Don't Let Baggage Hold You Back

Just_Dave

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 21, 2012
Messages
529
Drake said:
They say that first love is the sweetest but that first cut is the deepest
Whatever relationship you get in . . . you deal with baggage and the way you handle it makes all the difference in the world. You should always take time to deal with you own problems before trying to handle your girl's.

*****Whatever your ex lovers, friends, girlfriends, parents, bosses, etc... did to you DON'T TAKE IT OUT ON HER!***************

Real quick on handling your own baggage:
1. Accept it, learn that things didn't work out with people and your life and you can't change the past. There's no sense in beating yourself down and holding back your love from someone who deserves it.
2. Learn from it, "someone who doesn't learn from the past is doomed to repeat it." I put my trust in the wrong people at times and it cost me greatly. I got in relationships with girls who weren't the right girl.
- I don't date girls who aren't interested in me
- I don't have friends who try to take advantage of my time
- I surround myself with the best possible people I know
3. Move on! You are the man and you need to act like it! Your girlfriend, lovers, or wife will always be counting on you to lead. You're supposed to be the leader, you can't walk forward if you're to busy looking back. You miss new opportunities!
- This is why whenever I do break up with a girlfriend, I instantly force myself to go find other girls.
- It's not good to dwell on the pass. I've become an accomplished singer by writing about pass experiences, but I don't dwell on them.

Now for handling a girl's baggage: *This should only be done if you got your own life together and you actually plan on sticking around like long term!*

Girls have so much love to give but they only give it to you if they feel like you deserve it. This is why women get dismissive, frustrated, and test men constantly. If a girl's been cheated on before believe me she'll ask you. If a girl had her father walk out on her she'll want to make sure you'll be around before she opens her heart to you.

1. Listen Learn what she doesn't like, and find out what her issues are.
- You must be patient with her, and you must share some things about yourself. This where the "Team Frame" comes really in handy. Because you must relate to her. Don't make her feel stupid or that you don't care about her life.

2. Communicate Don't play the guessing game, if you can feel something is wrong with her. Have her tell you, "Babe, it looks like somethings bothering you, and I want you to enjoy our time together and not be upset."
- This calls out the isssue
- Tells her to get her act together, either she'll tell you and cheer up or she'll be silent and cheer up. Either way you're telling to not be moping around while you're out having fun.
- It lets her know you can read her mood

3. Don't lie You break trust and put your relationship in jeopardy. Just like you don't want her to lie to you don't lie to her. If you don't want her girlfriend to excuse you of lying don't lie in the first place!

Importance: As a boyfriend, lover, or husband you effect you woman one way or another. When things end badly she'll take that into her next relationship. And you don't want to be compared to someone who's not even around. People want to have all of you not just parts of you!

Don't hurt a girl and make your intentions known! Set the right expectations!
 
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