FR+ Doppelgänger

[Ambiance]

The universe has a very cruel sense of humor.

Met this girl on Tinder after arriving back in SD and recreating my Tinder profile for some momentum after two month's hiatus. The new profile effect led me to get many matches very quickly, something I've capitalized on before.

The girl's name is Riley. I opened her with my standard push/pull opener, then complimented how carefree she looks in her pics. Get a long response and a question back so I know we're in a good place. Do some more push/pull and some framing, set up a Starbucks date, and snap her a few days later to keep things warm enough.

My car's back in CO, so I have to walk to the date. Show up at the Starbucks wearing this light blue shirt that looks great on me with black jeans and black timberlands. I get there first and order, and am friendly with the baristas and a stunning brunette to get some social momentum. I then sit and wait. I shoot her a snap after 10 mins asking if she is coming, but the WIFI is shit and I realize that if she sent me anything I wouldn't have been able to get it. I turn WIFI off and get a message she has been in the parking lot the entire time, so I have her come in.

I'm staring out the window, and I think I see her walking up. From her pictures I was expecting a cute brunette, but all her pictures were from a distance so I couldn't tell what her face was like. I'm watching this girl get to the door, then I get a tap on my shoulder, and I turn and see the girl who started it all beaming at me. Except it can't be her, she is back in Colorado. I'm in awe but keep my cool, give her a big smile and a big hug, and we start talking.

I'm stunned. I thought this girl Kristine from a month ago was similar to that girl in high school who broke my heart, but Riley might as well be her identical twin. Same eyes, same face, same teeth, same hair, same body, same height, same smile... She is 5'4", slim, brunette, with big eyes and a huge smile. A dead ringer for the once girl of my dreams. It doesn't seem possible, but here I am on a date with her, and she seems as excited as I am.

The next hour or so was straight out of a dream. Life til now has been a waste it seemed; at last things were how they should be. As they were meant to be. We are vibing like crazy, and she just cannot stop smiling that gushing grin at me. We're sitting side by side which is ideal. I'm very talkative. The conversation is probably split 45/55 me to her. I flow back and forth between playfulness and finding out stuff about her, and my touch keeps ramping up. I feel like such a stud. Turns out this is one of her first Tinder dates, and she doesn't like to party or do drugs, and is very smart underneath the surface. Excellent. I make several flip comments that she just eats up, such as being a big Trump supporter. I also get some social proof from an older gentleman sitting next to us, and after he overextends his welcome into our conversation give Riley a few looks that boost our "togetherness vibe" if you know what I mean as she feigns outrage then bursts into laughter at my audacity. There's so much banter between us. This girl is a fantasy.

After over an hour we are sitting very close to each other and her pupils are very dilated and our heads our close with lots of touch. I figure her logistics and find out she is free for several more hours at least. I stand up and tell her we're going, and she is faux-resistant but comes anyway. I then tell her we're going to her car as we're walking, and after some banter about how much she loves just sitting in her car (from what she was doing earlier) I tell her I want to show her my apartment complex. She refuses as we start driving, saying she doesn't know if she can trust me and that we've only just met. I persist, telling her I didn't mention my apartment, throw a chase frame in about how that was her idea, and that I just want to chill in the surrounding area. We both know I am full of BS, that's the point, and we are both laughing about it, but this doesn't stop her from making a left instead of a right at the stoplight to my place, and she jokes how she is kidnapping me and we start heading downtown instead.

At this point I don't know how to react. Do I get aloof, or annoyed? Instead I channel my inner Damon Salvatore and get snarky, with comments like "Right away Miss Riley" when she asks for directions. She is flustered cuz she doesn't have a plan, but I know she is loving it. I tease her about her "kidnapping attempt" and such, and her inability to find parking, and she is getting annoyed but we're also touching each other a lot.

Fianlly we find parking, and at this point I take control and take her to a farmer's market. There's lots of touching still, and teasing, and I'll give her spontaneous hugs over how silly and cute she is. We sample some things, I have her follow after me after she playfully tests me by wanting to go one way when I'm going the other, and at one point I grab her and we run through traffic when the cross guard tells us to stop. After a bit we double back, me saying I'm getting hot, and we stop to listen to a singer. I'm holding her and everything just feels right.

We get back to the car and decide to go get ice cream near my place. We both know the real reason is to get closer to my place though. Once we get close we mutually "miss" our exit, and I say I'm tired and we're going to my apartments. After some faux resistance she complies, and we park and enter. I'm talking to make the transition smooth. She is very much in awe of my apartment complex. I give her a brief tour, while the entire time she insists she isn't going inside my apartment, but I get her there anyway. Introduce her to my roommates, then head upstairs. Have her take her shoes off and sit on my air mattress. Get very close to her and touch her a bunch. After 5-7 minutes or so I make a move. I wanted it to be more spontaneous but she sees it coming, and I only end up pecking her cheek. My manhandle kisses need work- I was not aggressive enough.

Instead of getting back into conversation, I make another move after 30 secs or so and peck her lips. Now I pull back and I she is very nervous, but her eyes are huge. I remember some advice about kissing being a release and instead carress her body and peck her shoulders and neck and stroke her hair. After some time I start kissing her face, not going for her lips, and she gives me quick pecks on my cheeks and bats my nose, which I think is sooooo cute... ugh.... Seriously this girl is exactly what I dreamed of when I was a child. No girl has done this to me before.

I get closer and closer to her mouth, and give her a light kiss, pull back, kiss her again, pull back, get close and this time pull back before the kiss to which she gives an "Uh!" and kisses me. I do this again, then turn the passion to 11 and we're all over each other for 10 seconds or so, then she pulls back. So I do too. We talk some more, and I get too logical. I can tell I'm rusty. So I catch myself and dial it down, and keep running my hands all over her body and playing with her hands. She keeps saying how this is too fast and we don't even know each other and she doesn't know my intentions. I do my best to combat this, and show my cards too much, telling her how very much my type she is and that I'm just as nervous as she is. This goes back and forth a bit, as you might expect.

I then pick her up and we sink more into my pillows, her draped in my arms. I get super passionate, and am all over her, and she seems to be melting. I get her under me and we get hot and heavy and for once she is guiding my hands to her breasts, but then she catches herself and stops me. I keep holding her and smelling her hair and giving her kisses, kinda bewildered how she is able to resist me. We kiss some more, lightly, with me pulling back first, and talk some more. I try a few tactics like questioning her commitment and her spontaneity, but these aren't as effective as I hoped. I then tell her how absolutely beautiful she is, and how crazy I already am for her, hoping my fire will melt her. It feels like I am getting so close! The world is within my grasp!

Then her roommates call asking where she is and that they're gonna leave for this football game soon. Riley starts telling me that she has to go and that we can continue this later, but I am adamant that while she can leave whenever she wants, I want her to stay and that she'll have a much better time with me then some stupid football game she'll forget in a week. I keep grabbing her and kissing her, and pick her up at one point. Even that didn't work.

Finally, as a hail mary, I try out a Hector article tactic where I allow myself to start going into auto-rejection. This dissipates the mood, and I put my shoes on as I hand her hers, then walk her out. I tell her how busy my schedule is, and that we need to enjoy each other now while we can, but when this doesn't work I walk her out to her car. Things are quieter. I channel Damon Salvatore again, trying to retain a portion of my dignity. I open her car door, say goodbye, give her a hug, and she plants a big kiss on my lips. And then I walk away. Chest up, shoulders back, head held high, but my eyes would have betrayed me if anyone saw them. I'm shattered, because I know I'll never see her again, not after I pushed so hard and didn't make it happen.

The rest of the day sucked. I get a big fever and massive headache, without a doubt psychosomatic, and attempted a power nap before deciding to go clubbing downtown. I don't hear from Riley. Clubbing blows that night, and I then half-heartedly attempt some street approaching but give up. I don't want any of the girls I see, I want Riley.

Looking back there are many things I did wrong. I didn't keep speaking to a minimum, put too much effort in, spilled the beans, was too logical in my attempts to bypass her resistance, didn't get deep enough with my deep dive, botched my first manhandle kiss, could have been bolder in my physical escaltion, didn't touch her vagina enough, and probably a few other sticking points that I'm blind to.

So now Riley is on the failed mating attempt track. No contact for 7-14 days, then I invite her to a party where I can get some preselection. Then I leave, invite her to coffee, leave again, then invite her to my place. I'm not expecting it to work. But what can I do, chase her? Hahahahaha... To think I was so close to the one thing I wanted more than all, and had all but given up on...

 

[Hue]

Ambiance,

Interesting read man. Haha you keep meeting these magic girls though - that's pretty awesome. Shows how many majestic fish are out there for you.

I then tell her we're going to her car as we're walking, and after some banter about how much she loves just sitting in her car (from what she was doing earlier) I tell her I want to show her my apartment complex.

When I read this I was immediately thinking she wanted you to escalate in the car with her. Or was it banter for banter's sake?

After 5-7 minutes or so I make a move. I wanted it to be more spontaneous but she sees it coming, and I only end up pecking her cheek. My manhandle kisses need work- I was not aggressive enough.

I've found that qualifying her in a way that incorporates your individual perception of her - as if you've recently "discovered" something about her followed by her response, then a simple "oh yea?" and a manhandle kiss melts girls for a first kiss.

I get her under me and we get hot and heavy and for once she is guiding my hands to her breasts, but then she catches herself and stops me.

Once she starts moving you towards an escalation, I think it's effective to take control of the interaction and "beat her there", but only slightly faster than the speed she was doing it. She's already decided what she wants you to do, and a powerful man fulfilling her sexual desires both ramps things and makes her more attracted to you.

I do my best to combat this, and show my cards too much, telling her how very much my type she is and that I'm just as nervous as she is.

Yea, I've done this too with girls who sweep me off my feet. Though I think there's better ways to make her feel appreciated than revealing that she is "your type". I've seen, "I just think you're a crazy cool girl and am having a great time with you. Are you enjoying being here?" get this message across. Not trying to be too anecdotal here though.

Finally, as a hail mary, I try out a Hector article tactic where I allow myself to start going into auto-rejection. This dissipates the mood, and I put my shoes on as I hand her hers, then walk her out. I tell her how busy my schedule is, and that we need to enjoy each other now while we can, but when this doesn't work I walk her out to her car. Things are quieter. I channel Damon Salvatore again, trying to retain a portion of my dignity. I open her car door, say goodbye, give her a hug, and she plants a big kiss on my lips. And then I walk away. Chest up, shoulders back, head held high, but my eyes would have betrayed me if anyone saw them. I'm shattered, because I know I'll never see her again, not after I pushed so hard and didn't make it happen.

Hey you had to try something bro. I'd imagine that more than anything this could hinder your ability to pull her back in - assuming that you revealed your disappointment. I think it's more effective to take it from more of a "well hey this is fun and all, but I probably should be going (= " rather than a stoic decline of emotions. You're still auto-rejecting, and you're showing by your behavior that her chance with you is slipping - which can make her invest more / become more compliant. You're not mad, you've just got some other things to do.

But what can I do, chase her? Hahahahaha..

Haha. Fucking sprint dude!

The rest of the day sucked. I get a big fever and massive headache, without a doubt psychosomatic, and attempted a power nap before deciding to go clubbing downtown. I don't hear from Riley. Clubbing blows that night, and I then half-heartedly attempt some street approaching but give up. I don't want any of the girls I see, I want Riley.

I don't want you to become outcome dependent man - that's never fun. If you don't hear from her, just recognize how sensational of experiences you're capable of creating and have created with women you've only just met. Considering your fundamentals are fire and you guys had a great connection, I'm starting to wonder if one of your main sticking points is boyfriend-keeping tactics. As in she won't smash because she recognizes your quality and doesn't want you thinking she's a slut. What do you think?


Hue

 

[Ambiance]

Interesting read man. Haha you keep meeting these magic girls though - that's pretty awesome. Shows how many majestic fish are out there for you.

It's blowing my mind how many amazing girls that are just perfect for me are out there. Puts a lot of things in perspective.

When I read this I was immediately thinking she wanted you to escalate in the car with her. Or was it banter for banter's sake?

It was just banter, and much of it was mine. Was trying to take the edge off the transistion.

[quoteI've found that qualifying her in a way that incorporates your individual perception of her - as if you've recently "discovered" something about her followed by her response, then a simple "oh yea?" and a manhandle kiss melts girls for a first kiss. [/quote]

Ive used this as an excuse before With Riley I just didn't build proper tension.

Once she starts moving you towards an escalation, I think it's effective to take control of the interaction and "beat her there", but only slightly faster than the speed she was doing it. She's already decided what she wants you to do, and a powerful man fulfilling her sexual desires both ramps things and makes her more attracted to you.

This is an excellent strategy, and one I've done semi-consciously in my better escalations. I'm gonna try to be much more conscious of it going forward; thank you for pointing this out.

Yea, I've done this too with girls who sweep me off my feet. Though I think there's better ways to make her feel appreciated than revealing that she is "your type". I've seen, "I just think you're a crazy cool girl and am having a great time with you. Are you enjoying being here?" get this message across. Not trying to be too anecdotal here though.

Yes, I gave her too much here. Can't reveal all your cards after all. At the very least I could have prefaced such a statement with being very, very vague and cryptic with my responses so that she could feel I was absolutely in control.

Hey you had to try something bro. I'd imagine that more than anything this could hinder your ability to pull her back in - assuming that you revealed your disappointment. I think it's more effective to take it from more of a "well hey this is fun and all, but I probably should be going (= " rather than a stoic decline of emotions. You're still auto-rejecting, and you're showing by your behavior that her chance with you is slipping - which can make her invest more / become more compliant. You're not mad, you've just got some other things to do.

YES. Why did I not think to handle it this way?? I knew how weak my behavior was making me come across, but couldn't think how else to do it... this is definitely the way to do it.

Haha. Fucking sprint dude!

But I'm tired from running from all the other girls;P

I don't want you to become outcome dependent man - that's never fun. If you don't hear from her, just recognize how sensational of experiences you're capable of creating and have created with women you've only just met. Considering your fundamentals are fire and you guys had a great connection, I'm starting to wonder if one of your main sticking points is boyfriend-keeping tactics. As in she won't smash because she recognizes your quality and doesn't want you thinking she's a slut. What do you think?

Hahaha Hue I freaking love you. I was WAY too much of a boyfriend with her... asked her all about her past relationships and partner history. I was trying to run my date the way Chase would, where you build up this huge bond, but I didn't differentitate myself from a boyfriend nearly enough. I'd say this along with not having enough control over the interaction were the two biggest reasons we didn't get together.

So I ended up shooting her a text two days later saying I had fun and that she's an interesting girl. She replies that she had fun but she doesn't think she's what I'm looking for, and best of luck. I was anticipating this, so I say no biggie, same to you, and then "Friends"? Which she agrees to. Now I'm ignoring her until enough time has passed, at which I will invite her to a party. It's saddening, but I've had my hands full with a bunch of other women that it's taken the edge off. I'm not counting on ever seeing her again, but if I can get her to come to a party, I know exactly how to fix everything and where to correct what I did wrong the first time.