Casual/FWB Don't get Attached

Just_Dave

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 21, 2012
Messages
529
The best thing about a casual relationship is the whole "no strings attached" that's constantly advertised in movies, blogs, music, TV, etc...The thing is you don't want to see her excessively (see Chase's post on how much you should see her) or text her excessively either. For texting, this means no texting things like "How is you day going?" That's a huge no-no. The whole reason why it's casual is so you can keep meeting and hooking up with girls without the worry of a relationship.

Once you start acting like a boyfriend, she'll start trying to slip you into that category or grow tired of you. You want to fit the lover category as much as possible. Besides once you slept with the girl, it's her job to keep the relationship going if at all. To not get attached you have to focus on new hobbies, goals, and meeting new woman. There are so many good looking woman out there, and this is coming from a guy in a committed relationship. My biggest pet peeve is seeing guys get hooked on the wrong type of girl. Let the girl chase you my friend. Once you chase the girl, it's over.

To not get attached:
1. No excessive communication or meeting
2. Constantly meet new woman
3. Focus on your goals and don't build your life around her

Another time,

Just Dave
 

Lanoa

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 6, 2012
Messages
21
Very true Dave, though I would like to mention also that one should be always prepared that these casual relationships can go very wrong if you do not handle the cues you give away properly. I believe that is imperative not just to set the right expectations, but to ACT on them and refrain from seeding an idea of something more than casual in girl's head. It is important she does not fall in love with you too. I am no master at this, but it happened to me that girl would fall for me and I mean HARD. She would not mention it or act strange... till our meetings actually stopped. Then she transformed into a furious crybaby, blaming me for making her life worse and felt cheated.

As much as this was just an emotional outburst that ended after few months, I realized that 'no strings attached' does not mean 'no emotions attached'. I just scratched the surface of this, but I believe that we should be careful with the power we can hold. You are walking a very fine line with being 'just casual' and ' a bit more than casual'. You do not have to intend what you say or do in a way she will get it. Watch what you say and do not play around with transitions for the sake of trying it with girls you are not serious about. And I would even say do not keep a casual relationship going on with girls you aren't serious about. Do not plant, what you don't want to harvest. Just my two cents on this matter that I considered pretty important.
 
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