Hi Zac, sound good
Ok, let's see:
"She didn't go out with me that night but she was into me"
>>>> As you know, it depends. She may be busy or "she doesn't like you enough". Note that I didn't just say "she doesn't like you" but I also included "enough". The reason is, that the girl may like you (as a friend, as a good guy) but at the same time she is not attracted 'enough' to go out with you. So, we don't know why she didn't go, but the general rule is that if she "likes you enough" she would either reschedule or agreed on 2nd try. Possibly, she would be after you in some other way. That makes sense, if she simply "likes you enough" she wants to be with you...
"I was too fast and she kind of just said no"
>>>> Usually girls don't want to hurt your feelings, so they rather make same lame excuse. For example: "sorry, but I already have a BF". Or "I need to study", something in that sense, just signaling to you that she doesn't have time for you because she is busy doing XYZ. Usually a girl is polite in this way because she is flattered that you are interested in her, yet at the same time she doesn't have the same interest in you. Thus she has no reason to 'hurt' you by rejecting you, if that makes sense...
Saying direct "no" is rather too confrontational for a girl, especially if she is young. She is clearly telling you "no" so you don't get any idea. A girl who tells you directly "no" is rather decided, she doesn't care that you like her, she doesn't care much if she hurts you by rejecting you. This could, however, also depend on culture - girls can behave differently in different cultures... So either way the best way is to laugh it out, don't take the "no" too seriously. If you want to be more of an asshole, you can even laugh in her face... If you are more gentler and more socially tuned, perhaps sexy smile and mysterious look "you don't know what you are missing girl" would do it...
My mistake was however a week later, giving her a gift for Valentine's day.
>>>> Yes, that is a mistake. A girl rejects you, and you reward her by giving her a gift, even telling her that you really like her (ok, you didn't say it directly but you expressed it during Valentine's day, which is pretty much the same). So no, don't do that with other girls.
* If a girl is non-compliant, tells you 'no', rejects you or denies you - ignore it. Shrug your shoulders, and walk away, don't react at all... Whatever you do, don't reward her for that 'bad' behavior, because that is how you are teaching her to behave that way...
* On he other hand, if she is compliant, if she goes out with you or is responding to you - that's when you reward her for 'good' behavior. Don't do it all the time so it is not obvious, and be creative. One day gift, another day ice cream, yet another one buy a ticket to movies...
"...but she was really pissed off and that we never talk for about two years"
>>>> Yes. The clue is in the above "no". She was giving you a clear sign that she is not interested, yet you kept pushing it forward. She told you "no" yet you brought her a gift on Valentine's day. So how else can she get rid of you? She gets pissed, she doesn't talk to you, she avoids you... So we have to be more socially tuned, we have to learn how to read girl's emotions. For example:
* Is she happy to see you around? >> Good, she likes you
* Is she talkative, is she giving you clues that she wants to talk to you? >> Good
* Does she come closer to you when you talk so she can hear you? Does she come closer to you and talks louder, or does something unusual - so you notice her? Good, she likes you
* Is she imitating you somehow? Using unusual words that you are using? Wearing the same color of clothes that you wear? Good, she likes you, she is mirroring you
* Is she looking deeply in your eyes? Even moves her eyes to your lips and back? Good
* Is she responding to your texts and calls? Or better, does she contact you first? Good
* Does she have common things to talk about with you? Does she talk spontaneously and for long(er) time without you even trying to talk? Good
On the other hand:
* She is moving 'away' from you, rather avoiding you, doesn't come closer to you >> Bad. She is not interested
* Is she annoyed by you looking at her, moving her eyes 'away' from you >> Bad
* Is she negative when talking to you or around you? Talking a lot about sickness, throwing up, hospital visits, feeling tired, bored and so on? >> Bad. She is creating a cloud of negative emotions, hoping that you associate her with negative emotions and thus start avoiding her...
* She doesn't respond at all, she doesn't text back, never contacts you >> Bad
* Can she find anything at all to make the conversation easy for you? Is the conversation rather miserable experience, lots of long pauses, lots of personal questioning - while she doesn't even bother to make it easy? >> Bad...
Funny enough, after two years, she slowly give IOIs and then i was trapped by her again. She gave IOIs every two to three days and then never really do anything.
>>>> Try to give her a break. She is just a girl, she knows that you like her a lot. She knows it. She also doesn't want to be mean to you, yet at the same time she doesn't want you to follow her, chase her, showing her your interest... So again, we have to be more socially tuned, we need some attitude like this: Hey, I really like you but I can see that you don't like me 'enough'. I get it, and it is ok, I'm perfectly fine with it... See, that's more mature attitude, you are acknowledging that she 'doesn't like you enough' and it is perfectly ok with you... For simplicity:
* Less experienced guys don't get it. They keep circling that girl anytime she appears. They always try to capture her attention in some way. They always try to tell her or show her that they like her. The more she runs away, the more they want to tell her because they think she doesn't know it. But we already know that girls are not stupid - they know it. Every girl knows that you like her, you don't have to tell her that. When a girl see guy like that, she is thinking that he is like a hungry wolf. He stares at her, he is circling her, he is constantly pacing around her while saliva is dripping off of his mouth... That's quite uncomfortable for that girl, she feels chased thus she runs far away...
* More mature guys don't do that. They give her space, they don't chase her around. They even ignore her because they are busy with other girls. When they see her they smile, say hi - and walk away. If she comes next time, they still give her a space. They don't have the need to make her his GF...
"Nevertheless, despite the reeling and then never do anything, she did like me and i know it. She just didn't know how to proceed"
>>>> We shall not seek excuses for girls, we shall not justify their behaviors. We shall keep it simple: She is an adult, and if she is interested she will let me know in one way or another...
"I knew this when i attended her last birthday party before we parted for tertiary schools and she cried. Funny enough, her boyfriend is there. So i was basically in the boyfriend zone but she already have a boyfriend, thus the inner turmoil"
>>>> The same, no excuses. If she wanted you as a BF she would let you know.
Simplicity is the key to brilliance
~ Bruce Lee
