LR done with booze

[alexlaguma]

A few weeks ago I put a post up asking for advice about how to run dates without alcohol. I got some really useful replies.

Since then I've had 4 dates, 3 of which were lays, 1 didn't work out. I didn't drink any alcohol on the 3 successful ones.

Someone used the phrase "pattern interrupt" to a girls reaction to you not drinking on a date, and I think that is exactly my experience. I think that girls are so used to guys turning up to drinks dates and trying to get them drunk, and acting like a performing monkey cracking jokes non-stop, that it really is a pattern interrupt to see a chill, cool guy turn up who is super relaxed enough to be like "ah i'm not drinking tonight" but still be confident enough to have a date with a hot chick.

It also subconsciously sends the message that this date isn't THAT important to me, like I'm not going to force myself to drink just because a hot girl has agreed to go out with me. This is not a rare thing for me.

Anyway - whoever gave me that advice, thank you - its really changed my approach to dates, and I'm sitting here now the morning after a lay feeling fresh and great, with a perfect recollection of the night.

Onto the lay - a pretty standard one for me actually. I've settled into quite a nice pattern of similar type-ish lays. About a week ago I went for a run up to my local park, which if you time it right is always full of hot girls. Got to the park and slowed down to a almost walking-pace jog so that I could stop and approach a hot girl if I needed to.

Made one approach to a hot girl, got her number (she actually didn't message back). And then did one more approach before I left. I'm feeling quite good with my approaching these days, I just try to improvise on the spot and it comes across a lot more genuine. This girl was super into it and we chatted for like 10 mins before exchanging numbers.

I've been doing a 2-date model recently and I did that here. So a few days later, met for a coffee and a walk. Here I just build familiarity and comfort. I deliberately don't try too hard. I just relax, have a stroll and have a laugh with them. I like to leave there with them having enjoyed it but wondering "does he like me?" because I don't mention future plans or anything like that. Anyway typically I wait 2 days before sending a message "fancy a drink this wkd?" which I've never had a negative response to. sorry @Skills i know you don't like 'fancy' but its normal to say that here lol

So yeh anyway meet this girl for a drink last night, meet her right next to my place. Go to bar. I go to grab drinks, bring them outside to her. I just casually drop it in "i'm on the non-alcoholics tonight, gotta do some work tomorrow" as if its no big deal (which it isn't!) and then I just enjoy myself.

Have 2 drinks there, then I'm like "fancy a stroll?" and she's like yeh, where shall we go? And to be fair i hadn't really prepared an answer. So we start walking and I'm like OK i'll show you my building (there's some cool shit in the lobby of my building). So we go in there, start chilling out. I kiss her and she proper like pulls me in and almost melts into me and I can tell she is super into it. So I just say "wanna check out my place?" and she just smiles and say yeh we can do.

Go back to mine, clothes off within 2 mins. Good sex. Actually that reminds me, I need to make a post about curing PE. I've had a pretty much life-long struggle with PE and have cured it this year. Now I can go forever.

So yeh - day game approach, coffee, drinks, lay. Simple. No-booze. I've done basically the same lay 3x over the past few weeks. I've found my groove.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Actually that reminds me, I need to make a post about curing PE. I've had a pretty much life-long struggle with PE and have cured it this year. Now I can go forever

Would love to read that, have had the same issue pretty much.

Also, what would you say is the part of your date/game that makes them casually follow you all the way home and give 0 LMR.

It’s not that I never have that, but there are a bunch of times that a girl feels like she is not gonna escalate so fast no matter what I do, sometimes even telling me she wants to take her time, she doesn’t go home that early with a guy etc

Congrats on the non-drinking part too! I guess just being chill and not considering it a big issue is what really matters. I never felt personally that drinking or not affected my dates, that said I rarely take more than one glass.

 

[Atlas IV]

Sounds like you're really getting a system down that works for you. Awesome to hear man.

Anyway - whoever gave me that advice, thank you - its really changed my approach to dates, and I'm sitting here now the morning after a lay feeling fresh and great, with a perfect recollection of the night.

Sound like something I wrote in my LR a couple of weeks back? I mentioned that since it's a town notorious for drinking, I deliberately chose not to drink as a pattern interrupt.

I've pretty much cut out drinking too. I feel a lot better and surprisingly it doesn't make much of a difference in dating. If anything it's a positive effect since I'm feeling more sharp and balanced. I think I was using it as a crutch before.

 

[alexlaguma]

Sound like something I wrote in my LR a couple of weeks back? I mentioned that since it's a town notorious for drinking, I deliberately chose not to drink as a pattern interrupt.

Haha yeh bro, doesn't surprise me that it was you that dropped that wisdom!

I've pretty much cut out drinking too. I feel a lot better and surprisingly it doesn't make much of a difference in dating. If anything it's a positive effect since I'm feeling more sharp and balanced. I think I was using it as a crutch before.

100% same for me bro. Thinking that I had to drink on dates was such a limiting belief for me. Its crazy cus since I've stopped my results have gone up, and just generally I feel way better. Zero anxiety, more energy etc. I'm definitely done with it in a dating context.

 

[alexlaguma]

Would love to read that, have had the same issue pretty much.

I'll write something up bro, but in short for me it just came down to bad masturbation habits which I'd have since I was a teen. Nothing crazy, I was just masturbating the 'wrong' way which was teaching my mind/body to reach ejaculation as quickly as possible. Interestingly, changing masturbation habits when you're a full grown adult is pretty fucking difficult. When you've been doing something one way for 20 years its not an easy habit to shift.

Also, what would you say is the part of your date/game that makes them casually follow you all the way home and give 0 LMR.

I don't even know bro to be honest. I just felt she was into me. She complied when I suggested bouncing. And then it was when I gave her a kiss I could just tell from the way she pulled me in that she was DTF.

I was a little bit (pleasantly) surprised back at mine that there was no "we're not having sex" or any of that nonsense. It was just straight to it.

But I don't think I did anything special. We did have a good connection, lots in common. Good flirty vibe.

 

[gameboy]

I don't even know bro to be honest.

I bet it was the 2 date structure. Gives her time to think about you and decide she wants you.

 

[gameboy]

(sorry cant edit) Did you do a lot of texting between date 1 and date 2, or mostly radio silence until you asked her out again?

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I bet it was the 2 date structure. Gives her time to think about you and decide she wants you

Thought about this. I am generally going for a single date close, but I have found that the two date structure doesn’t work that well for me.

I literally did it last week, because I thought ok let’s ease her up into it first. She came for a second date straight to my place and she was giving me the it’s too early, I want more time even then.

 

[Skills]

You are getting laid due to finding a structure that works no necessarily due to not drinking... I had really super high odds almost 100 lat rate if i saw a second time...its on the stats of the how to run a date post i gave you... but brah you getting laid while using the fancy word beyond impressive you and topcat with reckon and fancy makes me cringe..

 

[DoWhatWorks]

Love to see this

4 dates, 3 of which were lays, 1 didn't work out

Easyyyy, good to share , think a lot of guys don't realize these type of numbers (75%+ conversion rates) are possible

"i'm on the non-alcoholics tonight, gotta do some work tomorrow" as if its no big deal (which it isn't!) and then I just enjoy myself.

So much of gaming things are in guy's heads, 99% time she's cool with it, if you're too.

My only comment / prediction?

I've been doing a 2-date model recently and I did that here.

You'll be laying girls in 1 date in 3-12 months max.

Just way more efficient and you'll clock oh, I could of built that same vibe in 1 instead of 2 all this time...

Ace report that shows how DG can be embedded in lifestyle I.E pinging girls while on your run

 

[Skills]

i would keep same structure, if the lay is not there on the first encounter, just do it next time.... but if the lay is there on the first encounter there is not need to be rigid and take it to a second encounter..... and if is not there on the first encounter (you will get a feel), don't keep plowing and just leave it for the second...

^this is what i mainly do...

 

[topcat]

Someone used the phrase "pattern interrupt" to a girls reaction to you not drinking on a date, and I think that is exactly my experience.

that would’ve been me:

we live in the same city. i’ve pulled girls after going for green tea. they really don’t care. as long as you’re non chalant and confident with the ask it actually serves as a pattern interrupt and tips the dynamic in your favour.

Nicely done Alex. As @DoWhatWorks said alot of it is in our heads (including needing 2 dates to close )

Keep it up.

 

[alexlaguma]

You'll be laying girls in 1 date in 3-12 months max.

Just way more efficient and you'll clock oh, I could of built that same vibe in 1 instead of 2 all this time...

Haha I actually think I remember you giving me this advice last year bro.

I don't disagree with it ... but I guess my mentality at the moment is "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" ... but I get your point from an efficiency perspective.

I tell you what - next girl I'll experiment with cutting out the coffee and will see how i get on !

 

[alexlaguma]

that would’ve been me:

nice one bro. it's been a game-changer for me.

 

[Skills]

With all due respect so you and topcat think because you are not drinking alcohol and order a none alcoholic beverage serves ss a pattern interrupt and that is what is causing the lay is total mental gymnastics...

Could it be that you believing the mental gymnastics allows you to feel comfortable to just not drink during the date and confident and you changing structure gets you the lay..

Again I don't drink during dates is total nothing Burger..

 

[topcat]

With all due respect so you and topcat think because you are not drinking alcohol and order a none alcoholic beverage serves ss a pattern interrupt and that is what is causing the lay is total mental gymnastics...

Could it be that you believing the mental gymnastics allows you to feel comfortable to just not drink during the date and confident and you changing structure gets you the lay..

Again I don't drink during dates is total nothing Burger..

no because i still drink on dates and get laid. no difference. the issue is in believing drinking helps or hurts.

it is a pattern interrupt for girls who associate dates with drinking which is standard over here. that is still a fact

 

[Skills]

no because i still drink on dates and get laid. no difference. the issue is in believing drinking helps or hurts.

it is a pattern interrupt for girls who associate dates with drinking which is standard over here. that is still a fact

I still don't understand, women here also associate dates with drinking, specially if you take them to a bar...

 

[topcat]

I still don't understand, women here also associate dates with drinking, specially if you take them to a bar...

usually takes you a couple months. then big epiphany i'll wait..

 

[Skills]

usually takes you a couple months. then big epiphany i'll wait..

if you want to believe that you are going on a date and not ordering alcohol is a pattern interrupt and somehow cont. to a lay, then ok, cool....

And yes cause only Cause women in England drink and women in usa don't drink, when you go on a date at a club or a bar..... Anyways, i will write down the pattern interrupt theory epiphany...

 

[KnownUniverse]

Where are these girls from? Are they local women in a western country?