A few weeks ago I put a post up asking for advice about how to run dates without alcohol. I got some really useful replies.
Since then I've had 4 dates, 3 of which were lays, 1 didn't work out. I didn't drink any alcohol on the 3 successful ones.
Someone used the phrase "pattern interrupt" to a girls reaction to you not drinking on a date, and I think that is exactly my experience. I think that girls are so used to guys turning up to drinks dates and trying to get them drunk, and acting like a performing monkey cracking jokes non-stop, that it really is a pattern interrupt to see a chill, cool guy turn up who is super relaxed enough to be like "ah i'm not drinking tonight" but still be confident enough to have a date with a hot chick.
It also subconsciously sends the message that this date isn't THAT important to me, like I'm not going to force myself to drink just because a hot girl has agreed to go out with me. This is not a rare thing for me.
Anyway - whoever gave me that advice, thank you - its really changed my approach to dates, and I'm sitting here now the morning after a lay feeling fresh and great, with a perfect recollection of the night.
Onto the lay - a pretty standard one for me actually. I've settled into quite a nice pattern of similar type-ish lays. About a week ago I went for a run up to my local park, which if you time it right is always full of hot girls. Got to the park and slowed down to a almost walking-pace jog so that I could stop and approach a hot girl if I needed to.
Made one approach to a hot girl, got her number (she actually didn't message back). And then did one more approach before I left. I'm feeling quite good with my approaching these days, I just try to improvise on the spot and it comes across a lot more genuine. This girl was super into it and we chatted for like 10 mins before exchanging numbers.
I've been doing a 2-date model recently and I did that here. So a few days later, met for a coffee and a walk. Here I just build familiarity and comfort. I deliberately don't try too hard. I just relax, have a stroll and have a laugh with them. I like to leave there with them having enjoyed it but wondering "does he like me?" because I don't mention future plans or anything like that. Anyway typically I wait 2 days before sending a message "fancy a drink this wkd?" which I've never had a negative response to. sorry
@Skills i know you don't like 'fancy' but its normal to say that here lol
So yeh anyway meet this girl for a drink last night, meet her right next to my place. Go to bar. I go to grab drinks, bring them outside to her. I just casually drop it in "i'm on the non-alcoholics tonight, gotta do some work tomorrow" as if its no big deal (which it isn't!) and then I just enjoy myself.
Have 2 drinks there, then I'm like "fancy a stroll?" and she's like yeh, where shall we go? And to be fair i hadn't really prepared an answer. So we start walking and I'm like OK i'll show you my building (there's some cool shit in the lobby of my building). So we go in there, start chilling out. I kiss her and she proper like pulls me in and almost melts into me and I can tell she is super into it. So I just say "wanna check out my place?" and she just smiles and say yeh we can do.
Go back to mine, clothes off within 2 mins. Good sex. Actually that reminds me, I need to make a post about curing PE. I've had a pretty much life-long struggle with PE and have cured it this year. Now I can go forever.
So yeh - day game approach, coffee, drinks, lay. Simple. No-booze. I've done basically the same lay 3x over the past few weeks. I've found my groove.
