First post, huge lurker, love this website and forum, learned so much. I have an interesting history, was Mormon, married at 21 had kids left the church at 27 and got divorced. Basically had to learn how to pick up girls from scratch at 27, went through few years of getting good with girls. Think I have done decent but now thinking about relationship. I have read all the articles on here about how to get a girl/ex back. And I admit I think this is a situation 2 with maybe a little 3 thrown in but let me know if you think different.
Started seeing a girl and it was really passionate, tons of sex, she loved it rough and had sex multiple times almost every time we saw each other. Told her after the first week I have kids, although they don’t live with me and I rarely see them. This was a BIG deal for her given some past history in her family with a step mom. But she said she wanted to keep seeing me as long as it stayed “fun” and didn’t get serious because she had just got out of an 8 year relationship a few months before basically wanted to be single for once in her life and didn’t want to be in a relationship so soon after it ended. She is really confident, accomplished, and flirty and believes she can get whatever guy she wants, although that might be because she was in relationship so long and doesn’t know better yet.
She was WAY more into than I was at first, kissing me constantly and all over me when we were out including with her friends. But I came around and started to like her. After month and half she thought I was seeing someone else and almost ended it but I got her to stick around. After 4 months she got black out drunk one night, which she never does, and I wasn’t there and a guy kissed her. Her best friend verified the story. She told me and claimed it was all him but that led to me asking if we were still seeing other people. She said she wasn’t sure and had been trying to decide if she was ok with kids thing. She went back and forth saying maybe we needed a break but wasn’t sure, she even told me just to flat tell her what we should do and she would do it, but I decided rather than push her I would take the pressure off and suggest the break was a good idea. We decided we would have a break but actually had sex right before l left. She texted me right after saying she would miss me “for now”.
Well, week and half later hadn’t spoken and I ran into her out while I was super drunk celebrating a promotion and tried to grab and kiss her (I know, not smooth) and she calmly denied me and said she would call next day. We met up and she said she wasn’t in a place yet where she could be exclusive with anyone and really wasn’t sure she could get over the kids. I calmly said that is fine. She had always claimed she NEVER stays in contact with exs even one of 8 years but wanted to stay in contact with me and even hang out sometimes. I said that was fine. Before we left we actually made out in the car started fingering her and almost got her home for goodbye sex but didn’t happen (not great).
My plan was to make it seem like I was cool with everything for week or two than cut her off and let her chase. I texted her sporadically over the next 2 weeks, all good interactions and she tagged me in a few Instagram posts. Then didn’t text her for a week and posted a pic on Instagram with a girl hanging on me. Didn’t mean to make it seem like we were a couple but pic kind of did look like that. Well week later she still hadn’t initiated and saw her out at the bar. I was totally calm and cool almost flirting with her friend and she was super disheveled and awkward and abruptly almost rudely cut off the interaction and nearly sprinted to other side of the bar. Later saw her dancing with her girlfriend back a little closer to where I was at.
I gave in and texted her a couple days later saying “So Friday night was weird” I was prepared for her to deny but she actually admitted she was “lost her cool” but she kept her texts short. I basically said it was a little amusing and called her a pet name and ended the interaction with a smiley. Which seems a bit kiss ass but I was worried she was in auto rejection from picture.
So do you think she was in auto-reject because of the pic and that is why she was abrupt when I saw her out hadn't initiated in two weeks and was short with responses? Did I smooth things over sufficiently without being too needy? I am actually pretty calm about the whole thing and seeing her didn't bother me at all and actually took a girl home that same night. But she is pretty cool want to make another push for her. Obviously hoping she reaches out and I can get her chasing but even if she doesn't reach out, she is pretty independent, I want to give it another go. How long should I go before trying to make a move? A month? Two? Should I throw in sporadic friendly text or just go straight no contact?
Started seeing a girl and it was really passionate, tons of sex, she loved it rough and had sex multiple times almost every time we saw each other. Told her after the first week I have kids, although they don’t live with me and I rarely see them. This was a BIG deal for her given some past history in her family with a step mom. But she said she wanted to keep seeing me as long as it stayed “fun” and didn’t get serious because she had just got out of an 8 year relationship a few months before basically wanted to be single for once in her life and didn’t want to be in a relationship so soon after it ended. She is really confident, accomplished, and flirty and believes she can get whatever guy she wants, although that might be because she was in relationship so long and doesn’t know better yet.
She was WAY more into than I was at first, kissing me constantly and all over me when we were out including with her friends. But I came around and started to like her. After month and half she thought I was seeing someone else and almost ended it but I got her to stick around. After 4 months she got black out drunk one night, which she never does, and I wasn’t there and a guy kissed her. Her best friend verified the story. She told me and claimed it was all him but that led to me asking if we were still seeing other people. She said she wasn’t sure and had been trying to decide if she was ok with kids thing. She went back and forth saying maybe we needed a break but wasn’t sure, she even told me just to flat tell her what we should do and she would do it, but I decided rather than push her I would take the pressure off and suggest the break was a good idea. We decided we would have a break but actually had sex right before l left. She texted me right after saying she would miss me “for now”.
Well, week and half later hadn’t spoken and I ran into her out while I was super drunk celebrating a promotion and tried to grab and kiss her (I know, not smooth) and she calmly denied me and said she would call next day. We met up and she said she wasn’t in a place yet where she could be exclusive with anyone and really wasn’t sure she could get over the kids. I calmly said that is fine. She had always claimed she NEVER stays in contact with exs even one of 8 years but wanted to stay in contact with me and even hang out sometimes. I said that was fine. Before we left we actually made out in the car started fingering her and almost got her home for goodbye sex but didn’t happen (not great).
My plan was to make it seem like I was cool with everything for week or two than cut her off and let her chase. I texted her sporadically over the next 2 weeks, all good interactions and she tagged me in a few Instagram posts. Then didn’t text her for a week and posted a pic on Instagram with a girl hanging on me. Didn’t mean to make it seem like we were a couple but pic kind of did look like that. Well week later she still hadn’t initiated and saw her out at the bar. I was totally calm and cool almost flirting with her friend and she was super disheveled and awkward and abruptly almost rudely cut off the interaction and nearly sprinted to other side of the bar. Later saw her dancing with her girlfriend back a little closer to where I was at.
I gave in and texted her a couple days later saying “So Friday night was weird” I was prepared for her to deny but she actually admitted she was “lost her cool” but she kept her texts short. I basically said it was a little amusing and called her a pet name and ended the interaction with a smiley. Which seems a bit kiss ass but I was worried she was in auto rejection from picture.
So do you think she was in auto-reject because of the pic and that is why she was abrupt when I saw her out hadn't initiated in two weeks and was short with responses? Did I smooth things over sufficiently without being too needy? I am actually pretty calm about the whole thing and seeing her didn't bother me at all and actually took a girl home that same night. But she is pretty cool want to make another push for her. Obviously hoping she reaches out and I can get her chasing but even if she doesn't reach out, she is pretty independent, I want to give it another go. How long should I go before trying to make a move? A month? Two? Should I throw in sporadic friendly text or just go straight no contact?