Met this girl whilst volunteering for a conference. We connected well, and I got her contact info. A week later, I said we should get drinks. She enthusiastically agreed. We settled on 9 PM on a Sunday at a bar that I'd been to before (but knew could be busy). I was living with fam at the time (this is about to change in a couple of weeks, will have my own 1bedroom soon), and this bar was about a 15-20 min drive to her place. I was (and still am) very new to this so I felt the most realistic result would be a kiss.
We first meet up at the bar. Hugs but no kiss or anything like that. It was busy (as I feared). Fortunately, 30 min before I had walked around the area and spotted a nice, relaxed-looking hotel bar/lounge only 5 min away from the original location. I said I knew another place that could work, and she followed me. We had basic but friendly conversation, no hand-holding or anything like that.
We get to the hotel bar, and she even says "this place is actually even nicer than the first place". Plus one to the point Chase (or someone else forget the author) made on scouting backup locations. However, sitting down is where I made the first mistake.
The waiter put us at this round table with high seats. The seats were 180 degrees from each other at first. As she sat in hers, I moved mine a little closer, but I felt too nervous to go right up to her, so I put it at ~120 degree angle. Since the table was round and kind of big, I definitely felt the gap. It did not feel as close and personable, and coupled with some nerves this definitely affected the vibes. After ordering drinks, and after we got served those little bar nuts/snacks, I was deep diving but I did not do well (at one point she jokingly said something like "this is like an interview" or something like that). If I could do this differently, I would have been bold and unapologetically moved the seat straight up next to her at the very beginning.
Knowing I made a mistake, I was thinking of an excuse because it felt weird to just say "let me move closer to you or something like that" (though I could use thoughts on this). I struck when she mentioned something about getting more nuts/trying to flag down the waiter. I was sitting with my back to the restaurant, so I said "sounds good let me sit over here so I can keep an eye out for the waiters". I moved my chair right next to her so now we were sitting side-by-side, and I could finally make some contact. The vibe definitely felt better.
Now our shoulders and arms started brushing more. Sometimes I would hold her phone and ask her to show me things, and her hand would wrap around mine a bit. The vibe improved dramatically. Because I knew I could not pull her back to my place, in my mind I thought my best bet was to try to go for a kiss to try and seal a second date. However, I kept on chickening out and not knowing what to do. At 11 PM we still had neither kiss nor full on hand-holding. I've recently read up on Mystery Method, and in the future, I plan to use his kiss-close method once I feel the conversation gets to a sufficient high point. My understanding is that a kiss, even if failed, would have been better than not attempting.
Not long after 11 PM, we left the bar, and I walked her to her car. During this walk, I did not hold her hand or anything like that because I myself did not quite feel the comfort there. She felt it too, as I could tell from how her arms were in that crossed-over position. At her car, I hugged her and we ended the night. She texted me after she got back home and the conversation was nice, but I probably won't be able to see this girl again.\
Comments and critiques welcome, thanks
We first meet up at the bar. Hugs but no kiss or anything like that. It was busy (as I feared). Fortunately, 30 min before I had walked around the area and spotted a nice, relaxed-looking hotel bar/lounge only 5 min away from the original location. I said I knew another place that could work, and she followed me. We had basic but friendly conversation, no hand-holding or anything like that.
We get to the hotel bar, and she even says "this place is actually even nicer than the first place". Plus one to the point Chase (or someone else forget the author) made on scouting backup locations. However, sitting down is where I made the first mistake.
The waiter put us at this round table with high seats. The seats were 180 degrees from each other at first. As she sat in hers, I moved mine a little closer, but I felt too nervous to go right up to her, so I put it at ~120 degree angle. Since the table was round and kind of big, I definitely felt the gap. It did not feel as close and personable, and coupled with some nerves this definitely affected the vibes. After ordering drinks, and after we got served those little bar nuts/snacks, I was deep diving but I did not do well (at one point she jokingly said something like "this is like an interview" or something like that). If I could do this differently, I would have been bold and unapologetically moved the seat straight up next to her at the very beginning.
Knowing I made a mistake, I was thinking of an excuse because it felt weird to just say "let me move closer to you or something like that" (though I could use thoughts on this). I struck when she mentioned something about getting more nuts/trying to flag down the waiter. I was sitting with my back to the restaurant, so I said "sounds good let me sit over here so I can keep an eye out for the waiters". I moved my chair right next to her so now we were sitting side-by-side, and I could finally make some contact. The vibe definitely felt better.
Now our shoulders and arms started brushing more. Sometimes I would hold her phone and ask her to show me things, and her hand would wrap around mine a bit. The vibe improved dramatically. Because I knew I could not pull her back to my place, in my mind I thought my best bet was to try to go for a kiss to try and seal a second date. However, I kept on chickening out and not knowing what to do. At 11 PM we still had neither kiss nor full on hand-holding. I've recently read up on Mystery Method, and in the future, I plan to use his kiss-close method once I feel the conversation gets to a sufficient high point. My understanding is that a kiss, even if failed, would have been better than not attempting.
Not long after 11 PM, we left the bar, and I walked her to her car. During this walk, I did not hold her hand or anything like that because I myself did not quite feel the comfort there. She felt it too, as I could tell from how her arms were in that crossed-over position. At her car, I hugged her and we ended the night. She texted me after she got back home and the conversation was nice, but I probably won't be able to see this girl again.\
Comments and critiques welcome, thanks
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