Don't make the same mistakes I did

[ozzyfrogs]

This is for guys that are particularly socially awkward or lacking in common sense like I am

Started cold approach last year and one of my first attempts was talking to a cute girl on a bus, I didn't remember her but she seemed to know who I was from school, not long into the interaction, maybe 15 minuets, I read her interest wrong and thought it was a good time to try escalating the interaction, so I put my hand on her leg for a few seconds. BIG mistake, at the time she didn't mention it, we parted ways and the only thing I thought I had done wrong was not asking her out or for her phone number. I think my last words were 'see you around' not thinking anything of it, so later that night I have the police at my door, saying the girl was very distressed because I had touched her. They gave me a very hard time about it and I lost my confidence for months.

With the new year I felt I had to get back out there, I'd had a couple of successes the year before and was feeling good. Caught a girl giving me lots of approach invites, she looked a bit young but that thought was completely forgotten when she turned and looked straight at me, we held eye contact for at least 5 seconds and she was drop dead gorgeous, I said to myself you can't give up this opportunity and that her age was just an excuse not to approach. So I talked to her for a bit, asked her what she was up to, when she said she was still at school I decided not to take this any further, she mentioned that we had spoke briefly on facebook that I had forgotten about. But for the most part it was just a friendly conversation, some more eye contact and smiling then we parted ways. Once again I had the police at my door, giving me a hard time as this girl was only 15 and she had freaked out and called them.

So my advice to you guys is, don't touch a girl till you've been with her for at least and hour and only if it's going well, could be the leg is not good place to touch her also. Always ask for her age if your in any doubt, remember that women don't always tell the truth and they can lie about their age, better safe than sorry and I hope you guys stay safe

This second time round I'm hopeful that I can retain my confidence quicker, I'm currently under investigation and feel sorry for the officer that will have to read all my pathetic pickup attempts on facebook

Advice welcome, and if anybody has any similar stories to tell, lets hear them

The Frog of the Oz

 

[Man-O]

If it's rly true then I must say "auch" even if you did something very badly calibrated. You can however touch a girl right off the bat if she's into you but you gotta know when they are, hence calibration.

 

[Smith]

Hey ozzy,

Usually with touching, you need to start out light with incidental touching around her arm and hand area, which is usually 'safe', and if she responds well then you can escalate a bit more. Touch on the leg is very sexual and it's a very bold move on someone you just met on the bus. You should always start out with a bit of incidental touch on the girl soon after you meet her, but make sure you calibrate it according to her interest.

Good luck and keep getting more reference experience!

 

[ray_zorse]

Yeah my sympathy man I've been investigated for family violence and it's not fun.

Better keep a low profile, I would suggest cold approaching girls who don't know you / aren't part of your social circle and also leaving Facebook out of the equation. That's what I do as a rule (high value men don't even have Facebook). If it's social circle I tread pretty gently. If it's a street approach well they don't know who I am and basically I can do what the fuck I like and there's nothing they can do about it.

As an example I was in a shopping centre and I approached a HB8Blonde and she'd finished her shopping, instead of inviting her to join me I invited myself to join her (wasn't dominant as I was a bit intimidated by her beauty) and then started trying to figure out which carpark she was heading to, cos I was gonna say something along the lines I'll walk you to the such and such shop and then we'll part ways, as you can imagine this came over pretty creepy and in retrospect I was concerned she would call centre security and give them my description. Well, you know, I doubt she did that, but if she did, actually what's she gonna say, some blonde haired guy wearing jewellery and white pants? Doesn't narrow it down much

Another example was when this lesbian bitch started tooling me and ruining my approaches and I ended up spanking her on the bottom, an hour later she re approached me and started trying to get between me and my girl and I had to push her aside, well if this went on CCTV then I might be in trouble (it was in city centre), also if she knew my name she could complain to cops I assaulted her with the spanking, but actually... well, what the fuck she gonna do, she don't know my name

Having said all that, it's best to keep it calibrated and go around giving girls good times

Are you in Aussie? I am.

-Ray

 

[ozzyfrogs]

Actually I'm a Scot, the Ozzy is in reference to Ozzy Ozborne.

Yeah gonna keep my head down, wait for this to blow over. I took your advice and deleted dating apps and I'm only keeping my Facebook for the news feed. I'm going to avoid girls I know from now on.

My calibration needs work and experience and it's going to be difficult as I'm realizing I have an issue with making people uncomfortable due to social anxiety. Lot of fog and filters I put on which causes my conversational skills to not be fluid, I tend to jump around or pause for too long and it really irritates people, especially women who want you to be as good at seducing them as you look.
Only practice will help I'm afraid so just got to commit to it and not let rejections, hell even creep shame and drama queens to get me down. Much of the anger I think I get from women I think is down to be not being able to give them what they really want - sex. I'd say I'm in the top 20% looks wise, which worked for me when I was younger and girls would find ways of being alone with me without anybody finding out, but as I've got older I find women need me to take the lead. Not being in as many social situations and lack of communication has led me to get more desperate hence my mis-firing decision making above^

I never knew this could be so dangerous when I started out but I feel I'll become stronger for it. The combination of past success, recent failure and desperation, an inability to connect with women and make them feel comfortable and probably a host of other things has led to some silly behavior on my part, It'll be hard to accept my mistakes but I know we all make them.

Creep shame is bad, it's worse when the police do it to you, I hope this helps somebody who could be in that dark place I was, stay safe guys but that doesn't mean don't take risks, be the man you were meant to be

Frog of the Oz