Does she enjoy wasting my time or can I still seduce her?

[Railer]

Four years ago we met twice, kept in touch for about 6 months. Then silence.
(I just realized I was the one not responding one of her mails.)

Out of the blue, she contacts me again in January, says she wants to meet when I'm in the country. We maintain light contact, but when I arrive in late spring, she has an excuse against any possible arrangement.

I put the ball in her court, making clear that she has to contact me again, if interested.

She: "okay let's do it like that "
Me: "okay ... just tell me please, because it always makes me sad when nothing works out" [making sure she knows I care]
She: "okay, I'll do. maybe I'll be to your state soon "

That was two months ago. Now:

She: "tomorrow I'll pass through your state "
Me: "'passing through' might not be too bad of an idea - considering the [bad] weather what's the plan?"
She: "haha yes right xP [foreign city]"
Me: "you'll have to be a bit more concise"
She: "drive to [foreign city] - vacation"
Me: " the details, I mean. if you want to do something in [my state], it's probably more chill to do so on your way back "
She: "I return in the middle of the night from [foreign city] "
Me: "come up with something and present me a concise suggestion."
She: "not possible. I'm travelling by bus?"
Me: "I'm sorry I don't have time to chat, but you know how to reach me, anytime you have a concrete idea."
She: "ah ok"

Summing up: I made clear she may contact me when she's able to meet. She contacts me, insinuating exactly that. Then she tells me she's travelling by bus, rendering the whole thing pointless.

_Note: She could get off the bus early and I'd even take her the rest of the way to her home after spending time together. Given her displayed lack of communication skills, she obviously didn't earn such an offer._

Guys, what's your take on this?

 

[MichaelGScott]

I wouldn't even waste anymore time on her. And I certainly wouldn't make any more efforts to set up a meet. If she want's to see you, she'll make it known. Reply to her texts, but don't lead the conversation if she initiates contact. This will force her to make her intentions clear, and you no longer have to wonder if she wasting your time or not.

 

[Drck]

Ok, some answers:


She: "okay let's do it like that "
Me: "okay ... just tell me please, because it always makes me sad when nothing works out" [making sure she knows I care]
She: "okay, I'll do. maybe I'll be to your state soon "

>>>> "Please" and "it makes me sad"??? Are you begging her for something? Are you trying to make her feel sorry for you? You should never beg any girl. You should never feel sorry for yourself. It shows weakness, right here you showed her a big sign: I am a Beta guy...


She: "tomorrow I'll pass through your state "
Me: "'passing through' might not be too bad of an idea - considering the [bad] weather what's the plan?"
>>>> Are you asking HER for a plan? A guy should be leading, suggesting a plan, making a plan... She is already passing through your area, that is her plan...

She: "haha yes right xP [foreign city]"
Me: "you'll have to be a bit more concise"
She: "drive to [foreign city] - vacation"
Me: " the details, I mean. if you want to do something in [my state], it's probably more chill to do so on your way back "
>>>> She is already telling you she is interested in meeting you, she hasn't seen you for a while, she contacted you after long time, and she is going to be in your area... Read between the lines... Also, don't ask her if she wants to do "something" because she does want to do something, otherwise she wouldn't contact you...

She: "I return in the middle of the night from [foreign city] "
Me: "come up with something and present me a concise suggestion."
>>>> Again, you are asking her to be leading, which signals to her to her that you are a Beta male, passive, no actions to be expected from you...

She: "not possible. I'm travelling by bus?"
Me: "I'm sorry I don't have time to chat, but you know how to reach me, anytime you have a concrete idea."
She: "ah ok"
>>>> Ok. lets sum it. You met a girl a while ago, there may have been good vibes. She dlearly remembers you, she wants to see you. She contacts you, hinting that she wants to meet you...

A guy needs to take a charge instead of waiting what will she do. She's already done many things (from her perspective), she was expecting a guy who can LEAD her. Remember, she doesn't want to make any plans, she doesn't want to be responsible for any interaction... All she wants to believe is "I came to see my old friend and 'things' just happened unexpectedly"...

 

[Railer]

Reading between the lines ... all nice and shiny, but you may wanna read the actual lines too

A girl who's been turning down a couple of possible (easy) dates suddenly writes again to inform you that she is passing through your state.

Of course she won't be just driving around without any intent. So you ask HER plans to get something to hook into and take it from there.

For some unknown reason she is unable to form sentences or at least state ANY kind of useful information.

This seems like just another repetition of what was experienced before. She confirms by stating that she is going by bus, meaning she cannot stop anyway.

She is already telling you she is interested in meeting you, she hasn't seen you for a while, she contacted you after long time, and she is going to be in your area...

In your opinion, do girls exist who just chat somebody up on WhatsApp to kill their boredom?

I struggle to believe that too - hence this thread - but she's making great effort to appear like a tease.

All she wants to believe is "I came to see my old friend and 'things' just happened unexpectedly"...

So you sincerely believe that her desire to fool herself (into believing that) is stronger than her desire to actually set something up?

 

[Drck]

IMO it's quite easy, she will either meet you or not. How do we know? We don't, until we try...

If she wants to meet you (and not just tease), you'll make it easier by taking a lead, having some plan, suggesting places to go...

If she doesn't really want to meet you, no matter what you do she will always flake...

But remember one thing, if a girl wants you she will throw herself at you, she will do anything possible to make it happen, including traveling hours in your direction.... All you have to do is to enable it, make it reasonably possible within her reach...

Think about if you had to travel some place for hours to meet a girl you like, and yet she would still give you hard time in stead of warm welcome, you wouldn't find it exactly attractive either (multiply 10x to see how she feels)...

Also, it is unlikely that she will give you exact answers that you are looking for. She wants things "just happen", without planning and pre-planning (on her side). She will give you confusing two-way-outcome answers while hoping that you will lead her the way she hopes for. In other words, she will never say: Hey, I'm going through your town in 3 days, meet me at XYZ at 3pm, we'll have little chat and than we can go to nearby hotel to fuck, for which btw I will pay... She may think it and hope for it, but she will never say it...

 

[Frost]

I'm gonna go with Drck on this one. I think you should be a bit bolder with this girl, especially since she contacted you out of the blue after so much time. You could have told her to get off the bus, spend the evening (you actually mean night) with you and return on another bus.

A guy needs to take a charge instead of waiting what will she do. She's already done many things (from her perspective), she was expecting a guy who can LEAD her. Remember, she doesn't want to make any plans, she doesn't want to be responsible for any interaction... All she wants to believe is "I came to see my old friend and 'things' just happened unexpectedly"...

This is basically the main idea. You go to have a few drinks, she ends up at your place and you know how it goes from there.

And no matter what happened before between you two, you can't tell what she's thinking unless you give it a shot.