What's new

Dropped the ball, is she giving a second chance?

JDB_40k

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 15, 2014
Messages
47
Hey all, so I dropped the ball a couple weeks back. Had a girl lusting after me from the moment she sat down. Had bad logistics but she had told me she lived near by, so I went for the pull. Persisted through and got to a point where she said something that made me think she saw me as a BF candidate. ANYWAY, I missed an escalation window she provided later on and thus went home empty handed.

So I tried to arrange a second date a few days later and got no response. Tried again, no response. Chalked it up to a missed opportunity, no big deal, plenty of other girls.

Suddenly tonight I get a text from this girl, hadn't reached out to her in almost a week. She says "Hey, sorry I've been busy with work lately. Had an ex walk back into my life and I'm trying to figure things out. --- Don't want you to think you did anything wrong, cause I had a great time."

I don't believe a word of it, sounds like she's just being nice.

Now I ask, is this her being proactive thinking I was going to ask her out again or is there an opportunity to ask her out, no strings attached kind of deal? Is there anything I should say in response in either case?
 

JDB_40k

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 15, 2014
Messages
47
I'm tempted to respond with:

"You don't have to be nice, We both know who dropped the ball. I enjoyed talking to you, but we had a "good" time. I'd like us to hangout and grab a drink. Let me know your schedule when you are ready to have a GREAT night :)"
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
6,352
JDB-

Best response to this is to push it back on her plate in a cool way, like so:

  • HER: Hey, sorry I've been busy with work lately. Had an ex walk back into my life and I'm trying to figure things out. --- Don't want you to think you did anything wrong, cause I had a great time.

    YOU: Haha, yeah, those situations are always messy as all get out. Anyway, I'll leave you to it, but once you've got that sorted, if you want to hang again sometime, drop me a line.

Note that you're actually flipping the dynamic on her that she pulled on you; she came in with, "Here, let me take care of your emotions - you did nothing wrong."

You respond with, "Hey, no worries, I've already been there and done that and the drama you're going / just about to go through I know all too well. Give me a shout once that's all over," and you're back in the lead again, as the guy who knows more than she does and is very graciously looking out for her.

Chase
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers
Top