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Ex-Girlfriend Reconnects

SteveUno

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 24, 2013
Messages
46
Hi guys,

What is the approach for when a girl you had a serious relationship with reconnects? Especially in a situation when you believe she wants to try to make it work again, and you do as well. How long to wait after she texts, how available/unavailable you should seem, etc.

Any articles on this?

Thanks
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,091
Personally I'm going to say if you don't know "what kind of act to put on" then don't pursue the woman. If you don't know what makes her tick after having a relationship with her then why would you want to play games with her now? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If you have to ask a bunch of strangers on the internet then you didn't learn much from your previous relationship.
 

SteveUno

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 24, 2013
Messages
46
I won't even go into how haughty and immature of a reply this is. I have more experience with women than you can imagine. You assume acts are to be put on, that I'm trying to make her tick, and ultimately, you assume games are what my intents are. These are reflections of your own lack of understanding of women. Also, you assume that getting back together with a girl is insanity. Getting back together with someone is not a result of pathological motives, as Chase has talked about getting back with girls he dated in the past.

For those who know what they're talking about, your insights are welcome.
 

Richard

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Mar 1, 2013
Messages
1,819
Chase told me something a long time ago - a tiger's stripes don't change, they just get better at blending in.

People break-up for a reason and, generally, the things that caused the separation don't change so I personally don't recommend it unless very specific conditions were met and it doesn't sound like they were.

It's fine if you want to reconnect and see where things go but she should be doing the bulk of the work. The mindset to have here is "We broke up, I moved on and I'm seeing new women who have already proven to be worth my time - I won't stop seeing them just because we had something, if you want me then you have to be better than the new women I've met."

That aside, Fuck This was responding to what you implied with asking
"How long to wait after she texts, how available/unavailable you should seem, etc."
because you're asking for an angle to play. Plus, the fact that you don't already know these answers seems to indicate a lack of experience (as does your response to him) so while his response might seem haughty or immature there's some grain of truth to the point he's trying to make.

Anyway, that usually isn't too big an issue but if you actually have a lack of experience then going back into a relationship that already didn't work out definitely isn't the best idea because you're likely just trying to secure access to sex/commitment because you cannot get it somewhere else. So, that's something you really need to think about - IF (and really be honest with yourself) you want her back because you feel you cannot get laid or find a better girlfriend elsewhere then you should be tackling that issue and you're in some of the best hands possible to get there.

Now you've got some options to think about. I'd like to stay updated on this situation as it pans out and if you have any other questions then feel free to ask!

-Richard
 
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