This is more or less asking how to make a girl my girlfriend after having sex with her and dating for a few weeks. I find the material on this site really good for general self improvement and seduction up to sex but after that there isn't much in the way of what to do after sex if you want to carry a relationship on and I'm struggling to get a clear picture of the situation I'm in. Originally I didn't want a relationship but I've grown to like this girl.
I go through in detail about those weeks (I feel it's important) but if it's too long to read the general gist is here
short version:
About 6-7 weeks ago I meet a girl by chance twice, hitting it off with her. She's just broken up with her long term boyfriend but she seems really into me. At first I'm not looking for anything serious but after we have sex after the first date (roughly two weeks after meeting) I change my mind. I'm pretty inexperienced so I'm not wonderful in bed but I don't think I'm awful (she can't believe I was a virgin and tells me I seem to know what I'm doing) and she enjoys my oral sex a lot.
Since then we've met a few times and had sex once more but I'm not sure where we stand or how I'm meant to turn it into something else. She's very concerned about having been too "easy" and says this puts her off being with me again, and though she still appears warm I often get mixed signals. I've tried to keep seeing her but this can be tricky and we only really see each other every week and a bit, even though we seem to get along. I've been waiting for her to bring up the possibility of a relationship but I wonder if that's what's she wants, cos she hasn't mentioned it at all.
long version:
Roughly 6-7 weeks ago I meet her at a house party. She's playing hard to get but I'm pretty drunk so my confidence is up and I'm moving pretty strongly with her. I'm a 19 year old virgin, she's 21. I flirt, deep dive, set sexual frames, make her laugh, etc and I can clearly see she's attracted to me. By the end of the night I have her begging to see me the next day but in my drunk arrogance I decide that if I'm not having sex with her that night I'm not gonna chase her further. At this point I don't expect to ever see her again.
1 week later I happen to bump into her at a club. Again I'm a little drunk but in my surprise I offer my phone up to her to get her number. I persist but she refuses, telling me I'd "had my chance" and that she didn't want to seem like a girl who was "easy" (this is something she's been vocally concerned about since I first met her). I tell her there's no such thing and walk off. Again, I never expect to see her again.
~2 days later she somehow finds and adds me on facebook (also updates her profile picture the same day) and as soon as I accept her request later she starts a conversation with me. She's very flirty and apologetic for her "being so rude" a couple of days before (she really wasn't that rude). We talk over facebook for a few days before it starts to taper off. I decide it's time to get her out on a date. She's very eager to and gives her my number if I "still want it".
This is now about 2 weeks after first meeting. We go to a couple of bars down the road. We hit it off immediately and I end up much more interested in her than I'd expected. She seems to be the same way towards me and having had quite a few drinks we go back to mine. I move pretty fast once we're indoors and we get sexual in the bed. We have sex for a bit but probably due to the alcohol I go flaccid and we stop. She jokes (I hope) that we're "sexually incompatible". We still end up kissing through the night and in the morning I eat her out and make her cum. At this point she tells me she's really attracted to me and that she will happily have sex with me once I have an STD test (she refuses to believe I'm a virgin for at least another week).
She texts me the next evening and stays quite keen to text. I'm awful at texting (I can take a few hours to respond), even though I stay more or less the same as before with her and remain warm and flirty. She invites me out a couple of nights but one I decline because I have to be up early and the other I reply to too late. At the time I didn't really see this as significant because I knew I'd see her again. We talk more and I ask to come see her house and she offers to cook me something.
A few days after the first date she picks me up from mine (she drives, I don't) and takes me to hers. She tells me she's never nervous expect when she's around me and she doesn't seem keen to cook anymore, so we just order food in. I stay the night and we're touchy with each other but we don't have sex. She's still anxious about being "too easy" (even though I don't care) and tells me she's never slept with anyone as quickly as she has with me (I'm not sure if I believe this but I wouldn't care either way) but she still seems very attracted to me.
About a week later (this is about 3 1/2 weeks after first meeting and about 1 1/2 weeks after we first have sex) she asks when she can come have sex with me. Arranging a time is awkward and one night she invites to pay for a taxi to come to hers but it's pretty late and I have to be up in the morning. The next day she comes to mine. We have sex once in the evening (I don't finish) and again in the morning (when I do orgasm) and I eat her out to orgasm twice during the night too. She still "doesn't understand how I'm so good at oral sex" if I'm so inexperienced, but she also mentions how she kissed a girl at the weekend (I find it strange she's so casual about it and it just confuses my view on the situation).
About 4 weeks after first meeting I invite her to mine to cook fajitas, which at first she seems enthusiastic for then declines so she can do university work. We struggle to find a time to meet and after she declines to meet another time (about 5 1/2 weeks after first meeting) I decide to leave it.
A few days later (and a few days ago) she texts me asking what I'm up to tonight. I was going out, but I asked her to get lunch with me the next day. In the end we don't, and after texting each other again late the next day she picks me up and we go back to hers. This is more or less the first night together we don't drink at all and she says it's "weird" being sober around me. We don't have sex this time either (every time we go to hers we don't) and she tells me she feels like a slut for sleeping with me so "easily" and that it was putting her off sleeping with me again. I tell her she isn't a "sex object" (as she puts it) but otherwise I'm not sure what to say, so I just tell her to cuddle me. We kiss some more and I stroke her but we don't end up having sex. I ask her if she's free the next day and she says she might be up for something later in the week. A couple of days ago I text her and this afternoon I text her again asking to see her in the evening and she texts several hours later saying she's out. If we're going from first meet, it's been just about 7 whole weeks since we first met and 5 since we first had sex (mid/late September to a week into November).
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Even though I'm inexperienced the initial 2 weeks went extremely well but I've never been at this stage before and I'm not sure what I'm meant to do (if anything) or what to expect. It's tricky cos although I'm not head over heels in love with her I do like her a lot more than I originally did and I feel like I could benefit from some kind of relationship. I wonder whether the scales have tipped the other way a little in terms of investment (because she doesn't some quite as into me as she originally did, but still pretty warm) but I can't tell who's more into who or what exactly she's thinking. Her being worried about being "easy" seems to be the problem but I wonder if there's something else, or if I'm doing fine and it's just her anxiety. I wonder if she found the sex disappointing.
Any advice I'd be really grateful for.
I go through in detail about those weeks (I feel it's important) but if it's too long to read the general gist is here
short version:
About 6-7 weeks ago I meet a girl by chance twice, hitting it off with her. She's just broken up with her long term boyfriend but she seems really into me. At first I'm not looking for anything serious but after we have sex after the first date (roughly two weeks after meeting) I change my mind. I'm pretty inexperienced so I'm not wonderful in bed but I don't think I'm awful (she can't believe I was a virgin and tells me I seem to know what I'm doing) and she enjoys my oral sex a lot.
Since then we've met a few times and had sex once more but I'm not sure where we stand or how I'm meant to turn it into something else. She's very concerned about having been too "easy" and says this puts her off being with me again, and though she still appears warm I often get mixed signals. I've tried to keep seeing her but this can be tricky and we only really see each other every week and a bit, even though we seem to get along. I've been waiting for her to bring up the possibility of a relationship but I wonder if that's what's she wants, cos she hasn't mentioned it at all.
long version:
Roughly 6-7 weeks ago I meet her at a house party. She's playing hard to get but I'm pretty drunk so my confidence is up and I'm moving pretty strongly with her. I'm a 19 year old virgin, she's 21. I flirt, deep dive, set sexual frames, make her laugh, etc and I can clearly see she's attracted to me. By the end of the night I have her begging to see me the next day but in my drunk arrogance I decide that if I'm not having sex with her that night I'm not gonna chase her further. At this point I don't expect to ever see her again.
1 week later I happen to bump into her at a club. Again I'm a little drunk but in my surprise I offer my phone up to her to get her number. I persist but she refuses, telling me I'd "had my chance" and that she didn't want to seem like a girl who was "easy" (this is something she's been vocally concerned about since I first met her). I tell her there's no such thing and walk off. Again, I never expect to see her again.
~2 days later she somehow finds and adds me on facebook (also updates her profile picture the same day) and as soon as I accept her request later she starts a conversation with me. She's very flirty and apologetic for her "being so rude" a couple of days before (she really wasn't that rude). We talk over facebook for a few days before it starts to taper off. I decide it's time to get her out on a date. She's very eager to and gives her my number if I "still want it".
This is now about 2 weeks after first meeting. We go to a couple of bars down the road. We hit it off immediately and I end up much more interested in her than I'd expected. She seems to be the same way towards me and having had quite a few drinks we go back to mine. I move pretty fast once we're indoors and we get sexual in the bed. We have sex for a bit but probably due to the alcohol I go flaccid and we stop. She jokes (I hope) that we're "sexually incompatible". We still end up kissing through the night and in the morning I eat her out and make her cum. At this point she tells me she's really attracted to me and that she will happily have sex with me once I have an STD test (she refuses to believe I'm a virgin for at least another week).
She texts me the next evening and stays quite keen to text. I'm awful at texting (I can take a few hours to respond), even though I stay more or less the same as before with her and remain warm and flirty. She invites me out a couple of nights but one I decline because I have to be up early and the other I reply to too late. At the time I didn't really see this as significant because I knew I'd see her again. We talk more and I ask to come see her house and she offers to cook me something.
A few days after the first date she picks me up from mine (she drives, I don't) and takes me to hers. She tells me she's never nervous expect when she's around me and she doesn't seem keen to cook anymore, so we just order food in. I stay the night and we're touchy with each other but we don't have sex. She's still anxious about being "too easy" (even though I don't care) and tells me she's never slept with anyone as quickly as she has with me (I'm not sure if I believe this but I wouldn't care either way) but she still seems very attracted to me.
About a week later (this is about 3 1/2 weeks after first meeting and about 1 1/2 weeks after we first have sex) she asks when she can come have sex with me. Arranging a time is awkward and one night she invites to pay for a taxi to come to hers but it's pretty late and I have to be up in the morning. The next day she comes to mine. We have sex once in the evening (I don't finish) and again in the morning (when I do orgasm) and I eat her out to orgasm twice during the night too. She still "doesn't understand how I'm so good at oral sex" if I'm so inexperienced, but she also mentions how she kissed a girl at the weekend (I find it strange she's so casual about it and it just confuses my view on the situation).
About 4 weeks after first meeting I invite her to mine to cook fajitas, which at first she seems enthusiastic for then declines so she can do university work. We struggle to find a time to meet and after she declines to meet another time (about 5 1/2 weeks after first meeting) I decide to leave it.
A few days later (and a few days ago) she texts me asking what I'm up to tonight. I was going out, but I asked her to get lunch with me the next day. In the end we don't, and after texting each other again late the next day she picks me up and we go back to hers. This is more or less the first night together we don't drink at all and she says it's "weird" being sober around me. We don't have sex this time either (every time we go to hers we don't) and she tells me she feels like a slut for sleeping with me so "easily" and that it was putting her off sleeping with me again. I tell her she isn't a "sex object" (as she puts it) but otherwise I'm not sure what to say, so I just tell her to cuddle me. We kiss some more and I stroke her but we don't end up having sex. I ask her if she's free the next day and she says she might be up for something later in the week. A couple of days ago I text her and this afternoon I text her again asking to see her in the evening and she texts several hours later saying she's out. If we're going from first meet, it's been just about 7 whole weeks since we first met and 5 since we first had sex (mid/late September to a week into November).
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Even though I'm inexperienced the initial 2 weeks went extremely well but I've never been at this stage before and I'm not sure what I'm meant to do (if anything) or what to expect. It's tricky cos although I'm not head over heels in love with her I do like her a lot more than I originally did and I feel like I could benefit from some kind of relationship. I wonder whether the scales have tipped the other way a little in terms of investment (because she doesn't some quite as into me as she originally did, but still pretty warm) but I can't tell who's more into who or what exactly she's thinking. Her being worried about being "easy" seems to be the problem but I wonder if there's something else, or if I'm doing fine and it's just her anxiety. I wonder if she found the sex disappointing.
Any advice I'd be really grateful for.
