8 different ways. She had no idea but I didn't go into that routine. So she continues by asking about japaneasy and asks again if I think japanese girls are easy. So I said, you know I haven't been on too many dates with japanese girls because theres just not that many in the US comparatively. But I've dated girls from a wide set of backgrounds and that I don't look at it that way. I tell her that I find that my most passionate relationships also had passionate beginnings. She tells me that I'm gentle. I'm not sure what she meant by that so I respond "I'm not so gentle in some ways
"(In hindsight, this is the right track, but I could've done a better job with it. I could've said "you know I'm not really sure what it means to be 'easy'. I find that my most passionate relationships had passionate beginnings and that's because we found each other irresistible and that's a good thing")
She talks about music and asks me what I like. Her theory is that you can tell someone's personality from what music they like. Later I try a yes ladder asking her if she's having a good time and shes having a really good time and I agree that so am I. Then I ask her "and it's not super late for you is it?" To this she kinda hesitates and says that she does need to go sleep fairly soon. Then I ask if she wants to listen to some more music and she seems to agree so I sell my room set up with the spotify and google home and lights and she thinks it cool. But when I propose we go there to listen she's not down. I try to persist but she isn't up for it, and so I ask if she wants to walk instead, but she wants to leave and apologizes. I just say it's no problem and tell her I'm having a great time with her. We get some water and then she asks me if she can call an uber. So we go wait outside for her uber to arrive. There she asks me if she can ask me for help if she gets stuck on math questions in the future. (fuck! I need to avoid getting framed as the helpful math tutor) I just say " yea... but I charge a steep price for it
" I don't think she understood anything beyond "yea" and she just said thanks. Maybe better would've been "well I require lots of hugs and kisses in exchange for math advice"?After she left, she texted me thanking me for the night and saying that she hopes to get better at english. I don't know the rest of the message because my wechat is blocked at this hour. (I think she felt bad that it was hard for us to communicate) I'll respond to her tomorrow morning saying that I had a good time with her.