Don’t know if I’ve fucked up or not


Space Monkey
space monkey
Feb 26, 2014
Basically I’ve being “seeing” this girl for a while now.
There’s been sexual tension since day one (about 9 months ago) as we’re in the same course. We agreed that nothing was going to happen between us because it may make the course (that’s 2 years long) difficult should anything happen.
A long story short she started sleeping at mine because we were doing coursework together and she lives a train journey away and it was getting late. She kept coming back, I’d cook dinner and each night she stayed, things progressed. We haven’t had sex because the first time we almost did, we were both drunk and she asked me if we could do it sober because she wanted it to mean something. I agreed.
Then take it to last night where I started feeling insecure in that I didn’t think she wanted to take it any further. She was being a bit distant and didn’t accept my offer to her staying at mine again. So my head was a bit over the place.
I got very drunk and ended up kissing a random girl while the girl in question saw. I don’t remember what happened or anything like that but the girl I like ended up walking with me home. We both got upset and were talking about it and we ended up kissing and almost having sex again. But as I mentioned before, we agreed not to while drunk.
She was saying to me that she’s annoyed but she doesn’t know if she has a right to be angry because we weren’t exclusive (which I completely agree with) and she told me that before things “started happening” between us, she had kissed a randomer while drunk.
This has turned into a long winded version of
Do I take the mindset of “well I can do what I want”
Or take a more apologetic approach ?
I offered her to come round tonight to talk about things and I’d make dinner but yeah I’m just not really sure.
I didn’t realise she was insecure and said “I always think you could just choose someone else and go for them”


Space Monkey
space monkey
Oct 27, 2018
You did, and you didn't.

The way you messed up was in waiting so long to have sex. If you like her and want to sleep with her, and she's sleeping at your house, go for it. She's going to say she wants to wait because she's a girl - and it's your job as the man to make it happen.

You didn't mess up by kissing another girl. You did mess up by being apologetic about it.

If you like this girl, stop thinking about the what ifs and just make it happen.